bounce back

63

the truth will always come out.

something ive heard said plenty of times, but i never want the truth about my eating disorder to come to the surface.

i never posted about it and i only told people i truly trusted.

but here at sat at maddie & johns wedding.

i couldn't eat.

not with him here.

not with him making constant eye contact with me.

the only pieces ive connected together is trevor is one of maddies friends plus ones.

its not maddie's fault, she doesn't know.

"should we drive through mcdonald's after?" jack whispered.

i looked down at my plate.

im gonna be sick.

i shook my head.

"talk to me."

"i dont want too." i said.

what was a fun & loving day, turned dark & gloomy as i sat in a room with trevor in view.

"he's gone, take a few bites."

"i ate breakfast." i told him.

"3 meals a day."

i rolled my eyes went i felt an arm over my shoulder.

"congratulations guys!"

my eyes went wide as i knew the voice.

"im waiting for my invitation." he laughed.

i stood up and i felt trevors hand travel down my backside.

"i have to go to the bathroom, jack." i said.

i made a quick escape as i tried to remember where the bathroom even was.

"liv?" i heard.

i finally found it and i quickly went to a stall.

i heard the door open.

"hey can you see if my fiancée is in here?"

i wiped my tears.

gosh i hope this makeup is water proof.

"whats her name?"

"livlyn." jack said.

"livlyn? you in here?" the lady asked.

"yeah." i said, trying to not sound like i have the worst anxiety right now.

"shes in here."

"hey liv, im waiting out here for you, take your time babe."

i took my time, collecting myself before i walked out of the bathroom.

he smiled softly at me as i tried to walk past him.

he placed his hand on my hip to pull me to him.

"im fine jack."

"you're not babe and thats okay. tell me what you want to do." he said.

"does my makeup look bad?" i asked

"you still look good babe."

"hey, everything okay?" maddie said, walking over.

"yeah, this is your day, go party." i said with a fake smile.

she frowned.

"im so sorry, i didn't know he was coming." she said. "if i knew i would of sat him outside by the dumpster, where he belongs."