Fifty Shades of Romanoff

38

The events that followed after went by in a blur. Romanoff called the police and they arrested Luis, he was fired from the firm thank goodness and Wanda's name was cleared.

Natasha had taken me to the hospital making sure I was okay even though I had already told her countless times before that I was fine.

"It's just a minor concussion." I reminded her as she drove me back to my place.

"I can't believe that just happened." She gripped the steering wheel tighter and I could tell she was getting in her head too much. Replaying everything over and over again until it eats away at her. "Hey" I place my hand on her thigh. "I'm okay and that's all that matters all right."

She parked the car and followed me inside. "I need some wine." I went to my cabinet pulling out a bottle of the crimson liquid craving the taste against my lips.

"No remember doctors orders." She pulled the bottle away. "No drinking at first, it's bad for people with concussions."

"Minor concussion remember." I correct her statement leaving the kitchen and instead going to change into different clothes. "I'm gonna quickly get a shower." She nodded her head finding a comfy spot on my couch to rest. "Are you gonna stay over?" I peek my head out the door.

"Do you want me to?" She looks at me questionably.

"Yes." Is all I said before going to rinse away the bad day I had.

After I get out of the shower I wipe away the steam from the mirror and gasp once I see the red fingerprints scattered across my neck. Well that certainly isn't pretty.

I walked out in my towel changing into a hoodie and shorts before going to find the red head who was hiding somewhere in my apartment. "Hey" I snaked my arms around her waist as she leaned back into my embrace. "I don't know about you but I'm exhausted." I mumble against her neck as she nods her head in agreement.

We crawled into bed as she pulled me against her chest. I sighed in comfort resting my head just above her heart as I could hear it beating rapidly fast. I knew now wasn't the time to pry but something was definitely on her mind and it would probably keep her awake the whole night.

As much as I wanted to comfort her, I was too tired from my traumatic day to stay awake and I slowly felt my eyes become heavy as I drifted off to sleep in her embrace.

———
"Oh my god!" Wanda ran over to me pulling me into a tight embrace as I chuckled hugging her back. "Are you okay?" She pulled away looking at me concerned.

"I'll survive." I gave her a tight lip smile as she sighed with a sad look on her face. "Thank you." Was all she said as she gave me another hug. It was nice having her back.

———
"Hey." I knocked on Romanoffs office door as I peeked my head inside. She lifted her head looking up at me tiredly. Like I said she didn't sleep.

"I know you said the Greece trip got postponed but how long exactly until we leave for it?"

"It's a month away." She mumbled closing her computer giving me her full attention.

"Perfect, just wanted to make sure it was still happening before I bought some outfits for the trip."

It was silent in the room, or more like she was silent. The whole day she had been off like her mind was constantly somewhere else and it was starting to bug me why I hadn't been able to figure it out yet.

"Natasha?"

"Hmm?" Her green eyes looked over at mine.

"Are you okay?" I asked sincerely hoping she would tell me what's on her mind.

"Fine."

I bit my tongue knowing if she was in a mood I shouldn't poke the bear. "Alright, I'll be at my desk if you need me."

I shut the door sitting at my desk in utter boredom the rest of the day. Natasha didn't leave once and I was beginning to feel rather worried about her.

"You look sad, why are you sad?" Wanda asked as I pick at my lunch. "I'm not sad just confused I guess."

"About?" She pried knowing talking about my problems helps me.

"Natasha's been in a funk today and it's bugging me how I can't figure it out."

"You worry too much about other people." I roll my eyes at her form of advice. "Gee thanks."

"Did you ever think to ask her about it?"

"No because that'll only lead to more messes, don't poke the bear remember."

"I guess." She shrugged running out of ideas for me. "You'll figure it out eventually, you always do."

Natasha:
She said she loved me.

She said she loved me yesterday and I didn't respond back. Why? Well I'm not sure either to be honest.

Did I love her? I knew I was attracted to her and cared for her but love?

I don't know what to do now because she hasn't brought it up. She's always the one who brings things up so why isn't she bringing this topic up. It's a pretty big one of you ask me.

I've sat at my desk replaying last nights events over and over again. When I heard her on the phone in a panic I had thought I lost her and then for her to just come out and say that just after, I'm just a little caught off guard still.

I'm not even sure if I love her because I've never been loved by anyone. How would I even know what it feels like and on top of all that, how am I gonna open up to her when she's so easy to lose.

We've been through so much together I'm just terrified of losing her. I know how to lust for someone that's for sure but love is a new level of commitment.

I don't do love.

I don't love her.

Not yet anyway.

Im ignoring the topic until she brings it up. I hope she never does, because I think I'll tell her something she doesn't wanna hear.

I can't break her, not again. She's too fragile, she's been through so much, I don't deserve her and yet I can't live without her either.