Strawberry & Cigarettes

Chapter 28 - Gaslighting

Xalianas pov -

I take a huge bite of the chip that I dipped in hummus, it's honestly the best thing I've ate all day, probably the only thing I ate all day. Dora liked it but said she'd rather eat a meal but of course she can't cook and I'm not cooking and then end up missing this movie.

She's buggin. She faced me and paused the movie surprisingly. "Do you like your dear husband Ayaan?" She rolled her eyes when she mentioned his name. My lips formed a bothered expression. "No.."

"So why don't you find someone else." She's been saying that to me since she heard of Ayaan. I hate it break it to her but I can't, I'm trapped, mentally and physically. And on top of that I can't just fall in love again with anyone. I don't like anyone, and I simply don't want anyone who speaks to me just because of my 'beauty' or body.

Or simply because I'm a girl with a part that they need. It's disgusting. I don't want to make the same mistake I made years ago with Khalil, he blamed everything on me.

But the cruel part was that he never showed his face to me again. I can't believe I loved him. Every man I encountered tried to hurt me or sleep with me.

I feel to numb to the pain to get out of it. I will be helpless if I get out of the situation, I would be dead before I make a decision to runaway. Unintentionally I rubbed my left thigh softly as I feel the outline of the metal, it gave me a uneasy feeling, causing me to get chills.

"I can't— I would be helpless." I whisper the response tirelessly especially of this conversation. She won't let it go until she sees that cruel man out of my life. "No you won't, you have me! I can let you stay here."

"I can't Isadora." I get up to put the empty plate in the sink. She followed behind me with a angry expression. "Why!? He can't hurt you if you run away. And if he does we will call the police." I looked behind me at her. "No I can't."

She slammed her hand on the counter annoyed. "Why!" I shake my head and go back to the living room. "Because it's not that simple. Your brother literally despises me."

We both sat back down on the couch and she looked like she had an idea. I could just tell because her expression lightened up and a smile formed on her lip. Actually it was more like a smirk. "Then why did he defend you today?"

I looked at her confuzzled at this point. "What..?" She looked so smug right now I was confused what she means by this. He didn't want to help me actually he probably enjoyed it.

"We could kick him out." I looked at her blankly. This is the stupidest thing she's ever say. "Talk to me when your brain comes back." I ripped the remote out her hand and played the movie. She's out of her mind. He's not even Muslim, I'm not living here even if it was an option. It's forbidden.

———

"Please stop.." I whine as I held isadoras arm begging her not to do it. I can already feel my body aching in fear and anxiety. I just wanna cry in a hole and wish I never existed.

"no! ANGELO GET DOWN HERE NOW!!" I push her forcefully and ran to the kitchen hiding myself. She's gone crazy, I clenched my fists tightly. I don't even want to his face anymore. We're already not on good terms.

"WAKE UP ANGELO!" I bite on my lip aggressively as I hear her shout and scream away. She's doing all this just so we can go to this one restaurant across from kais apartment. KIAS APARTMENT!! she's insane!

I don't want to get my ass kicked again. Not even that but I could get killed by him again if any of the gangs find out what we were up to.

After her shouting for her brother while I hide in the kitchen pacing back and forth while i munch on the bag full of cookie M&ms. They taste so good. I then take other candy that was in the cabinets. Who's are these? I don't think Isadora even likes  these candy.

"Why the hell are you eating my candy." Mommy body jumped at that voice. I turned around with a heart aching to get out of here. To get away from him. A gasp left my lips as I see he's literally right behind me— inches away.

"Answer the question." He walked towards me and I walked back until my back hit the counter. I clenched on the bag of M&ms and gulped the few that was suck in my throat.

He has a small smirk placed on his lips making the situation no better. If I tell him I stress eat with he only hit me more like Ayaan does? Of course he will. But I won't let him get to me right now.

"What are you going to do about it." I whisper to him 'confidently.' I'm honestly all bark no bite which is highly disappointing.

Actually this one time in Afghanistan I was in school and this girl said Khalil likes her and not me and then I caught her flirting with him!! So I punched her 7 times in the face until blood splattered everywhere and I got suspended.

I regret punching her, it was a waste of my energy and record. Now knowing Ayaan he probably enjoyed it and flirted back. He ran away from me and blamed me like it was all my fault! My fault that he held my hand? My fault that anyone will blame me because I'm a women instead of a man?

"You really shouldn't know." He looked practically amused right now. This is a pity. "Cuz you can't bud." I smile cheekily at him and regret it because his face fell into a hard one.

"Don't test me." He whispered down to me and I shrugged. "All bark no bite." I'm praying inside he walks away or he doesn't hear me. I'm just throwing gasoline to the fire. Not smart. I'm so stupid.

"Did you forget last week? Should I enlighten you?" I clenched on the bag and looked at him boldly. "When you broke my arm or when you pointed a gun at me?" He didn't even break my arm. I'm just gaslighting him. Which I'm not sorry for. He's no angel.

Ironic.

"Oh this gun?" And just like that he takes the gun out of the back of his pants. My eyes widen as I looked into his tired looking eyes. He definitely just woke up. His hair is messy too— not the point. He brought the gun up and dragged it up my head down to my neck.

"You play too much Fresa." A chuckled left his mouth and he walked away as if nothing just happened. Stupid M&ms. But they taste so good. I throw a hand full of them in my mouth munching like a man.

Why am I not as scared? Cuz I don't have a brain. Duh

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Tomorrow coming more