A Friendship Lost

35 - Broken

Leah's POV

„Fuck!"
I pick my phone up, the call is gone and the display has a small crack. Other than that, it seems okay.

She's getting married.

I slowly sit back down and stare into space. My phone is still in my hand. After a while I notice that it's buzzing.

I look at the display. It's Jennifer.
Slowly I lift my hand to take her video call. I don't speak, my ears are ringing.
„Leah?? Are you alright, what happened?"
I stare at her face and come back to my senses.
„I'm okay."
„What happened?"
„I tripped and fell."
„Are you okay? I called you like three times already."
„I had to get a bandaid. So you're... getting married? Ben proposed?"
„Yes. I wanted to tell you before it goes through the media."
„Thank you. And oh my god, congrats! You deserve to be so happy, baby."
I mean it, she does.
„Thank you baby."

„Who are you calling now?" I hear Ben's voice.
„Leah, I told you I would."
He appears on screen, hugging Jenn from behind.
„Hi Leah!"
„Hey. Congrats. I wish you all the best."
„Thank you." He says and kisses her neck. She giggles.

„I leave you to it.", I say. „We'll talk another time, okay?"
Jenn nods. „Okay. Love you."
„Love you too."

We hang up and I wish I could throw my phone against a wall. Instead I squeeze it hard and hold it against my forehead. My knuckles turn white.
„Fuck.", I whisper with a trembling voice.

Jennifer's POV

I hope I didn't overstrain her by telling her. But I had to, or else she would've known from someone else and that would've been far worse.

The next day we tell Ben's kids and they're thrilled.
„So you're our stepmom now?", Sam asks me.
I pull one corner of my lips to the side.
„Stepmom has a weird tone to it, doesn't it? I'm more like.. your bonusmom.", I smile at him.
He nods, smiles back then comes to hug me.
„Oh..", I say as he cuddles into my arms.
„I love you.", Sam says.
„I love you too baby.", I say and put one palm on his head. I'm so touched by his reaction. All of their reactions, actually. Violet and Sera are clearly happy as well.

-

„Did you think of a date?", Ben asks me later that night in bed. I put my book to the side and look at him.
I look up and scrunch up my nose.
„Mh... summer?"
„I didn't think of anything else with you.", he chuckles and rolls on top of me.
„Did you?", I ask him and put my hands on the nape of his neck.

„Not exactly.", he says softly. „But I thought of a place.."
I raise my brows and straddle my waist around his. „Really?"
„What do you think of my house in Georgia?"
I open my mouth slightly but no words come out. We planned our wedding there years ago.. And it didn't work. Could it be a bad omen if we intend to do it there again? Or would it be healing?

„Just think about it, okay? I think it would close the circle...", he says and kisses my lips softly, then looks at me again.

I brush the back of my fingers over his cheek slowly. His beard tickles my skin.
„I will.", I whisper.
Ben smiles and lowers himself to kiss me again.

-

„Okay.", I say and look at Ben. We took the kids to a restaurant and I kind of like the bustle that brings. As I overlook all of our children chatting and laughing I made a decision.

Ben turns his head to look at me.
„Okay what?"
I smile and my eyes get watery.
„Let's do it. Georgia."
He looks at me with big eyes and I purse my lips and nod as I'm holding back my tears. I didn't expect to be this emotional.

„Come here.", he says and pulls me into his embrace. I rest my head on his shoulder and take a few deep breaths. Ben puts his palm on my neck and runs his fingertips along my skin. His embrace works wonders. I feel most secured when I'm in his arms.

I lift my head off his shoulders and we kiss, before we get involved into our kids conversations again.

This moment feels so special to me and Ben knows. He puts his hand on my thigh and squeezes it gently, then he lets it remain there, making me feel the deep connection between us.

Leah's POV

„We're doing it in Georgia.", Jenn says as she's taking her shake out of the fridge.
„Georgia.. really?", I reply.

She nods and sips through her straw. Her eyes shine from pure happiness. I love to see her like that while at the same time I feel the urge to walk away, step outside her door and scream at the universe for fucking up so bad.

It takes me all of the strength I have not to cancel every date we have right now, because I can't stand it anymore. Not her happiness, exactly. More my stomach that's turning and my heart that's hurting.

„Oh! We've also decided on a date!"
„Did you?"
„August, 20th. You'll get your invitation." She winks at me.
„Great!", I say and lift my water as if I'm toasting her.

How can I possibly live through that? I don't think I can. But she's my best friend. I need to suck it up and be there. What if I'll do something stupid? Something like, telling her I love her? What if I totally lose it? I don't feel like I can trust myself right now.

„Leahh?", she whispers into my ear from behind while hugging me.
I flinch.
„Are you ready?"
„Sure."

I get up and follow her outside for our shopping day. My thoughts are on the wedding though.

Jennifer's POV

The wedding preparations are in full swing, three days ago we sent out invitations and responses keep coming in.

I'm excited and I still feel like I'm dreaming. Although I'm a little anxious too, because we've been there. And we lost all of it. I try to trust god and the universe. We won't be let down a second time. This time, everything's right.

I check the responses and see that I haven't got one from Leah and Angelo yet. Which is weird, she was one of the first to know and the majority of people are responding very quickly.

I'm thinking about asking her, but I'll give them some time.

A few days later, Leah invites me to her house and of course I go.

„What's the matter?", I ask her after we took our coffee outside on her patio. I slightly sit on her table, while she takes a seat on a chair.
She seems troubled.

„Leah...?"
She looks down, then up into my eyes again.
„I.. we.. can't come to your wedding.", she says quietly.

I'm shocked. It's important for me to have her there.
„What?", I ask and put my cup on the table.
„We.. Sophia, she's... she'll be going to college soon and she needs help and.. we wanna be there and spend time with her, before she leaves.."

It sounds like a lame excuse. I'm hurt, but also mad.
„It's just two days...?", I reply in total disbelief.

Leah looks down again.
„I know, but..."
„Leah don't do this. Don't lie. Be honest with me at least. You're not canceling because of Sophia. There's another reason behind it."

Leah looks away. She can't even look me in the eyes.

„This is important to me...", I say with a trembling voice, but she stays quiet.
It's silent between us.

„You don't like him.", I state after a while. This has gotta be the reason. I can't think of anything else.
Leah frowns but keeps looking away from me.
„I don't think he's right for you.", she quietly says.

My heart feels tight. I get up and look down on her.
„Why?", I ask.
She opens her mouth but she's clearly lost for words.
„I love him. More than anything else. I've never been this happy.", my voice cracks but I empathize every word with heavy weight.

„Leah, please say something.", I beg her. I hate fighting and this is so important to me.

I give her time but she gives me nothing and as much as I'm holding back my tears, I can't stop one or two from rolling down my cheeks.

„Okay..", I whisper and walk out. I'm confused and deeply hurt by how she acted. She can't even be honest with me.