Strawberry & Cigarettes

Chapter 37 - Toxic

Xaliana-

"W-what if I say no." I tried to raise my voice to a confident level but it was slipping. He looked at me blankly and then started to laugh like a maniac. "That's funny darling."

I clenched on my thighs and shut my mouth. "Just fucking remember our deal. You know won't be able to back out." He stands up and then walked away out the doors like nothing happened. My heart is still shivering from that encounter.

I've committed to this and now I have to go with it till he tells me when it's over. I'm deeply scared when he says it's over he'll kill me after. I was stuck in the trenches of my thoughts that I didn't see Enzo and Dora sit across from me.

Dora tapped me awake and I looked at her shook. "Oh hi." I tried to play it off by yawning trying to look tired and not frightened. "Girl you look so tired." I smiled weakly at her and nodded. "Love my life, show broke on the way here. Saw someone I didn't expect to see."

She looked at me with a raised eyebrow. "I hate Ayaan.." she thinks it's Ayaan, I'm not ever planning on telling her the truth. "Hmm— oh hi I'm Xaliana." I introduced myself to her boyfriend, oh how I pray everyday she doesn't date but I'm no one for this choice.

It would crush me to see the close person to me burn in jahannam. The little questions shed ask about Islam lighten my heart, when she stares at the Quran in my room with puppy eyes, the way she adores it when I pray on the mat.

"One day, I wanna try on a hijab, but I'm scared, I'm scared to be attached and then be abandoned."

Her words from her deep night cries rung in my head. Ya Allah, please protect all the innocent souls from the foul world, please guid my family and show them mercy. Please protect my dear friend and guid her.

"Hey, I'm Enzo..nice meeting you Xaliana." He reached his hand out to shake but I placed a hand on my heart and now my head slightly in respect. "Nice meeting you too." I replied. He immediately put his hand down and placed it on his heart too.

That's so touching.

We all sat back down and we began to order stuff. I got pancakes and a milkshake. I took a nice sip of my milkshake "We wanna get married." I immediately gagged at that comment. I looked at her with an unpleased look. "What? Are you serious right now?"

They both looked at each other and held each other hands. "I wanna have her forever, I can't wait any longer. She's the reason why I'm breathing still." His words slightly made me uncomfortable. Islam speaks loudly in my head again.

Suicide is haram, don't live for a lover or family member, live for Allah, your deen, for Islam.

"My love, I'm always here." She cupped his cheeks and placed a kiss on his cheek. I looked away and stared at my food. "Why so soon? You guys met a month ago."

She looked at me and frowned. "I know, I'm sorry Xali, it's soon but it's getting tough. My brother is going to find out. He will never accept."

I looked at Enzo as he stares at her with love. I don't want that. But I crave it so bad. I need that.

"No, I need you guys to be a couple for At least 1 year or 2 before making a big step. I will not let this happen so soon." I will protect her from a mistake she will make.

"You don't like me..?" I looked at Enzo as he said that. "When did I say that? Open your ears and eyes instead of your mouth. I said it's too soon. My answer is no. Call me toxic but this isn't happening."

She looked at me with sympathy. She looked at Enzo and nodded. "I will wait a couple more months." Enzo on the other hand looked taken back by her sudden change in decision.

"What? Because she said so??! Is she more important?" He looked at me and I looked back at him. "Yes I am." I spoke and he gets up. "I'm sorry I just need to go, I'm getting spam messages from your brother." He leaned down and kissed her on the lips and went out the doors.

"Are you okay?" She looked at me as my chest heaved up and down. "No— no I'm not okay. I felt like I just lost you." My voice was stern but mixed emotions. Her eyes soften and held my hand.

"I know you're scared because of what happened to you..I promise my love, not everyone is Khalil and Ayaan." She reached over and gently rubbed my cheek. I felt my heart uncontrollably beat.

"It's not that— no nothing. I'm just glad you're not doing it yet."

——

"I'm taking you to a party next week." I can't already feel the vomit rising. I know, I'll be there too but with another man.

"I'm going..cuz you're going." She smiled and pushed my shoulder slightly as we walked down the night streets. It was calm, cold and good. She gave me one of her shoe so we both had one foot  bare.

"Enzo is going too. But ugh my brother will be there with another worker. I'm so upset." I scoff and just listen to her. She doesn't realize how lucky she is. My brothers and sisters abandoned me.

"You wanna prank my brother? It's night and perfect." Before I could reply she gets her phone out and texted her bother.

'I'll be home late, at Xalianas house.'

What the heck is she doing. She runs towards her place and giggled evilly. "We're going to make him think a bad guy entered or scare him." I groan and try to tell her not to.

After awhile I was stuck with her and her evil stupid plan. I kept praying that I don't die from this. She was by the balcony. I was in the kitchen purposely making noise.

He's literally in the bathroom. Dora texted me that he's down with his shower. I whine and groan. I don't want to do this.

I began to stomp loudly and bang stuff. On the speaker I played even more sounds. After 10 minutes I texted dora. 'Where is he? Can I stop?'

She didn't reply and I groan. I turned around to open the lights but a hand wrapped around my waist and the other around my mouth.

"Who the fuck are you..speak before this goes in your head."

I stood there frozen in shock. My heart dropped when I heard his trigger the gun to get it ready. I turned around and a scream left my mouth but it was muffled. The only thing I could do my hug myself in fear but I swear I couldn't move.

"Speak." Tears run down my face. He let his hand drop so I could speak but I only chocked on a sob.

"Are you a trouble everywhere Fresa? Should I shoot you?"

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