Sherlock Oneshots (Mystrade/Johnlock/Mormor)

Gone - Sherlock

This is part of an old piece of writing that I don't actually like but I have no motivation to write something at the moment so here. I've edited it to fit the characters and be longer but yep sorry it's so short I'm tired 

Sherlock is either gay and ace or aroace so I'm using this cause I'm lazy 

-grey

Sherlock's P.O.V

She rolled down her sleeve and gasped. The camera angle changed, and there was a flag on her wrist. A black stripe, then a grey stripe, then a white stripe, and finally, a magenta stripe. The camera changed again, showing a Google search of 'asexuality'. It read as follows:

Asexuality is a lack of sexual attraction to others, or low or absent interest in or desire for sexual activity. It may be considered a sexual orientation or lack thereof.

The girl gasped and scrubbed the flag off her wrist. The TikTok then began to replay itself, meaning that it was over. I turned off my phone and put it on the bed beside me. I looked down at my shoes, and sighed heavily, exhausted from my sleepless night. I grabbed my laptop out of my bag. I spent hours researching 'asexuality' and really learned what it was. It's a spectrum. I also learned what aromantic meant. It's basically just when a person doesn't feel much or any romantic attraction. You actually can be both at once, or just one of them. 

It was then that I realised that people thought it was a disease or a problem or something that can be fixed. Like... asexual conversion therapy. It sounded horrible. So, I decided that I'd never, ever tell anybody how I felt. That I'd never fallen in love. That I'd never felt anything... you know... down there... My situation wasn't a situation. 

That I never wanted to be with anybody. I'm 18. All my friends have been in and out of relationships. Except me. People have told me that they like me, and have asked me out. I always say no, because I don't really want a relationship. I just don't. I've tried to force myself to have crushes on people, to give me an answer when someone asked me who my crush was. I wanted people to think that I was 'normal'. That there wasn't anything weird about me. That I always fall in love with people. That I always want to have... that I always want to do it. But I don't. I never have. And I'm just trying to work out if I ever will.

Of course, there are plenty of reasons I'm different. People know a lot of those things and enjoy picking them apart. The main one is that I'm in support education because I'm autistic. I like being in SE - it's quieter, nicer. It's pretty peaceful, which is good because loud noises make me want to top myself. Mainstream is too loud, too busy, and too annoying to be surrounded by. 

I'm also smart, which people are surprised by, because people think autistic people are stupid. Trust me, we're smarter than all of us.

I wouldn't want to put on top of that that I'm aroace, or at least I think I might be. I just don't ever get feelings for people. My best friend John has liked girls and boys before. Sometimes I wish I could date him, but I also think it's just because I'm so comfortable with him and I hate everyone else. I don't necessarily have a crush on him, I don't even really want to date him I don't think. I just wish we could live together, hug more, own a dog or two. I don't want to kiss him, or god forbid have sex with him. But I'd be happy to do everything else. Maybe even adopt a child together. 

But, those are things you do with a partner, not your best friend. Right? Maybe we can break the stupid societal rules that don't even really exist. I quite like him, but not in a coupley way. Ew. I just want us to grow old together. Is that too much to ask? He can have a wife or a husband too, but I'm happy to just be the hermit in the spare room. Is that such a problem? As long as his partner and I get along, I don't see an issue.

I'll definitely have to run this by John. This sounds like a fantastic life plan.