You & I [Kier/Shane]

Chapter Nineteen - Shane

Shane’s POV

I was so excited. I was finally going to see Kier again tomorrow. Although, he’d only been away for a short period of time, I still found myself missing him terribly. I found myself connecting to Kier in a way that I didn’t with anyone else in the house; Of course I related to Drew in a certain way, he was my best friend, but with Kier it was different. He understood me, accepted me, and didn’t question my actions in a way that Drew, Laurence, and Luke would. It wasn’t harsh; it was a soft little look or a small question before he’d drop it. However, when we first met, there were multiple questions and almost peer pressure to make me leave the house and go to that concert he was adamant about, but then he dropped it. I had no idea what Drew had said to him, but it seemed to work. I just hope it wasn’t too rude or cruel, enough to make him cautious and afraid of what he said around me. I simply hope he’s as comfortable around me as I am around him.

After finding out that Kier will be returning the next day I returned to my room, sitting myself at my desk and deciding to do something nice for the red head; draw him something nice. Opening my large sketchpad I turned to a fresh page and picked up my pencil, releasing a deep breath as I thought over what I can draw him. It couldn’t be something ‘over the top’, I wouldn’t want him to think too much into it, or something that he’d find stupid or silly. While I sat around pondering ideas I heard a sharp knock at my door, causing me to sigh and scribble my current ideas into the corner of the page before turning to the door, announcing calmly to the knocker to enter.

“Hey, Shane,” Drew called as he entered, causing me to smile at the sight of my friend and welcome him into the room and gesture for him to have a seat on my make bed. “Thanks.” He replied to my silent words, sitting himself down cross-legged and running his hands through his hair. “What are you up to?”

“I’m trying to think of something to draw for Kier,” I admitted, thankful for the dark lighting so Drew wouldn’t see my drastically heating cheeks at my own idea. “You know, as a kind of welcoming present or something.”

“Yeah,” Drew merely replied, voice monotonous as he dragged out the syllable. “About that… why are you going with Laurence tomorrow?”

“What do you mean?” I asked gently, my head tilting to the side like a confused puppy.

“Exactly what I said before.” Drew replied, his voice with a little more emotion than previously, but it still was a euphonious sound. “Why?”
“I want to.” I replied, voice muffled as I began to anxiously bite at my almost non-existent nails. “He’s my friend.”
“Your friend?!” Drew suddenly exclaimed, causing my form to jump in fright at the sudden outburst; it was so unnatural, Drew was hardly ever like this. “You hardly know him!”

“I-I do!” I cried out in reply, almost automatically. My own shaky voice surprised me; I’d never stuttered around Drew, he was usually the only one who made me feel safe and confident, but right now, he was scaring me. “W-We’ve been talking on S-Skype...”
“And since when have you had a Skype account?” He growled in response, appearing to ignore my unusual trembling voice in his presence. “You have no reason to own one; do you have any idea of the dangers of own one of those?!”
“Stop treating me like I’m a child!” I snapped, my eyes becoming glossy at the lack of support or praise I was receiving around my supposedly best friend. “I-I wanted to stay in contact with him! H-He comes to see me while you’re at work and we talk! H-He’s spoken to me more than you have while he was here...”

“Don’t turn this on me!” He spat, jumping from the bed to stand and glare in my direction, causing me to almost cower and curl in on myself. I hated confrontation such as this; I was never good at standing up for myself. “Who was the one who was there for you all throughout school?! Or when you were fucking thrown out of your own home?!”
“Stop!” I practically screamed, Drew’s words reopening wounds as I began to cry loudly in front of him.

“What about the time when you decided to quit college, Huh?! Who was there for you then?!” Drew continued.

I jumped up, my form shaking viciously in defeat but my fists curled in anger. “I-I said stop! T-They have nothing to do with this, w-why are you bringing it up?” I sobbed, unable to see the link between what Drew had done for me in the past and the fact that I wanted to go and welcome Kier from the plane.

“You think you know that man but you don’t,” Drew growled, his voice a little quieter now, and I saw his face soften slightly at the sight of my pained expression. “He’s different and I don’t want you mixing with people like him.”
“I-I’m not a child, would you believe.” I croaked, sniffling while desperately attempting to stop my tears. “A-And what do you mean ‘like him’? You don’t know him yourself.”

“I know his type.” Drew countered, holding his arms almost egotistically. “Those model guys are so pompous and self-righteous that they don’t care about anything other than themselves.”
“That’s not true!” I cried, hating the way my friend was talking about the man I was developing quite a strong admiration for. “He’s nothing like that; h-he cares… H-He was there when you were ignoring my cries, h-he held me...”
“It’s all an act.”

I whimpered, merely shaking my head more. I must have looked pathetic in front of him, unable to even protect Kier when he was being insulted, but at that moment I couldn’t bring myself to do anything other than stand and cry desperately for Drew to understand that he was wrong.

“Anyway,” Drew murmured, shaking his head as if he was shrugging away everything that had happened. “I still don’t think it’s a good idea for you to go.”

“B-But… K-Kier…” I stuttered out, gradually giving up on trying to plead my case.

“Look, Shane, Please.” Drew sighed, his voice much more sincere now. “You’re afraid of going out there and I won’t be there to help you, and you know as well as I do that Laurence won’t help either.”

I nodded, knowing it was for certain that I wouldn’t be able to get through the front door without my throat closing up and tears streaming down my cheeks, let alone make it to the airport. “I have to get over it at one point… why not start now?” I murmured, pushing away all negativity as I thought of Kier.

“I won’t be there to help you.”

“Come with me.”

Drew snorted, shaking his head. “No,” I heard his quiet mumble. “I don’t get along with him that much.”

“H-He’d appreciate you being there for me…” I countered, sniffling and wiping my tears on my sleeves. I nodded when I received only silence as a response, accepting defeat. “Fine… I won’t go… Now, please leave my room.”

He did as asked without a second thought, something I was very thankful for, and I moved over to my bed to fall onto it, forgetting all previous excitement of seeing Kier the next day. All it will be is disappointment for the both of us now; I’d ruined everything with my own lack of ‘backbone’. Something I’d heard way too many times before.