Kalon

Chapter 11

Y/n’s mom starts crying when she opens the door and sees her standing in front of it with a nervous look on her face.

She hugs her for a long time, trying to calm her down as the guilt threatens to swallow her up because she keeps saying how much she missed her and how skinny she’s gotten.

She doesn’t look good. She has several strands of gray hair, which just shows how bad things are because her mom is one of those people that visit the hair salon twice a month to cover up the signs of their bodies aging.

And she looks skinnier too.

She just looks sick.

Her dad shakes her hand and gives her an awkward pat on the back, barely able to look into Y/n’s eyes. Y/n ignores the pang in her chest.

“Hey.” Chaeyoung already has her backpack slung over her shoulders, like she wants to leave this place right away. Chaeyoung hugs her, burying her face in Y/n’s shoulder tiredly which is concerning to say the least; while Chaeyoung is definitely a lot touchier than Y/n is, she usually tends to avoid physical intimacy with Y/n if not necessary.

“You okay?” Y/n asks, squeezing Chaeyoung’s shoulders.

“I’m good.” Her sister smiles up at her and Y/n feels a sense of pride in her chest at how strong Chaeyoung is trying to be even though Y/n can see right through her lie.

The house is dark; all the blinds are shut and it smells really stuffy too, like the windows haven’t been opened in a while. It feels a bit like there’s a dark blanket spread over their house, keeping sunlight out and the suffocating sorrow inside.

It’s a sight Y/n is too familiar with; her mom’s depression has always reflected itself in every corner and aspect of their life.

She can’t blame Chaeyoung for wanting to get away. It is one of the reasons why Y/n so selfishly decided to leave as soon as she graduated from High School despite there being good universities near their home.

“Chaeyoung has all the numbers from the village,” Her dad explains to her as he locks the door of the house after they’ve carried all the bags and suitcases into the cars. “I gave the school your contact details in case of an emergency but I want you guys to call us right away if anything happens. Chaeyoung’s asthma has been acting up the last couple of days. She has her puffers with her but just be careful around her. No smoke and no—”

“Scented candles. No perfume. No dusty rooms. Wash the bedsheets at least once a week. I know.” Y/n says, her jaw clenching at the mildly surprised look on her dad’s face.

“Right,” He says, his eyes flickering over Y/n’s face for a moment before he clears his throat and turns to give Chaeyoung a tight hug.

“I’m sorry Y/n,” Her mom says, already sitting in the passenger seat of their car. “I’m sorry you have to go through this again.”

“It’s not your fault, mom.”

“It is. I should be stronger than this. But I’m too weak. I’m failing as your mom again—”

“Mom stop,” Y/n sighs. “We’ve been through this. None of this is your fault. Just focus on getting better, that’s all that matters.”

“Y/n.” She starts tearing up again and Y/n’s chest tightens, not able to handle seeing her mom like this. “I love you so much. You’re an amazing daughter, you know that, right?”

She barely hears what she says. They’re just empty words, as always. She knows what she is. “Yeah.”

She hugs her tightly and kisses her cheeks. She smells like elderflower and it makes Y/n freeze; it’s bringing back memories of her sitting in front of her dressing table while she got ready for work with little Y/n watching her in fascination. She used to put a drop of elderflower oil behind her ear and she’d always smell like that. It used to be such a comforting scent back then and Y/n bitterly realizes how long it’s been since she last hugged her mom like this for her to forget about that habit of hers.