Lost Star~Ateez OT8

No, I Can't

This Was Never Meant To Happen

Nyx POV

Jonghos hands were moving further up my legs and going on to my hips pulling me forward making me wince, so he was standing in between my legs, his hand going into my hair and pulling my head back exposing my neck for him, he started kissing my neck, going over Yunhos teeth marks. I was starting to get weak all over again my breathing getting heavy
*Baby will you let me take you out on a date tonight?*
*Yes of course, I’d love to. What should I wear?*
*A dress definitely, you’re going to love it*
He pulled my face down planting his lips on mine giving me a deep passionate kiss before parting ways and he smiled at me, pulling me closer he picked me up in his arms and brought us into the living room with the rest of the guys, placing me down on the couch and sitting beside me. We started eating breakfast.
It was really good, Yunho is an amazing cook, Mingi and San cleaning up the dishes and I can hear them in the kitchen actually washing the dishes, Wooyoung and Seonghwa went off saying something about how it’s cleaning day, since we’re all going to be leaving soon and going on the next world tour. I tried to get up so I could help them with cleaning but I can only just start to feel my legs again after my night with Yunho and I started blushing.
*Princess are you okay?* - Yunho
He had a big smirk on his face and winked at me
*Yes Yunho, I’m good, I was just thinking I should get up and help with cleaning*
*Nope. I don’t think so, you’re going to stay here and relax angel, were taking care of you don’t forget* - Jongho
He cupped my face kissing me before he went off to help the rest of the guys. Leaving me in here with Hongjoong, Yeosang and Yunho when there was a knocking on the door making me jump lightly
Yunho got up to go answer the door and Yeosang came and sat beside me pulling me up into his lip and nuzzling his face into my neck
A lot of voices were coming from the front door, exciting tones in their voices and they all came booming into the living room. It’s callie and the others!
*Callie babe! Come sit down next to me!*
She laughed at me and was holding hands with Seungmin both coming over and sitting down beside me and Yeosang
*I didn’t think I was going to see you again for a couple days! I’m so happy you’re here!*
*Chan said that you guys all have some training and planning to do before the tour starts, so here we are*
I looked at Hongjoong and he smiled at me
*Does this mean I get to do training today too?*
He was about to answer when Chan cut him off
*Nyx you’re already such a natural but I can keep training you with weapons if you want?*
*No no, it’s fine. Me and Yeosang will be working with her today, with her hands and weapons* - Hongjoong
*Alright no worries. Were just excited to train with you guys* - Chan
*Sounds good man. We’ll do some training and then around lunchtime we’ll sit down and go over the plan* - Hongjoong
I looked away from Hongjoong and back at Callie seeing her smile on her face
*Nyx babe do you think it’s a good idea for you to get involved in this? Wouldn’t it be better if you just let the guys handle this?* - Callie
*You can’t change my mind Callie. No one can. I’ve already made it clear that this is something I need to do for myself. I will take Michael down myself, and I will take back my worth* my body tensed up and Yeosang started giving my light kisses on my cheek.
*Okay. I just don’t want you to get hurt* - Callie
*Callie. Nothing is going to stop me. I’ve been beaten down my whole life by countless people. I will take my revenge. And even if I change my mind, I’ll feel better knowing I have self defense training in case something were to ever happen to me again*
She nodded at me with sad eyes and I turned my attention back to Yeosang and lowered my head down into his shoulder trying to control my breathing. But I can feel myself start to spiral. I had a strong grip on his left shoulder with my hand, my body starting to tremble. He knew what was happening to me and he rubbed his hand up and down my back. But the images are coming into my head already. How many times I got passed around and taken advantage of, flashing back into my head and I can feel my eyes watering up fast with the tears coming down on his shirt.
Maybe I should just let the guys handle this. I’m so fucked up from everything I’ve been through.
*Yeosang please* I whispered to him and not a second later he had me in his arms and brought us into his room and laid us down on the bed, he pushed my head into his chest and just held me as I suffered through another flashback
*Please! Please!* I can’t make it stop. I hate this more then anything. The things I want to forget more then anything constantly and consistently flash in my head on repeat
*I’m here sweetheart, I’m right here, and I’m not going anywhere, I love you. I love you so much sweetheart, you’re my whole world*
He held me a little tighter as I started shaking harder and sobs coming from my chest.
*Yeosang I just want it to go away*
*I know sweetheart, I know*
He gave me gentle kisses and I slowly started to come out of it. This time I didn’t black out
My body finally calmed down and I stopped crying. I sniffled and looked at him
*I’m not going to participate with you guys taking him down. I can’t handle it. I can see that now. But I still want you to teach me how to defend myself. Please* a tear running down my face
He gently wiped it away and kissed me passionately
*Of course princess, it’s okay. Were here to take care of you*
I nodded to him and closed my eyes putting my face back in his chest taking in his scent and wishing I could cut my brain out of my head.
I sat up and so did he. Just looking at me and waiting
*Can I wear one of your sweaters please babe?*
He kissed my forehead and went to his closet grabbing one of his sweaters and putting it on me, it made me feel so much better. He turned around and kneeled on the ground motioning for me to get on his back and I giggled. I tried my hardest to get on his back, my legs still wobbly from last night.. and this morning. But I managed and got on his back, he adjusted me so I wouldn’t fall and I had my chin resting on his shoulder giving him a kiss on the cheek every now and then as he brought us into my room. Setting me down on the bed, he walked over to my dresser and saw all of my jewelry they had all  given me. Grabbing it and coming back over to me he put it all back on me starting with the ring he gave me. My face went red and I grabbed his face pulling him into a kiss, moving my hands to the back of his neck and he moved forward so he was hovering on top of my body, our lips still connected, he lowered the bottom half of his body against mine in between my legs and started slowly grinding himself into me
~knock, knock~