Lost Star~Ateez OT8

How Could You Do This

Flatline Desire

Callie POV
Morning already? My eyes are puffy still and it feels like my heart has been ripped from my chest. How many times have I heard him say I love you more then anything, you’re the only one I want to be with, I’m so happy to have you in my life
What a load of absolute shit. And then I find out he has feelings for my best friend. Were in a relationship. She’s in a relationship. How long has this even been going on for? I’m too afraid to ask him for details about it. I can’t bring myself to even look at him right now and I’ve just been mainly hiding out in Chans room. He said he was going to take care of me, well they all did. That they were going to do what they can to try and lift my spirits up again. To bring a smile to my face, to make me laugh but right now I just want to stay in bed and do nothing. Because I just feel like complete shit.
Nyx has been messaging me telling me she’s here for me and if I want to hang out just let her know. I’d ask her to come over here and just lay in bed with me. But because of him, she can’t. And her guys wouldn’t be happy with it either. I just don’t have the energy to drag myself out of bed to get ready and go over there and hang out. It takes everything in my just to get up and use the bathroom. The guys bring me food and drinks, but even then, I’ve barely been eating. I’ve never felt so betrayed and hurt. What was the point of him whispering those things into my ear every time I was with him, every night I slept in his bed with him, when he was probably thinking about her.
I don’t even know what to do anymore. And I’m not sure if I care to do anything about it anyway. There’s no telling how long it’s going to hurt for. How long my heart will be broken. How many more minutes I’ll spend crying. I wish I could just leave here and never look back. But I still want to be with the other seven, I’ve never been this happy in my life, or was until it all came crashing down…because of him

