A Friendship Lost

36 - Lost

Ben's POV

When I get home I find Jennifer in the kitchen, baking cookies.
„Hi babe.", I say and peck her lips. I'm quick to notice that something isn't right and the cookies seem rather like a distraction for her than something she's enjoying. She seems lost in her task.

I sit at the counter and watch her, I don't want to interrupt her. When she puts another tray in the oven, I speak to her.

„Come here.", I say. She looks up at me and comes over. Her eyes carry a sadness I find hard to take. She stands in front of me, her facial expression betrays her. I pull her into my arms and surround her with a warm embrace. I can feel her relax as she sighs audibly.

„What's wrong?" I put my palm on the back of her head and softly caress her.
She turns her head so that her face is buried into my neck now.
„Leah's not coming." Her lips touch my neck as she's speaking.
„To our wedding?"
Jennifer nods softly.

„Oh... Why can't she?"
Jennifer shrugs her shoulders.
„She didn't tell you why?"
„Not really. She said she wants to spend time with Sophia before she's off to college."
„That sounds like an excuse."

Jennifer inhales, then exhales deeply.
„Did you argue?"
„A little.."
She breaks free from the hug and wipes a tear off her cheek.
„I'm okay.", she softly says but she's not very believable.
„No you're not."

Jenn purses her lips and shrugs her shoulders.
„There's nothing I can do, right?", she says in a whispery and broken tone.

Leah's POV

„I applaud your decision of not going.", Angelo says and puts his hand on my shoulder, squeezing it gently.
„You put family first.", he continues.
Then he leaves the living room after giving me a quick kiss on top of my head.

And, although he's not admitting it, even though he says he's okay with Jenn again, he seems fine with avoiding her. He must be happy about my decision.

Little does he know. And little do I know of what I'm actually doing. I hurt her and I'm deeply sorry I did. It just seems like there's no way out. I can't watch her get married. Will she forgive me, will I lose her forever? What if it would be best if I just suck it the fuck up and live through these two days?

I can't. I can't.
Too high the risk that it comes bubbling out of me.
,Don't marry him, I love you.' I scoff at my thoughts.

I let my head sink into my palms. Then my phone buzzes, it's Jenn.

„Great..", I mutter to myself before I roll my eyes and pick up.

„Hey...", I say.
„Hi.. How are you?"
„I'm okay. You?"
„I'm not."

I sigh..
„I hate when we're fighting Lee."
„Me too."
„Will you tell me what's wrong?"
„Nothing's wrong."

„Not true."
„It is."
„Leah..."
„Jennifer..."

Jennifer exhales audibly.
„Come on.. I can't believe you're gonna miss the wedding because of Sophia.. or because you don't like Ben.. you like me, don't you? Come because I want you there... Come because I love you and I need you there... Please."

A whimper escapes my mouth, I hope she didn't hear.

„I can't."
„Is it because of Angelo? Doesn't he want you to come?"
„Stop, please. It's because of Sophia, I already told you."

„And I don't believe you."
„Then don't. It won't change anything."
„Fine..."
„Fine."

„You can't say I didn't try, right?", her voice cracks a little.
„Jennifer, I..."
„Bye Leah.", she whispers and hangs up.