STRAWBERRIES & CIGARETTES - bottom namjoon oneshots. ✓

two

The street lights illuminated near the streets as the chill breeze of the wind wafted the dried leaves over the pavement. The cars were conveying on the road at a shallow pace as namjoon stared at the enchanting view of Seoul from the building's large window. It was almost 3am when he finished recording the final verse for their upcoming album leaving him with only a few editing works that didn't eat most of his time nor energy.

He was thankful for having such members who always took care of each other no matter what. Namjoon was proud of being a bangtan member, there was no denial in it. He'd do it all over again as long as they'd get to be together by the end of the process. Heck, he'd even burn himself to ashes and melt like an ignitable wick for them, anytime. Maybe, he wouldn't admit it out loud in front of them but deep inside all of them knew that they were meant for each other. It was a faith bound, a seal.

But right now namjoon wished that he had maintained his relationship with the member as it was and had not sprouted unwanted vague feelings that remained frozen by the edge of his heart. Seokjin was someone he'd let himself cross the boundaries with, it was just two kisses he'd tell himself sometimes. Then it'd alarm him back, it was two kisses. It was a slow pain that was conquering him, making it hard for him to act normal around seokjin without feeling the urge to question seokjin.

'Why' he wanted to ask, 'what went wrong, was it ever real? Why'd you do that?' he wanted to demand and query seokjin yet he's only left with limited words whenever he sees seokjin. Seokjin too, proceeded to pretend like nothing happened between them. Namjoon understood seokjin's premis like a chique. Seokjin was indirectly asking namjoon to not bring it up, seokjin wanted it to be a forever secret. Not namjoon tho.

Barring, he knew that trying to corner and query seokjin with his deepest thoughts would only result in breakage or misery. Or even an untold heartbreak that would haunt him for years, the last thing he wanted was the members to find out and decide that it'd be better if they part ways. Namjoon knew it wouldn't happen, god he wouldn't let it happen but he also knew that the members loved him just as much and if they knew that namjoon was hurting, they'd do anything to make the hurt to stop.

Even if it meant a forever parting.

Namjoon walked out of his studio with the plastic cup that was left with a little bit of cold coffee that seemed musty with new foam formed over it. He dumped the leftover into the sink and threw the plastic cup into the recycle bin as he stared at his watch, it was still too early to book a cab. It'd probably take an entire hour for him to successfully get into his cab since it was not the usual working hours for the cab drivers in Seoul.

It was the time when people in Seoul would be in their pleasant sleep. Meddling it felt like a crime, he knew if he, THE kim namjoon booked a cab in front of the Hybe building cars would be lining up to drive him to his desired place but the kim namjoon was also the namjoon who preferred silence over exaggeration/fame/power. So he did what he usually does during the days where he ends up at the HYBE till 4am in the morning, he chose to call his yoongi hyung.

It only took two rings before yoongi's groggy voice was on the phone, "hyung." namjoon whispered quietly and softly and he knows that yoongi knew what he had to do. It was their thing, to demand on each other no matter what. "Stay inside." yoongi sounded sleepy but namjoon could tell yoongi was already getting up, "it's cold. Do you have your jacket?"

If subtle love was a person, namjoon would call the person yoongi.

"Mhm. i do." he whispered feeling a little bit guilty, usually he slept over at his office. That was until yoongi found out about namjoon's schedule and reprimanded namjoon to call him whenever namjoon was stuck at work till midnight and chose to go home late.