The sweetest nightmares (Loki&Elsa and Jack&Elsa function novel)

Part 10 - A Lier in love

Loki :

She always gives me a week;
To torture me,
To think,
To feel,
To remember,
To think of every meeting over and over again, until I'll get crazy.
From the emotion flooding my soul?
From my plan ?
From my sins, that she doesn't know of?
From the fact that I must stay strong but I can't?
From her?

She is the healer of my soul, my queen, my dearest.
So powerful, yet so gentle,
I'll kill enyone who will dear take her away from my reach.
It just actually kills me.
Why am I attracted to the only person in the world that makes me feel like dying?

She only look like she is weak against my words,but she is more powerful I will ever know.
Only the look she gives me with her deep blue eyes and the helo around her,
And I swear, I am paralysed.

What is that feeling I am drowning in?!

I saw how other people react when a girl is present, yet I never had the chance to try until I met her.
I have heard of passing friendships between some of my friends and some girls.
Yet, no one ever described to me such a powerful reaction to them.

I feel more crazy then I ever was, I'm having trouble to control myself only from standing next to her.

What is that emotion?!

Is it...?
No. It can't be.

Can it be possible?
No ,it cannot be.

But is there a chance that it is....
Is it....

Is it love?

No one had ever really loved me.

I have always been closed person, never showed eny emotion, but hate.

Can it be?
All the stories,
all the books,
every compensation we had.....
Is it...? It is!

The understanding hitting me.
Everything is connected in my mind now.

I love her.

Again that feeling, but now it feels right then ever!
It is finally possible!

Endless energy has been woken in me.
Nothing, no one, will ever stop me from loving her.
Nothing will separate between us.
I'll save each and every moment this miracle happening.

She must not know who I am or she will run away, and our love will die, and I would never be able to see her face again.
I lied to her many times ,but I must continue even if it hurts.
I'll get crazy without her.
No success will be worth itself without her.

I will do enything for her.
I will sacrifice myself,
For every wish she has is my order.
Protect her from eny enemie,
Even if it is me ,after all of my wrongdoing.

Who would believe his ears! A lier in love!
" Ha!". I laght a bitter laght to myself.

She doesn't know who I am.
She doesn't know that I am the prince of all realms and Asgard, the leader of the Chituri army to be,
a monster, murderer, probably mentally ill, an immortal god that fell in love for a mortal human being, and a lier.

Lier....
No. I can't let her know!
She will never come back.
With all the cruelty of it,
I must stay strong and not let myself lose any direction.

Yet ,it's so hard it just ters me apart.

She witched me.
And like wine to my soul,
her charm intoxicating me while I get more and more addicted
to her face,
her look,
her voice.

In my drunknness she fools me,
Getting into every crack in my soul and discovers more and more information she is not supposed to know.
Like when I told her about my brother, father and almost told her that I am frost ginet child.

But she calls me.
She calls me from her depths of mystery and I unconsciously attracted to her.
I want to fall for all of her!
I cannot bear it any more.
I have lied too many times for my short life time. I am tired of lieing!

'But you must not tell the truth.
Lie as much as needed,
Because there is no chance she'll ecsept me for real.' My mind reminded me, as I felt my head burning from thinking.

The storm of thoughts in my head makes me crazy!
I thought while my brain draged me back to my cursed thoughts.

I should keep my secrets carefully,
And save each moment as long as she is still mine to reach.

But is she?
No.
Desapointment crushed my heart as I realised.

This pure creatcher is the only thing the whole universe is trying with all his power, to keep out of my reach so I won't be able to destroy her.

As I got the fact my heart screamed :
'No! Please! Don't take her away from me now! '
But no.
The only thing I would never be able to control ,
Her feelings,
will never be within my reach.

She is unreachable, sublime.
As cold as moonlight,
As wild as a storm,
as gentle as the northern wind touches my face gently on the roof I am standing on....Oh! I wish it was really her!

She must be free.

Even my sealed brain to any conscience knows that.
How can I take her freedom?
Kindness?
Gentle?
How can I corrupt her beautiful soul?!

I have done many terrible sins in my life, but to do such a thing will be just forbidden.

But my unrestrained heart can't stop thinking about her.
And I will never be able to stop.

No one is able to control me.
So she naturally, has the power to make me feel like dying ,If I'll decide in my madness to get too close.

I won't be able to harm her or have an adverse effect on her with my desire to sin.
To kill.
To be in charge of everything.

She makes me die.
But she calls me!
I swear,
with all my heart and corrupt soul I am sure of that!
I can't let her go, I just can't.
My conscience will ever stop me from loving her.
Nothing will.

One big tragedy,
Forbidden love.

I smiled to myself, and got back to my castle as the cold, searing wind strikes me from my back.