A Friendship Lost

11 - Confused

Jennifer's POV

Three days after Ben and mine's second date, Marc and I are at the kids school for some discussion about the class and stuff. We both like to attend those meetings.

It's boring as hell though and I'm glad Marc's there to entertain me. He's making stupid comments I have to laugh at, or more like try not to laugh as to not draw attention on us.

„Stop it!", I whisper-yell and slap his arm.
„Uh mama, you gotta hit a 'lil harder to make me shut up.", he raises his brows and makes a face.
I giggle into my palm.
„You're awful!", I whisper-yell again.
„And you like it.", he says and smiles.

I try to listen at what the teacher says but my thoughts drift off to Ben. He's been on my mind non-stop these last days and I can't seem to find a way I wanna proceed with what we have or don't have. I'm still scared this will end badly, I'm still scared I'll wind up getting hurt.

But I'm not sure if I can let him go at this point. Maybe I should, before it's really too late?

Applause rips me out of my thoughts and I applaud too. I don't know for what but I hope I'm applauding for this to be over.

Everybody gets up, so we're finally done.
Marc places his hand on my lower back and guides me out of the building, where his car awaits us. He picked me up at home before.

We get in the back seat since none of us is very good at driving and Marc attaches his palm on my thigh and leans closer.

„Wanna make a quick stop at my place, mama?", he asks.

I look at his hand and smile, although I'm unsure because of the whole situation with Ben. But then again... we're not a couple and sex with Marc simply makes me feel good.

Marc leans even closer, his lips brush over my neck and his hand moves further up.
„Let me release some of that tension you carry mami.", he whispers again and my skin reacts by immediately getting goosebumps. I shiver a little and move my head to look at him.

Our lips almost touch.
I give in. „Okay, papi."

Leah's POV

I'm at Jennifer's house for dinner and after the kids are upstairs again we sit on the sofa and she tells me about Ben and about sleeping with Marc yesterday.

„What are you doing baby?", I ask her and frown.
She shrugs her shoulders. „I don't know."

„You don't wanna commit to anything with Ben, that's why you keep coming back to Marc.", I say.

She looks at me with big eyes. „You think so?"
„I don't. I know it.", I reply. Jennifer sighs, gets up and starts walking up and down.

„You're not well.", I say to her. „And I think you need to check in with yourself and ask yourself what you want." I get up too.

„Oh you think so? It's not that easy!" Suddenly, she sounds mad at me.

„I'm just saying you can't hold Ben on the line forever while fucking Marc. Sooner or later, you'll have to make a decision, or else it's not fair to neither of you."

„Says the one who can't decide to leave her husband for weeks!"

„Hey, why are you mad at me?"

„You give advice you can't stick to yourself.", she says in a bratty tone.

„Ey!", I grab her shoulders and stop her in her tracks. She tries to keep walking but my grip on her is firm and I push her backwards.

She narrows her brows and looks really mad.

„This is not about me!", I say getting loud on her.
She exhales angrily and looks the other way. I take a step closer.
„Listen, I know you're hurt and you're afraid to commit to Ben, but you know you can't go on. You know. So let him go, if that's not what you want. He wants you and you keep his hopes high if you continue.", I speak softly to her, then I place two fingers on her cheek and turn her head so she looks at me again.

She rolls her eyes softly and looks down.
„There are just too much feelings... Like I feel there's something buried deep inside me that I can't get a hold of."

„Oh baby.", I say and she looks into my eyes again.

I don't know what hit me, but I lean in and place my lips on her's. Pictures of our night together flash before my eyes.
Jennifer kisses back for a second, then breaks the kiss.

She frowns at me. „What are you doing?"
„I.. I'm sorry.", I say.

Jennifer turns away and plops on the sofa.

I sit down next to her. „I just thought about the other night and.. I don't know. It was good, don't you think?"

„It was.", she says.

„So I thought...", I say and lean closer. The situation between me and Angelo hadn't improved and sex with Jennifer was the best I had in a while. Why not do it again?

„I thought we could repeat it..?", I ask, put my palm on her jaw and let it slide down her neck.

Jennifer takes my hand and puts it back with me.
„Leah.. you just lectured me about fucking around while I'm unsure about Ben. And now you want some?", she frowns and shakes her head at me.

„I..."
„I think it's best you leave.", Jennifer says. „I'm not mad at you.. Just... I wanna be alone."

She had never asked me to leave. Never. So that hurt.
„Jennifer I didn't mean to... like, I..."
Jennifer gets up from the couch.

„I'm serious, Leah.", she turns around and walks upstairs. I get up too and leave. What was that? Why's she treating me like that?

I feel rejected and hurt, not only because I wanted what she didn't, but because she basically kicked me out of her house, and she never did that before. I'm her best friend.

Jennifer's POV

I'm gonna loose my mind over this. Marc, Ben, Leah... This is all too much for me. What have I gotten myself into?

Ben's POV

I can feel Jennifer's holding herself back and I wanna break her out of her shell. I get that she's scared but she needs to understand that I'm in this forever, if she's in for it too.