LUDICROUS | ✎

Chapter│73

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L U D I C R O U S
[ chapter 73 • amends ]
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I WAS AT our spot.

This was my first time being back here since I arrived back home. From the moment I arrived, I wanted to come here and think like I used to. But I couldn't bring myself to come here. Afraid that I could run into him because this was our shared spot - there was a huge possibility that he could be here also thinking (maybe I was overthinking that, but I couldn't take the risk, so I avoided this spot as much as possible).

But after seeing him today at the bakery, I needed to be here at our spot. I needed a moment to myself to reflect on my emotions and thoughts.

I was furious at myself for running away. I fucking ran! It was unnecessary, to say the least. All I had to do was walk away. But, no, my ass wanted to feel like a main character in a damn novel. It was one of the dumbest things I've ever done - and I've done a lot of dumb shit.

I could already hear Catina laughing and lecturing me about the entire thing. I smile solely to myself; I wish I could hear her crazy ass lecture me. It would've made me feel a tad bit better about this situation.

My eyes dance around the place, taking in the scenery. The last time I was here was the day before I left. For hours I sat on the wooden bench, racking my thoughts on everything I had experienced after losing Catina and what I should do. That day it was gloomy and cold. Today, though, it was sunny. The weather was warm; the birds were out, and some flowers had bloomed. It was peaceful, which brought some calmness to me. I needed that, too - calmness.

I look to my right on the bench, staring at the hand-carved initials. It was Kio's handwriting. There carved into the wood were an "A and K" for the first letters of our names. I remember the day he did that. It was the day he asked me to be his girlfriend, and as we were leaving, he decided to do it because it was our spot. It was cliche but still cute. I smile to myself, thinking about all the memories we shared here. Kio showed me what it felt like to be truly in love, and because of my actions, I lost that.

"Atalie."

My heart stops, and a silent alarm rings in the back of my head. I had been too busy reminiscing over the past; I didn't notice ahead of time that I had now acquired some company. Of course, Kio would've found me. He knew I came here to run away from my problems and think.

Please be a dream. I desperately tell myself. Please be a dream.

I stand up, already wondering what to do. I think I'm going to run again. Just this time to the fucking airport and head back to New York.