You & I [Kier/Shane]

Chapter Forty - Kier

Kier's POV

I felt myself become swallowed up with regret the moment I'd left the house, tears dribbling down my cheeks at a rapid pace as I entered the taxi and informed the driver of Darren's address. For once, I didn't care for my appearance, my mind was solely taken by the thought of Shane and boiling hatred for myself. I'd ruined everything. He was my everything and I wouldn't be surprised if he lost hope in people altogether. I'd told him that things were okay, that he could trust me, that I'd help him get better. I'd done the opposite; things weren't okay, he'd lost that reason to trust me, I'd made him worse. I know it. Shane was vulnerable, made of glass, and this was quite possibly the worst thing I could have done.

Eventually, we parked up and I shuffled from the vehicle, paying the driver in silence before walking away without collecting my change. I couldn't bring myself to care, I'd already humiliated myself enough to spend another minute with them. While knocking on Darren's door I was still crying, holding my luggage in my hands with a tight grip, my knuckles whitening while low sobs left my quivering lips.

"Darren, open the fucking door!" I cried out loudly, not noticing the lack of a car in the driveway while beginning to frantically knock on the door. Releasing small whines I continued to knock for another few minutes, shouting abuse at the door before eventually giving up and deciding to sit down at the front step, my head dropping onto my knees while my arms curled around the entirety of my legs. Taking a deep breath I brought out my phone, wiping my watery eyes before sending Darren a text;

You: Where the fuck are you?

It was only a few minutes before he responded.

Darren: Out, why? Aren't you with Shane?

The sight of Shane's name caused a small whine to be released from my mouth, a few more tears falling.

You: Just get back here; It's freezing.

Darren didn't respond after that, which I hoped was because he was on his way back home to me. Leaning the back of my head against his front door I released a shaky sigh, wiping my eyes once more in hopes of ridding the pain that pulsed in my chest. No matter what I did I couldn't shake away the guilt, and I know the fact I was returning to Darren wouldn't help. Turning my mobile phone around in my hands I unlocked the screen, returning to my text messages and beginning a new one.

You: I know I'm probably the last person you wanted to hear from right now, but i just wanted to apologise again. I'd hate to go back home when we're on bad terms; I just want us to stay in contact, you know? as friends maybe?

It was cliche, yes, and horrifically optimistic, but I honestly couldn't cope with returning home with the idea of Shane never wanting to speak to me again. It was as if my entire world revolved around the blond. The response however, hurt way more than leaving felt previously;

Drew: Don't you think you've done enough damage for one day? Why can't you just leave him alone and let him heal?! He was coping a lot better after you left but now you've fucked it all up again!! Just get lost.

I probably should have expected Shane to have been near Drew at the time he received the message, but I still couldn't bring myself to back down now; not after Drew felt the need to respond rather than the person the message was sent to.

You: I'm sorry, but I'm almost certain I didn't send it to you. This is solely between Shane and I.

Drew was a surprisingly quick at texting, meaning the space between our anger-filled texts were kept short.

Drew: It became my business when you hurt him. I mean it, Kier, get lost and leave him alone now.

You: I will when Shane tells me that for himself.

There was no response after that, which admittedly unnerved me as to what Drew could be telling Shane right now. However, I instantly pushed it out of my mind when a car pulled up into the driveway to my right, a recognisable male leaving the vehicle moments later.

"About time!" I cried out, jumping up from my place on the ground and sped into his arms, engulfing him in a hug.

"This is new." Darren grinned, returning the hug after lifting his sunglasses to rest on the top of his head. "What are you doing around here anyway?" He asked after a short moment of embraced silence, his hand lowering to stroke across my lower back comfortingly.

"Shane and I broke up..." I mumbled softly, my breath shaky with threatening tears as he tightened his grip on my form.

"I'm sorry to hear about that," was his only response until he pulled back to lead me into his home, picking up my bags on his way while I continued to clutch onto him. "You deserve better." He eventually added once we'd completely broke away, moving into the kitchen while I trailed along behind him.

"There isn't anyone better." I mumbled glumly, not appreciating his attempts to comfort me by insulting him.

"Sure there is," He countered, voice light and happy as he grabbed a beer from his fridge. "Maybe one that leaves the house for starters?" He mockingly suggested, chuckling to himself.

"Shut up," I instantly snarled in response, a hard glare pointed in his direction. "You have no idea of the things he's been through."

Darren held a hand in the air in surrender, causing me to grown slightly as he took a large gulp of his drink. "Dude, chill..." He chuckled. "I didn't realise you were still so attached."

"I loved him," I murmured, moving to jump onto the counter nearest to him and sighing, my eyes falling to the floor for a moment. "but I didn't show him enough and now it's too late to do anything about it."

Looking back over at Darren I growled slightly at the amused expression on his face, his eyebrows raised while a small smile graced his lips.

"What?" I scowled, my arms crossing tight against my chest protectively.

"Nothing," He replied softly. "Just that we need to get you laid immediately."

I sighed, shaking my head and leaning back against the tiled wall. "I don't want some random guy; I want Shane back." Darren groaned slightly, moving over to me and settling between my legs, refusing to move away when I tried to push him back on occasion. "Stop being a fuckin' wimp," He told me sternly. "Shane hasn't got you tied down now; live a little!" I began to shake my head once more when my phone vibrated in my jean pocket, causing me to check it regardless of how close we were.

Shaney: leave me alone, Kier. Please. I'm sorry, but just go.

Suppressing more tears I locked my phone, burying my pain further down as I looked back towards Darren.

"Fine, let's go find someone willing." I mumbled, causing him to grin.