Strawberry & Cigarettes

Chapter 4 - Delulu

Xalianas pov —

I'm delusional to be more clear, I'm delulu, very much delulu. Being stuck in a marriage that you have no love for, makes your mind make up fake fantasy of characters to give you love that you never will get.

For example, I have this fake character in my head, the kind of man I wished I married. Once again, I'm human, I can't stop myself from wanting affection.

The delulu sometimes gets a bit crazy. I say this because, I'm having one of those delulu moments and I'm getting severe case of 'butterflies'

I'm fricken crazy.

Today Dora is on a special date with her guard which is mind fricken blowing. Im at work which is nothing new. I stare down at my phone. I had came here early as usual. I'm a bit tired today. When I came home last night Ayaan asked a billion questions but I gave him a honest answer that ain't true.

If that ways sense.

I basically dodged the questions. He's kinda smart surprisingly so he prolly didn't believe it but he didn't saw anything about it and told me to just sleep. I asked him what he wanted to talk about and he said it's too late to talk now.

I didn't really care and slept but I did feel his hands roaming on me last night. It was irritating. His hands are worse than my alarm. If that makes sense...

I was scrolling through insta and clicked on Dora's IG story. It's just her taking pictures of the food. I smile and clicked on her account. She gains followers so fast while I only have 250 but mine is a private account, the people who follow me are all girls. I don't even follow Ayaan, if he even has insta.

I felt a little curious, I clicked on her following list and I stared at it for a few seconds debating if I should type what I'm about to type.

Frick, I'm doing it. I don't know his name frick again. I huff and search through her thoughts of following list. This will take a long time. What if I ask her his name not suspiciously and then stalk him.

But I still continue looking through the long  list. I'm not interested in him I'm just curious and nosy. Suddenly the doors of the store were slammed open and multiple laughter were heard. I put my phone away and looked up. It was some group of men.

I didn't really care because I'm used to seeing groups of friends and people come in. The men looked like they could be in some gang. I'm just being judgmental which isn't very nice of me.

I watch them closely so they don't do any ruckus because one of them had a alcohol bottle. I take a deep breath in and continue to stand and watch as they roam around grabbing some things.

Two of them approached the counter. They both get their ids out and handed it to me. "Two camel" the one with brownish blonde hair and brown eyes said. He looked tall but I've seen taller people, for example my dear friend isadora and so...

I grab the camel cigarettes and handed it to him while he handed me money. He looked like he was in his early 20s so that's why he handed me his Id. He could pass as a teen who didn't age well.

The other man was dark skin. He also looked fairly tall I guess and young as the brownish blonde hair guy. He handed me his money and I handed the cigarette box. They each tuck the cigarettes in their pockets.

The brownish blonde hair guy looks at me and smiled. "You're eyes are unique." He said and stared into my eyes, I don't know why but as he said that I felt weird. Im not a attention seeker but getting compliments about my eyes make me feel happy. Maybe I'm still new to this whole New York thing.

I smile, "thank you" I said with a small voice trying not to have a effect on me. It's not the butterfly effect I read in those stories, I just want to love someone that I'm not forced to love.