A Friendship Lost

33 - Breakdown

Leah's POV

We get outside after we changed into our bikinis and hop into the pool, before we're gonna have dinner with the kids.

Jennifer swims around while I just stay moving in one spot.
„How do you feel?", she asks.
I shrug my shoulders and move my arms back and forth on the water surface.
„Okay? I don't know. It's weird."
„What?"
„Loving two people."
„Mh..", she says and swims past me.
„How long do you have those feelings?"
„Oh.. months.."
„Months?? Why didn't you tell me, Lee?", she frowns and stops in front of me.

Again, I shrug my shoulders.
„I waited for it to go away, I guess."
„So what now?"
„I have no idea.."

Jennifer sighs and keeps on swimming.

After we had dinner with the kids, we go and sit on the patio with our glasses of champagne.

„Who is it?", she asks me.
„What?"
„You're guy.."
„Oh.... You don't know him, it's just an old friend."
„I never met him?"
„No."

We both take a sip. I get up and sit beside her, but she leans back on her lounger and spreads her legs, then she pats between them on the upholstery. I sit between her legs and lean my back on her. The back of my head rests on her shoulders and the side of her face leans against my head. I cover us with a blanket and she wraps one arm around me.

„Mh.", I say. „What would you do?"
„If I fell in love with someone else?"
I nod.
„Right now, nothing. I love Ben more than anything and I wanna spend the rest of my life with him. So if I fell for someone else I'd sit it out.. But a year ago, when I was with Alex.. I probably would've taken a chance..."
„Huh."

I feel like I need to cry again but I hold back. My throat feels tight and my chest hurts. I empty my half full glass of champagne.
„Okay....", Jennifer comments that.
I inhale shakily, still trying not to cry.

„I wish I could help you somehow..", she says.

‚You can, just love me.' I think to myself.
I sit back up because I can't stand her that close to me right now. 
„Leah?", she says and touches my shoulder. I flinch and stand up fast.
„Hey...", she says softly.

I look at her sitting there, then I turn around and storm inside.
„Leah!", she shouts and runs after me.
I don't answer and keep on walking to the bathroom.
„Leah!!", she yells again.

I slam the door after I entered the bathroom, but she's faster, opening it back up before it shuts.
„Don't walk away, Lee."
„You don't understand. You don't know how it feels.", I grit through my teeth. My sadness turned into anger.
„But I could still help you?"

I turn to face her. All I wanna do is crash my lips on hers. All I wanna do is love her.
„Help me?" My voice quivers.

„Leah, you're hiding something and it's eating you up!! I know."
I purse my lips and look at the ceiling, then back at her. „You know?"
She nods.
„You don't know nothing.", I grit again.
„Leah..."
„No.", I interrupt her.

Three quick steps take me to her and out of instinct, I cup her face in a rough way. She looks a little scared, confused, my eyes switch from left to right, looking into her's.

She slightly opens her mouth to say something. Her lips tremble.
I groan loudly,  let go of her and turn away, sobbing. She instantly hugs me from behind and I break down into her arms. We both sink to the ground.

I cry, while she secures me in her warm embrace. I feel sorry for what I've done, I didn't want to scare or hurt her and I feel ashamed of my heavy emotions.

„Did I hurt you?", I softly ask, still sobbing.
„No.", she immediately replies.

„Come on, let's get you into bed. You're sleeping with me tonight."
„Okay.", I whisper.

She helps me up and we walk upstairs while she secures me around my hip with her arm.

In bed she spoons me, with her arms wrapped around me. She holds my hand and caresses it softly until I fall asleep.

Jennifer's POV

From her breathing I can tell she's asleep, yet I don't stop caressing her hand. I'm worried about her, I never saw her that way. Why did she cup my face in such an aggressive manner? I know she'd never do anything that would hurt me, still she scared me a little. She was abviously mad at me, but what for? For not understanding? But how can I, if she's not really explaining?

I softly kiss her on the back of her head, then I close my eyes and fall asleep too.

When I wake up, soft light peeks through my curtains. Leah isn't here. I stretch and look around. I don't hear the shower running. Did she just leave?

I exhale long through my lips.
„Mornin'..", Leah softly says as she's entering the bedroom. She's carrying a tray that she puts on my bed.
There are two cups of coffee, pancakes and fruits.
„Mornin'..", I reply with slight confusion in my voice and sit up.

„I want to apologize for my behavior yesterday." Leah hands me my coffee and I take a sip. She takes her's too.

„It's okay."
„No, it's not. I'm sorry I touched you that way, I shouldn't have. I scared you."
„You didn't.", I say so she won't feel so bad.

She lets her head sink. I put my hand on her chin and lift it back up. Leah frowns.
„It's okay. You're going through a rough time. If I can help in any way, just let me know. Please. It hurts to see you like that.", I say and brush my thumb over her chin. „Okay?", I ask.

Leah nods.

After breakfast, she leaves and I feel kind of bad for letting her. Maybe I should've forced her to stay here.

Max and Cy decide they want to go for ice cream and stay at the house, watching a movie and hang by the pool. Nowadays they don't like being out and about with me as much, because we're always followed around and it's „such a thing" when I'm there. It makes me kinda sad but I get it. So I accept their wish and am happy to at least be able to take them out for ice cream.

After we hung by the pool and watched a movie, they go to their rooms and I have time to call Ben.

He picks up immediately and his face appears on the screen.
„Hi baby.", I say and smile.
„Hi, oh god I miss you.", he frowns and pouts.
„I miss you too." I walk up to our bedroom and lie down. „How's your day?"
„Good, good, how's yours?"
„Good. The kids and I spend some time."
„And now you're alone?"
I bite my bottom lip.
„I am."
„Mh."
„What?", I ask, but I know exactly what.
„The things I'd do to you if we were alone."
„Like what?", I say and bite my thumb nail softly.
„Kiss your neck..."
I run my fingers down my neck.
„..down to your collarbone... your chest.."
I let my fingers follow his route.
„..your beautiful nipples.."
I let my hand slide under my shirt..

„Mom!", Max's head appears at my door.
I pull my hand out and almost drop my phone.
„Ugh, papi, you scared me."
„Sorry. You need to see this!"
„Just a second baby, okay?"
„Okay." Max leaves and I look at Ben.
„That was tight.", I say and pull the corners of my mouth to the side.
„Not as tight as you are.", Ben says with a devilish smile, making me feel aroused.
„Stop! Papi, I need to get to Max. When are you gonna be home?"
„Tomorrow, midday something.."
I sigh. „Okay. Can't wait."
„Me neither baby."

We hang up and I go to Max's room.
„What is it, papi?"
„Mom, look what I've built on minecraft!!"
Seriously? I don't show that I'm a little annoyed I got interrupt because of minecraft..

„Wow that's amazing papi!" I don't get anything on there but if he's happy, I'm too.

I can't wait until tomorrow.