Lexi is broken.
And what does that mean? It means that she needs someone to heal her heart. Put the pieces back together.
That can't be Finn though, right? Because he is broken as well. Almost at the same places as her.
But two broken hearts creat...
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I wish I never grew up.
Why? Because as we grew up, our world began to slowly fall apart. Then came all the problems that changed us.
Our parents stopped hiding their problems. Or maybe they never even hid them. We were just so in our heads that we didn't even notice.
But my mom always tried. She always tried to make my life better.
She tried to hide the things my father did to her and protected me from him as much as she could.
She didn't care what he did to her as long as he didn't hit me.
She tried to protect me from a broken world and I can never thank her enough for that.
But as she got older, it became harder for her to hide it.
When we were in the car she was talking to herself and I just sat there not knowing what to say.
She said things that were like a dagger to my heart. And I didn't know what to do to make it stop.
Sometimes we don't see how a person changes when we spend all our time with them, but I saw it.
This time I saw it.
I noticed how every day is more and more exhausting for her.
Wake up, make breakfast, go to work, come back, clean the house, prepare dinner and lunch for the next day, put our father who was unable to walk himself to bed, and go to sleep on the couch because she couldn't breathe the air in the bedroom.
And then again. And again, and again.
After a while, the problems she had on her shoulders began to fall on mine as well.
And then I lost her.
Well...a part of her anyway.
Each of us has something in life that destroys us.
Whether it's alcohol or cigarettes.
People who make us hate every single thing about ourselves.
Parents, friends, or other family.
Relationships that we try to save even when they cannot be saved.
We can starve ourselves for a figure or destroy our bodies with scars just to feel something.
Trying to impress others by doing something we don't want to do. To be someone we are not.
Hiding our very selves because we are not sure that others will like us.
Arguing with those we care about because we can no longer control our emotions.
There are three ways people deal with it.
They can face it all and start over. Try to live life for themselves and not others. To love everything about themselves, even if others don't like it.
However, most don't solve it that way. That's the second way. They stay quiet and let it consume them. Those people are just surviving and not living their life.
