Chapter 25: Past

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I looked at Lexi, her eyes filled with remorse

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I looked at Lexi, her eyes filled with remorse. She blames herself for not seeing that I wasn't okay.

"I'm so sorry." She repeated with a trembling voice. "I should've known. I should've been there. And maybe if I'd noticed sooner, you wouldn't be..." You looked me over from head to toe. "How could I be so blind?"

"It's not your fault." It's only mine.

I know I'm not okay. I know I'm messed up. Every part of my head is screaming until it's unbearable. And the only way to soothe them is to replace that pain with physical pain. And it worked. Every time.

Well, at least until I met her. My sunshine.

When I'm with her, everything else disappears. Everything else seems unimportant. All the worries of the world go away when she walks into the room and I don't know why. I don't know why her.

But I'm afraid of what will happen when she leaves me after this. And that will happen. She'll finally see how damaged I am and leave.

"Why, Finn?" She almost whispered.

"I don't know," I told the truth. "I can't help it. It's the only way I can quiet my head."

Her hands flew to her mouth before she covered her entire face, especially her eyes, and let out a shaky breath.

I didn't know where it would go from now on, what would happen. Will she leave? Is she going to leave me? If so, what will I do?

Lexi suddenly moved from her spot, hands still on her face, and started walking towards me. I didn't know if I should dodge her because she wanted to leave, but I stood like a pillar as she crashed into my chest and her arms wrapped around me.

"Please talk to me." She hugged me tightly as if she was afraid I would run away. "Whatever it is just...talk to me."

I was still looking at the place where she had been standing a moment ago, confused as to what was going on. My heart slowly crumbled with every step she took towards me, worried that she was leaving. But now? My heart beats in my chest like it never has before.

And my head is not quiet, but not loud either. it's...calm.

My arms found their way around Lexi and I hugged her back. I felt her relax immediately.

"Just talk Finn. I promise I will listen."

I heard those words over and over while we hugged, I will listen. She will listen. She won't yell at me and tell me that what I'm doing is wrong. That I'm ruining my life. She just wants to listen to me.

And precisely because of those words, I think I fell in love with her.

And precisely because of those words, I think I fell in love with her

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