Nyx POV

Cuddled up in Mingis arms feels like a dream come true. I feel so tiny in his arms. He’s spooning me right now and I sat up and he opened his eyes looking at me confused and sleepy. I pushed him so he was on his back and laid down with my body fully on top of him and his arms going around my body tightly.
I’m not ready to get out of bed yet. I think I’m going to be doing some training with the guys today but I don’t know. Im not sure what’s going to happen anymore. All I know for sure is that I will be taking my revenge. Maybe I should get up and go for a run, I need to start building up my muscle and gain more weight. My appetite is still completely fucked up and it feels as though I’ve lost more weight. I’m still such a fucking mess, ptsd flashbacks, anxiety and depression.
They’re going to be going on tour again soon. Then what am I going to do. I don’t want to talk about what I’ve gone through, although I should. I should be learning how to cope. I should be trying to forgive myself. I should be doing more for the guys but I haven’t. I’m slipping further into my hole of depression and I can’t stop.
One step at a time. Breathe
I snuggled myself more into Mingi and focused on him. My mind keeps wandering and I want to do more training, Chan said I was a natural but would my guys really train me. Whats their plan? They said they were going to take Michael down but I haven’t heard very much about it … and aren’t they going on tour again soon? My brain feels like a pile of mush because I’m having a hard time remembering now. I’ll have to talk to them about it later I guess.
My phone started vibrating on the nightstand. I got off of Mingi and his eyes opened again, such a light sleeper. I kissed his forehead and caressed the side of his face and saw his eyes closing again. Grabbed my phone and went down to the living room
The screen lit up again as soon as I sat down on the couch
-hello-?-
-Nyx-
-hey Callie what’s up, are you okay?-
-no I’m not okay, this all fucking sucks and I don’t want to be here right now-
-is it okay if I come over-
-yeah of course-
-im sorry I know it’s so early-
-no don’t worry about it, just come over okay-
-okay, thanks babe. I’ll see you soon-
-see you soon-
Click
Nine in the morning the guys will probably wake up soon. And if Callie is coming over I bet she hasn’t eaten yet. I’m gonna change first. I went into Sans room and grabbed one of his shirts from his closet quietly and went to my room and pulled out a pair of booty shorts, and put on my blue lace bra with black panties. Brushed my hair and teeth and threw my hair into a messy bun and went into the kitchen.
It's nice living with the guys, there’s always a shit load of food in the house. I pulled out everything to make a big breakfast, pancakes, bacon, eggs, french toast and sausage and of course a massive pot of coffee. I have no idea if Chan and the guys are coming too so I made a lot of food. Half an hour must’ve gone by and my babies started waking up and I heard them coming into the kitchen with sleepy eyes and cute smiles on their faces.
*Good morning babies*
An assortment of good mornings and they all came and gave me a small kiss and a hug. My phone vibrated and Jongho picked it up
*Callies here*
*Thanks babe. Hope you guys don’t mind. She’s having a really hard time and asked to come over*
*It’s not a problem angel eyes, don’t worry* - Seonghwa
I kissed him and went to the front door and opened it and she hugged me right away, her body shaking and I can tell that she’s crying. I put my hand on her head and held her, closing my eyes, telling her that I’m here and it’s going to be okay
I waited until she pulled away from me first, and took her hand and led her inside so she could take her shoes off, I didn’t look to see who came with her, right now it didn’t matter to me. What matters is that she’s hurting and I’ll do what I can to make her feel better. I brought her into the kitchen and passed her a plate.
*No I’m not hungry right now*
I narrowed my eyes at her and just by looking at her I can see deep bags under her eyes, and she’s visibly thinner. 
*Callie, eat, I can tell by looking at you that you haven’t been*
She looked at me with sad eyes and nodded, I went to the fridge and pulled out the orange juice and poured us both a glass and left it out in case the guys wanted some too. I looked around the room and my babies had already served and they were looking at me with cautious expressions. And then I noticed Callie’s guys.
All of them except for Minho.
I guess that question is answered. I still don’t get it. I’m close with all of them and treat them like they’re my brother’s and then this comes crashing down breaking Callie’s heart.
Mingi told me in the car …. I haven’t thought about it since he said who it was. And I wasn’t going to ask her. I still can’t get over it.
*Hey guys, help yourself. I made enough for everyone so I hope you’re hungry*
They all gave me a smile and said thank you and started serving themselves breakfast and coffee and we went into the living room, Callie sitting down beside me and Jongho on the other side of me.
We finished eating and Chan, Han, Hyunjin, Seungmin, Hongjoong, Seonghwa, Wooyoung and Mingi went off into the dining room and started discussing plans about hunting Michael down first while we’re on tour. I think they figured out that he’s hiding out somewhere in Japan. This next world tour is going to be long, Japan, China, Europe and the UK. It’s going to be very busy these upcoming months.
The rest of us stayed in the living room and watched movies and ate ice cream. Jongho and Yeosang got a bunch of blankets and pillows and made a huge bed on the floor so we could all chill out and lay down if we wanted. Callie was leaning against me and I had my arm around her, we let her put on whatever she wanted and watched movies for hours. The guys switched out after awhile and got filled in about the details with Chan and Hongjoong.
Hyunjin and Seonghwa gave us some details. The world tour is a joint tour between Ateez and Stray Kids. They planned it that way so we could begin the hunt. Training is going to be kicking in with all of them including me, I told them I needed to do this. I start training tomorrow with San and Yunho. They have to build up their weapons and ammo as well. This is going to be so intense.
I have no idea how they do it. Touring, practicing, writing new music, learning new choreography, hunting down mafias and helping their allies on missions as well.
We mustve watched at least three movies before Callie said she wanted to get up and do something. I asked her if she wanted to go do some baking and she got super excited and so did Felix. I stood up and grabbed both of their hands and brought them into the kitchen where we baked two cakes, a couple batches of cookies and brownies. It was fun, we had a bit of a flour fight and by the time we were done putting everything in the over we all had flour in our hair and clothes.
I looked over and saw her giving Felix a look and he nodded to her and walked out of the kitchen shaking his hair around to try and get the flour out.
She sat down on the counter and her eyes were already watering up
*Nyx. How did you forgive Wooyoung and move on. Because I don’t know what I should do right now. Please tell me what to do* tears pouring down her cheeks
*Awe babe. It took me a long time to forgive him, that day I came over early when Hongjoong and Yeosang came and picked me up. The reason I went over there is because I had nightmares about seeing Woo kissing that girl. That was part of it anyway. I couldn’t look at him or talk to him for the longest time. But it didn’t stop him from trying to earn back my trust and forgiveness. And he’s still actively trying to make it up to me even now, he’s bought me an endless amount of flowers and treats. Bringing me breakfast in bed, surprising me with new clothes he thinks ill like. And an endless amount of reassurance and affection. And eventually I woke up one day and I could breathe again, my heart didn’t hurt as much*
*Do you think I should let Minho make it up to me? He’s been trying to apologize to me already but I turn him away and tell the guys to not let him see me. I can’t look at him. Nyx he told me he loves me. That he’s in love with me. That he only wants me, the amount of nights I’ve slept beside him in his bed and he just held me. And finding out he has or had feelings for you. He says he doesn’t feel that way for you anymore. But it’s still breaking my heart*
*Whatever it is you need to do babe. If you need more space from him that’s okay, if you want to talk to him about it that’s okay too. I’ve seen the way he is with you, I’ve seen the way he looks at you. He looks at you like you’re the only one in the world. I know it hurts. I know he fucked up and he’s stupid for it. I’m not making excuses for him I’m just telling you what I’ve observed. It’s okay to let him make it up to you. I can see it in your eyes that it’s what you want*
*Yeah you’re right. I do want to work it out with him and move on. I’m tired of laying in bed crying over it. I’m stronger then this. Is it okay if I tell him to come over here? Will your guys be okay with it?*
*Just wait here and I’ll go get Hongjoong okay*
She nodded and wiped the tears from her eyes. I walked from the kitchen to the living room doorway and they all looked over at me and some of them laughed and made comments about me being covered in flour. I waved my hand at them in a knock it off motion and laughed too and looked at Hongjoong making eye contact with him and he understood. He got up and came over to me and I took his hand leading him into the kitchen to where Callie was
*Hey babe she wants to tell Minho to come over here so she can start working things out with him. Are you okay with that?*
He looked in my eyes and then at her seeing her eyes a little puffy and red from crying. Looked back at me and put his hand on my cheek
*Yes baby it’s fine. I just don’t want you being there alone. And I will be speaking with him when he gets here as well. That’s not up for negotiation*
He could tell I was about to protest it. But I can understand where he’s coming from and I looked at Callie and she was nodding her head as well. He kissed me and went back into the living room to join the rest of the guys
Callie took her phone out as the oven started going off so I went over and grabbed the oven mitts and started pulling everything out and heard her on the phone
*Minho, can you come over here please* her voice quivering and I can hear her trying to stifle the sobs in her throat
*One step at a time babe, I’m here for you through the whole thing* I reassured her and hugged her when she got off the phone. She only said the one thing and hung up.
He’s going to be here soon ….
*let’s put icing on the cake and brownies until he gets here okay. I know it’s still hot and the icing will probably get fucked up but who cares. We’ll still eat it anyway*
She laughed and got down from the counter while I went and pulled out a couple jars of icing.
One step at a time, just breathe