Forget me not (A SUNSUN FIC)

ㅡ 29.

ㅡ 29. Calm

TW 🔞 Death, explicit content, talks about mental health issues.

First part: Don't sleep yet

As Sunoo finished his first stick, he rolled his eyes when he realized he only brought one with him. He tried searching for another even though he knew that was his only one. He looks at Sunghoon, who's watching him in every move.

"I realize you're judging me right now." Sunoo rolls his eyes again as he is frustrated enough that he can't light another cigarette to ease his anxiety, and then there's Sunghoon's judging eyes.

"What are you saying, Kim?" Sunghoon tilted his head.

He has nothing in his mind except how he finds Sunoo cool while blowing that smoke. He doesn't like the smell of cigarettes, and he knows it's worse to be a secondhand smoker than to be a smoker himself, but if it's Sunoo, he might inhale it all to prove that he's not anywhere turned off by it.

Sunoo kneels in front of Sooha while his eyes are closed tightly as he talks to her in his mind.

'I know it's disrespectful, but I just need to smoke. It has been my escape ever since I experienced those traumas back then. And now, I almost had my panic attack, and only cigarettes can calm me. Up until now, I finished my stick. I'm still a little in a trance, and I need another one or two. I'm disrespectful, I know it, but you can't blame me because I can't handle this anymore. After this, when I open my eyes, I think you approve of it.'

He was about to open his eyes when he felt a hand just right in his jaw, holding it softly. He wants to open his eyes! But there's something he was waiting for. When he felt a soft peck, he immediately opened his eyes and saw Sunghoon's sleepy eyes staring at him.

"Fck!" He cursed and pushed Sunghoon away.

Sunghoon didn't speak as Sunoo tried to wipe something on Sunghoon's lips. Sunghoon tries hard to stop Sunoo, but the younger is towering over him.

"I'm sorry, just don't, please!" Sunghoon held Sunoo's hands as he pleaded for the younger with pleading eyes.

"I smoked, Sunghoon! Are you fuck in the head?" Sunoo tries again to revoke his hands, but Sunghoon kneels and levels with Sunoo as he presses his lips again to the younger.

Sunoo closed his eyes again as he felt like his hands turned to jelly. Sunghoon let go of it and held the younger's jaw. The younger closed his eyes tightly when Sunghoon's tongue entered his mouth.

It was the softest thing he felt inside his mouth.

It was soft, hot, slow and gentle. Sunoo shivered when Sunghoon did a final peck before pulling away from him. Sunoo slowly opened his eyes to see Sunghoon staring at him intently.

"I inhaled most of the smoke. I don't care." Sunghoon replied.

Sunoo is a bit lost when Sunghoon suddenly says that. But he remembered what he had just said to the older before he proceeded to kiss him.

He was supposed to light another cigarette to calm himself. He didn't know Sunghoon's kiss would wipe the stress from his system.

"W-Why did you do that?" Sunoo asked. He can't even feel his lips. 

He felt like his mouth was eaten by Sunghoon because he couldn't feel it. But what stays in his system is the feeling of Sunghoon's soft tongue inside his mouth. He can still feel the way Sunghoon's tongue traveled inside it. It's still there; he can still feel it inside.

"At first, I thought you wanted to… You closed your eyes, but the second I was just inches away, I knew you didn't ask for it. I just feel like doing it." Sunghoon said shyly. His last word was almost inaudible.