Lost Star~Ateez OT8

Cherry Blossom Lips

Blue Eyes, Heartbreak Eyes

Nyx POV
I started laughing as soon as we peeled away, Felix laughing with me. And both of our phones started ringing at the same time. I looked at my screen and obviously couldn’t tell who was calling me and quickly declined and then turned my phone to do not disturb mode. Him on the other hand, was getting a phone call from Chan which he had to answer
*Hey Chan what’s up?* But his phone was loud enough that I could hear Chan talking too
*What do you mean what’s up. Where the fuck did you two go. And why did you just run off like that*
*Oh well we left, and we ran off like that because she wanted to*
*Felix don’t be a smartass with me, this is serious*
*Chan I’m not being a smartass. Do you understand that there was a chance she wouldn’t have even talked to me. That I’m lucky she let me pull her aside to talk. She couldve just went inside and said nothing. Shes trusting me here and I’m not about to fuck that up*
*Okay yeah you’re right. I get it. When are you guys coming back*
*I’m not sure yet. I’m taking her out to try and cheer her up. If she’s okay with it I’ll send you and only you our location just so you know where we are*
*Okay sounds good. Keep me in the loop, that’s an order Felix*
He hung up. And looked over at me apologetic
*Don’t worry Felix. I know he’s your leader. No need to worry, and I’m fine if you do send him our location when we get there. Just tell him they better not show up*
*No problem I’ll text him right now, so did you want to tell me about what else has been happening since you’ve been here? I see you have some wicked piercings and a tattoo, and your hair color looks so good on you*
I couldn’t help but giggle and told him about everything that I’ve been doing. Working at the café, how I have three tattoos now and a whole new wardrobe that doesn’t even look like me, well that was the point. And that I wear blue colored contacts now. We pulled up in front of this cute looking dessert place, paid the taxi driver and stepped out. Just standing in front of the building before going inside. Ordered our desserts and went to sit down, they said they would bring us our order when it was ready
*Also I’m not really sure what I should be calling you right now. Which do you prefer?*
*Honestly I think I prefer Nyx now, it’s the name I’ve chosen when I created my new identity and I’m definitely not the same person I was. Before I never would’ve said anything like that to Callie or the guys. I would’ve let them smother me in affection and told them everything was going to be okay. But I just can’t anymore. I’m so sick of it. I want to just take care of myself and not have to hide from anyone anymore. I want to learn how to fight, I want to learn how to use weapons, I want to learn it all*
*So bottom line is you want to be part of the mafia too*
*Yeah I guess you could say that. I’m just tired of feeling weak*
*Well Nyx, you’re the farthest thing from weak. You’re the strongest girl I’ve met. And I’ll train you myself if that’s what you want*
*That is if I decide to go back with you guys to Korea, I’m still not sure what I want to do yet. I’m still so lost and heartbroken. Its always been so hard for me to let others in and all that’s happened is getting hurt by everyone. I don’t know if I have the strength to do it again. I’m tired of giving so many chances for the same result you know?*
*Well you don’t have to worry about it just yet. Let’s just sit here and try to enjoy your birthday and wait for our desserts to get here. And hope we don’t get sick from how much we ordered*
We both started laughing together thinking about our order when the waitress came over with this huge tray placing two strawberry sundaes, two chocolate milkshakes, two hot fudge brownies with ice cream and two pieces of blackberry pie, both of us looking at each other and squealing in delight as we dug in.
I felt better emotionally after I finished stuffing my face.
“Okay okay. I’ll hear what they have to say and then I’ll make my decision. You can tell Chan they can come to us*
*Are you sure? It could get heated again*
*Yeah Felix I’m sure. I’d rather just get this over with so I can move on with myself*
*Okay I’ll let him know*
I thanked him and said I’d just be a minute. I was just going to the bathroom to check my makeup. He nodded at me and leaned back, he looked a little sick. He probably ate too much too, too much sugar
I stood in front of the bathroom mirror and took out my spare eyeliner from my purse to touch up my makeup and reapplied some lipstick. This is as good as it’s going to get now. Time to face the music
Walking back out of the bathroom they were already here. This place was already a little small to begin with, and they were sitting in different tables scattered around the restaurant making it look full.
I took a deep breath and walked back over to Felix. He nodded his head at me in reassurance as Chan sat down beside him.
*Chan I’m sorry. I have no hard feelings against you and your members. And I’m sorry for making you worry about me, but I have no regrets about leaving*
*Look Rhea, you don’t have anything to worry about either. We just want to make sure that you’re safe, you’re still our sister after all* I just looked at him with a half disappointed expression on my face. And I think he could tell why
*Oh I’m sorry, Nyx? It’s Nyx now right?
*Yeah. I think it’s better. I’m a new woman now. And Nyx is the name I chose for my new identity when I landed here. Thanks Chan. I appreciate it*
Both Chan and Felix got up from their seats and went to go sit with their members. Hongjoong and Yeosang sat down next. And I just looked at them.
*No. I’m okay with hearing you out. But the only way I’ll talk to you is if this is one on one. No more group effort of trying to persuade me. I’m not doing that again*
They both nodded and Yeosang stood back up and went to sit with Mingi and San.
*Rhea*
*No. It’s Nyx now*
*Okay I’m sorry. Nyx. I’m sorry. I’m so deeply sorry for everything that’s happened. You’re not a burden, you mean the absolute fucking world to me, you’re all I think about. I haven’t been able to eat or sleep. I’ve spent all of my time trying to figure out how I was going to find you again. I know I hurt you. I know I tried to leave you. But I swear to you that I would never do that to you again. I always want you to be by my side. I want to hold you and take the sadness away from you. To protect you for the rest of my life. And I will do absolutely everything in my power for you to forgive me and trust me again. I want you to know what you mean to me Nyx, I got this for you*
He pulled out a small black box from his pants pocket and put it on the table in front of me and I just looked down at it and back at him seeing his eyes watering again. Saying he would let me think about it and he got up, Yeosang quickly taking his place. And he didn’t waste any time before he began talking
*I can’t possibly imagine everything that you’ve had to go through. And I am so ashamed of myself for not being able to protect you the way I should’ve been since we first met. But I know that actions say more then words do. And I’ve had this with me for a long time now. I can’t begin to tell you just how sorry I am, and I wish I could tell you just how much you mean to me. And ever since that first day I’ve felt so completely drawn to you in every way possible. I long to hold you in my arms, to feel your gentle touch, to look into your gorgeous brown eyes that make my heart flutter, you are the most gorgeous woman I’ve ever seen in my whole life. I’ll do anything to see you smile, to hear you laugh. I’ll do whatever I have to for you to come home with us. To give us another chance. It feels like my life began when I first met you and I don’t want to live my life without you* he slid a black box across the table in front of me, coming closer to me he leaned down and softly kissed my cheek before walking away
Honestly I don’t know how much more of this I can take. I feel so overwhelmed hearing them confess their feelings for me. It feels like my heart is no longer in my chest, it’s still shattered and broken. My eyes watering up again, six more and then Callie. Just get it over with