PLAYBOY[Manan's Ff]

chapter-54

Nandu's  POV

I too feared,listening to her.
Past

With fear,my heart is beating rapidly, I  turned around to see. Someone was stood in dark stepping forward and stood below the street lamp. Even to shout  'HELP',my words were struck in my throat, no person  is around me.

I held my thick bangle in my palm,to fight if he approaches me. That's  when he approached made me stunned. Please stop right there.. I said trembling with fear.

But when he raised his head , I  was stunned to see him releasing my bangle which fell on the ground creating a small sound to which I  felt relief.My eyes got teary don't know whether it was happy tears seing him or sad tears due to missing him.Even  though  I  fought myself  not to go near him.

He was pleading with his eyes was I felt. When he called me Roopa after these days. I was like ,I reborn. I tried to be angry failed miserably.He came forward and  stood  beside him.

I retained my consciousness not to touch him or hug him.when he again called me Roopa,throughing away all my thoughts. I hugged him and started crying saying ," I  missed you". But he didn't  hug me back. He never touched me. He never glanced at me in a wrong way like other boys or so made me more attracted  to him.

But when he patted me on my back saying ," I too miss you .......as.s..a..ffriend" made me stunned and moved back . My anger return  back when I listened to him.Why do you even  have to say in particular. Even after all these, This was the first time I felt  Why don't  he Love me even with pity?!.I never wanted anyone to feel pity towards me.

I never felt anything immense in my whole life. Usually  Hate and Love are two strong words ,that doesn't  go with each other. But with him, I hate him for not reciprocating my Love and I just Love him.

I just moved far from  him started running away. Even though,he pleaded me to listen  to  him.while running,  I  felt there is no point of listening  to him.I was letting  him hurt me repeatedly in the hope of his love.

I ran fast till hostel gate and slow down seeing  people present. I rub off my tears  and started to move to my room avoiding  everyone's gaze. There were only a handful of people  whom I  used to talk ,but in them to samatha was the only one I lean on to.

Seeing my dried tears samatha asked me what happened.  I said what happened.  She hugged  me till my tears subsided.Next day , I  didn't  attended to  any classes. Even I didn't went out of my room.It's been three days of me not going out of my room , but this was the first I  felt lost and rejected unlike the any other time. Then there was only anger then. But now it was only pain, even after I felt succeeded in my studies. I felt lost in my personal life. I never loved anyone in my whole life other than my parents made me miserable.

Later I have to attended classes as my professor asked me for details of the lab work.I  went to class and ignored  everyone and  just sat there not interested  in studies even.As they were not more friends  made the situation  simple for me to avoid them, but not their mouths avoided the situation. Most of them know the situation of me and started gossiping  behind me. I felt I'm  the only one against the world. Later I  started involving in studies.In few days I get back into studies again avoiding everything.

But again Fresher's  day  came made less of classes and more of  group meetings. Anand being cultural head from past year made it difficult  to  avoid him ,even how hard I try.Unlike before,  he never  glanced  at  me  made me more miserable . Girls and boys always around him made me jealous.  I  started again isolating myself seeing Shreya with him.

Everytime I  see both of them, my heart pinches.I ignored them completely is what I  thought, but no, I was always  have an eye on them.You know how  silly I turned into one day , I poured coconut oil for her to fell. That's  what happened, but instead of her he fell down. When everyone  was helping him, he glanced at me with a knowing  smile made me guilty.

But more of guilty , I'm angry on him for rescuing her. I glared at him but he smiled sadly. I don't know what was going on in his mind.He went to nurse room with shreya and Anil( Anand's best friend), where they said it's  nothing  to worry but will be gone after resting for a while applying  the cream.

He slept after taking tablets made them leave for him to rest. I entered  and sat beside  him, I  just stared at him for few minutes as a tear rolled down  my cheek why have he put him before Shreya. Why don't  he  Love me as much as he Love Shreya!.

He got up staring at me, no words were exchanged as I know he never talk to me. But unlike I thought he said ,' SORRY '. I asked ,"for what !?"trying to act anger.

"For making you go through so much pain," he said.

"There is no meaning to say sorry if you can't  love me back",I said clearly. There is nothing to hide anymore as everyone  is aware of my feelings. He huffed and said that he loves me at first made me a little  hope raise in my heart but is crushed down with his later words,as a friend. 

I abruptly  got up listening  to him." Please  listen to me POOJA, At first I  befriended  you for  Shreya but knowing  you. I  never wanted to loose your friendship."

I want to shout at him," To stop friend zone me". But I just stared him.

"Those were the best days for me with you. But then you came to know about Shreya and me. Everything changed. You never smile made me more guilty. The guilty is killing  me. Why don't  you  forgive  me !? Please....Roopa try to understand. " he said pleadingly made me teary.

Eventhough my brain taunted ," What about you and your feelings.  But my heart questioned that," Do you want him to feel more miserable". Then it was 'No'. I can't  see him in pain. So I smiled sadly.

I don't  usually  have friends  with boys even though  with girls to it was less. But with Boys," It was complete 'NO'.  He first approached  me to become friends. But I declined him ,even though I  admire him but becoming friends is different.  So he asked No..No...He pleaded me to spend  some time with  him. That's  how we went to outing at first.He placed his hands on me asking,"Are we friends!?" Just like the first time he asked me after outing. I really felt emotional  and nodded my head saying 'Yes'. He smiled seeing me happily."My compromise is all the worth of his one smile" , my heart said happily.

My brain questioned, " What about your feelings!?". For that I don't  know.
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Nandu's  Pov

Eventhough  It was lovely to hear their lovestory but she was not coming to the point. And she was reliving those moments making her emotional.  How many times should I  have to say to live in present  not in past. Pushing my anger aside I asked"Mom... ! Why did Dad hate you. You both become  good friends  again.Then how come he hate you.

That's  when  she asked," If we're just friends, then how come you  both came to this world. It's  just the beginning of our story.

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