"Saying goodbye is death by a thousand cuts. Flashbacks wake me up. I get drunk, but it's not enough 'cause the morning comes and you're not my baby. I look through the windows of this love even though we boarded them up. Chandelier's still flickering here 'cause I can't pretend it's ok when it's not. It's death by a thousand cuts." - Taylor Swift
Devone POV
Biting my fingernails, I paced back and forth while staring at the tiny object above the sink here inside the bathroom silently waiting for the 'bomb' to explode in front of me.
I already have a hint 'cause I'm experiencing some of its early signs but I don't want to presume.
When I noticed that I had missed my period, that's when I started to get suspicious. However, I didn't take the test right away and waited six more days. Baka delayed lang. Ngunit dumaan na ang anim na araw pero hindi pa rin ako dinadatnan. Kaya naglakas-loob akong bumili kanina ng pregnancy test kit sa pharmacy.
I felt like my breath was hanging in the air as the faint color started to show on the two lines. With trembling hand, I picked up the tiny object and stared at it. I covered my mouth with my palm as tears started to stream down my cheeks.
For the first time, I didn't know what to do or feel. But there is only one thing I can be sure of, I will carry this alone.
I went to school as if nothing happened. Pretending everything was perfectly fine when in fact, nothing is okay.
"Miss Davis?" Untag ni Mrs. Javillo sa akin habang nasa loob kami ng conference room to tackle her report regarding pa rin sa cheating issue noon ni Yhael.
'Yong ang dami mong problema pero wala kang magawa kundi sarilinin na lang at magpanggap na okay because a lot of people are expecting you to perform your job efficiently and effectively.
Napahawak ako sa batok at marahan itong minasahe. I really don't feel well, kanina pa ako parang lalagnatin.
"Uhm," Napatingin silang lahat sa akin naghihintay sa sasabihin ko. "Do what's necessary."
Nagkatinginan silang lahat. "Please, Miss School Principal, recommend something that can be done as a punishment to Miss Beverly Evangelista." Tukoy niya sa estudyanteng nag-ipit ng kodigo sa notebook ni Yhael.
Napapikit ako at pinilit ang sariling mag-concentrate. "Suspend her for three days and void her General Chemistry II test score."
Sumang-ayon naman silang lahat sa naging recommendation ko at sa wakas ay natapos na ang meeting. Sumasakit talaga ang ulo ko.
I decided to go home. Hindi talaga ako makapag-concentrate sa trabaho.
Pero noong nakauwi naman ako sa bahay at makahiga sa kama, hindi naman pagpapahinga ang inatupag ko kundi umiyak lang ng umiyak habang yakap-yakap si Red.
I was lying on the bed curled like a fetus and went to sleep with tears in my eyes.
Nagising ako the following morning dahil sa sunod-sunod na tawag sa cellphone ko. Ayoko sanang sagutin pero panay din ang pagtunog ng buzzer sa labas ng gate. Pilit ang mga kilos na bumangon ako at lumabas ng kuwarto.
"Tita," I uttered in a raspy voice. "Good morning."
Pinagbuksan ko siya ng gate. "Kagigising mo lang?" Sabay sipat ng tingin sa kabuuan ko. Nag-iwas ako ng mukha dahil tiyak na namumugto ang mga mata ko sa kakaiyak. "O." Sabay iniabot sa akin ang brown paperbag na for sure ay iniwan ni Mang Gener sa kanya.
