Lost Star~Ateez OT8

Lotus Flower Embrace

Baby You’re The Light In This Dark World

Nyx POV
I waited patiently and wondered who would be coming over next. I looked up with my eyes watering. My tears already falling and I wiped my eyes quickly. Yunho sat down across from me
*In my whole life I’ve always felt invisible and that no one would ever notice me. And I know it sounds crazy because I’m also an idol. But for the first time in my life, I felt noticed, I wasn’t invisible anymore because of you. The amount of happiness you’ve brought me is unexplainable, in the time we’ve known each other I’ve just wanted to take care of you and make you happy. I am so so sorry for everything that’s happened. I’m sorry I wasn’t there. I’m sorry that when I was there you got hurt anyway. I’m sorry I was such a dumbass and thought it was in your best interest to stay away from you and leave you. I’m sorry for everything. I’ll work for this ten times harder, to mend your heart, to mend you back to happiness again, to see that twinkle in your eyes again and see that smile I love so much. If you’ll give me the chance to. I promise you won’t regret it*
Looking at me with his puppy eyes that melt my heart. Wiping my eyes again and knowing that my makeup is probably all fucked up. He slid a red box in front of me, setting it beside the others. He got up and sat with the others. Mingi coming next
*Our house isn’t a home without you there. You’ve brought out this side of me I didn’t know I have. You make my heart beat faster when I feel your touch, my heart flutters just when you look at me. The regret I feel inside me from hurting you has only grown bigger everyday. And I spend my time thinking about the things I could do to make you smile, to cheer you up, things I could do to earn your forgiveness. I know you already have a lot to think about. But please. I hope you know that you’re my whole world, and I really hope that you’ll come home with us, just one more chance. I promise you won’t regret it* his lips pouty and his eyes began to water. He carefully placed a black box in line with the others. And switching places with San.
*I’ll go to the ends of the universe for you, I’d stop the tide for you, I’d pull every star in the sky for you if I could. Just one more chance to show you just what you mean to me. I want you to trust me again, I want to be yours. I’ll never give up trying to show you how much you mean to me. And just so you know, right here, right now and in this moment. I’ve fallen in love with you, and I’ll do anything to get you back* he put a little green box in front of me and switched places with Seonghwa. How much longer will I be able to hold out. My heart can’t take this
Just as he was about to start talking. I began to sob, and I got up and ran into the bathroom. I’m not strong enough for this. I don’t deserve these words from them. They could do far better then me and here they are still. Trying to win me back. God damn I need to pull myself together
I wiped my face and went back to the table. Feeling all eyes on me. I sat back down. Held up my hand
*I’m sorry. I don’t know how much more I can take. It’s okay if the rest of you just come say what you need to together. Seonghwa motioned for the others to come. Being joined by Jongho. I think they could see that I was crumbling and they just pulled red boxes from their pockets and placed it next to the others. Kissing my cheek before sitting down. Wooyoung came walking over. And I started to sob again
*You should have just told me I wasn’t what you wanted and saved me the trouble*
*I swear to you that’s not it. You’re everything I’ve been looking for. I’m such an absolute dumbass and it haunts me everyday that I did that to you. That I’ve spent all of my time trying to think of ways to make it up to you, for you to forgive me. I can’t begin to tell you how sorry I am. And that I promise to you with all that I am that I will never ever do that to you again. You’re the light in my life. I never want to lose you* he didn’t say anything else. Tears streaming down his face. He set a green box down in front of me and that was it. Eight little boxes lined up in front of me. This is so fucking unbearable and now Callie is walking over
*I’m sorry Nyx. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you before. I honestly thought I was doing it in your best interest. I thought I was protecting you. I know everything you’ve been through and it kills me how much you’ve suffered already. I didn’t want to see you heart broken again. I didn’t mean to fail you. I’ve only ever tried to protect you. And I’m sorry. You’re my sister. My only family. Won’t you please forgive me. I’m begging you* she started to cry
*You’ve always tried to protect me I know. But I’m also not as weak as you think I am. I deserve to know the truth about things especially about my life. You had no right to not tell me. You don’t get to decide that for me. I’m strong enough to take care of myself. I’ve made it this far already*
*You’re right. I’m sorry. I’ve just always wanted to make sure nothing bad ever happened to you or your heart of gold. I promise you that I will always always tell you everything no matter what*
*I need some time to think about this*
*Of course. Take all the time you need. I’ll just leave you be now* and she walked away.
My brain is overloaded in hearing their words. And I can’t think properly. What the fuck do I do now. With a shaky hand I grabbed the boxes and put them in my purse. Put my purse over my shoulder, stood up and walked out the door, I managed to make it to a bush by the beginning of the parking lot and just started hurling. Everything I’ve eaten today just came back up. Tears rushing down my face and my stomach fucking hurts. I felt a pair of hands on my back and tried to wave off whoever it was as I felt another round coming on. I threw up for another five minutes and then it finally stopped. I stood up properly again and saw Chan standing next to me
*God I’m sorry you had to see that. It’s fucking gross*
*Don’t apologize, it’s natural and happens to everyone. Are you getting sick from eating too much or from what just happened?*
*Honestly Chan I think it’s a mixture of both and I don’t know what to do. I’m trying to tread lightly here. But every part of me is screaming to go back with them and to be held by them. But what if they hurt me again*
*Nyx honestly. They’ve been doing everything they can since you’ve been gone. I had to tell Hongjoong to stop calling me every five minutes because he’s been so panicked and frantic trying to find you. If you haven’t been able to tell yet. I’ll tell you now. Those guys, they’re in love with you. They love you so much. I can see it all in them. There’s a chance they could hurt you again. There’s a chance Callie could hurt you again. There’s a chance you could hurt them too. We never know what’s going to happen all we can do is just hope for the best. Hope it works out. Hope that we won’t get hurt again. Please just don’t run away from us. If you need me to kick any one of their asses obviously besides Callie’s. I will. Just give me the word and I’ll be there*
I started laughing hearing him say that about kicking their asses. It made me feel better. And in reality. At some point or another one of us is going to end up hurting each other again. It’s inevitable. Friendships and relationships are messy. But they’re in love with me. They’re all actually in love with me. I’m having a hard time wrapping my head around it. I thanked Chan and took his hand going back inside. Where they all stood in response waiting for me to say something
*Okay. I think I’ve made my decision*
The sound of glass breaking. Pain shooting through my body. My clothes began to feel soaked. They all lunged forward to me. I fell to the ground and saw blood dripping on the floor, black spots in my vision. Deep sleep