The sweetest nightmares (Loki&Elsa and Jack&Elsa function novel)

Part 30 - Nothing more?!

Jack :

I'm not covered by my blanket, I just threw myself on bed.
I don't actually care.

I don't actually care about nothing anymore.

It's better to sleep.

My troubles won't hunt me down at night, won't they?

I closed my eyes.

I'm standing in the ice castle.
Am I awake?

I turned around slowly from the confusion but all along everything seemed to be slow motioned.

Wait, is this Elsa?
She stood on top of the stairs with her back turned to me.
"Elsa! "
I'm calling her from down stairs, as I run up as fast as I can.

I can't help it, I want her, she always makes me feel better.
I am so close to her only three steps away, and she walks away.
This got me more interested, one second she's here and she's away in the next, making me more motivated to get her.
I ran to her with a joyful smile that to stick to my face all this time, I'm inches away from her in her room and suddenly,
A black shadow of a tall man with green flames surrounding his black image, pushed me away in a sudden action I could not expect, and stole her away from me to the edge of the veranda.

He held her in his hands as she smiled a blank smile at him;
Her eyes are innocence and holding no emotion unlike they usually do.
I looked at them shocked and breathless, and wanted to weak up more than ever when I saw him leaning a bit forwards her as if he would kiss her a kiss that will wipe all her memories about me in a second.
My anger lit up quickly like wildfire.

The unworthy bastard took a moment to stop as his dark image got bright enough of the green flames around him so I could see him looking at me, with a malicious smile on his face which dedicated, all my thoughts
for killing him.

I ran to him furiously, and screamed at him - "Nooooo!" - with a pure hate and urge to see his blood all over this place.

I started scanning his face to recognise my enemy that I swore I won't stop hunting down from this moment on ;
His forehead was big,
His raven - black hair curved up in the edges like he would skewer everyone who'll disturb him on them,
His expression furious and crafty as the devil,
And his bold eyebrows hid his eyes under them, that was shinning in a malicious green colour.

A second before I hit him like he deserves, every thing fell apart and as I fell down to the unknown, a distant voice told me for one second as I fell when my mind was clear :

'He is still after her Jack.
He is separating between Elsa and you.
Don't let him.'

I woke up instantly;
All covered by cold sweat,
My breath is way too fast, and my heart is about to burst out of my chest.

It was late at night and I woke up before the sun rises, again,
The night sky was dark and the stars were shinning in bright blue as well as the moon that looked bigger tonight.
That could mean two things:
Or that the sun is going to come up in less than a half an hour or......
The moon gave me a vision of something that is really important and happening.
But, there is less than no way that it's true.

I crushed backwards on my bed in depression for all I've been through yesterday and in my dreams;

Something is separating us,
This I'm sure, otherwise Elsa won't be so sad and afraid to fall in love.
But, Hell! What is it?! Who is it?
I'm not weak. I'll fight with every last drop of blood, but where is he?!
I have to know, but how?
Now I can never have her.

She'll never be mine.
Curse fate!
It's no other than his cruel decisions, breaking us apart from each other.
How heartless it is to make me come back alive invisible and heartless and after a few years, when I only started to accept my destiny, make me fall in love with her, tempting me for the unreasonable and impossible - her love - knowing there will be always something avoiding me of getting it.

I don't believe this is happening!
I thought I was strong, I was heartless and colder than the ice,
Until I met her.

How painful it is to know I can never be more than a "friend"!
After all we have been through?

I remember how I saw her in the first time, since that party in her palace, when I watched her in the distance, tempting me to come in and she said nothing, one look in her eyes was all it needed.

She has only become more beautiful
since I've met her after my crash.
Almost like meeting someone in the street you knew long ago, yet know nothing;
I recognised her somehow but I didn't know why.

I remember how I told her I'm sorry to bother her, I only asked to stay with her until I'll heal, that I'm on my way, I never even imagined that I'll fall in love with her so bad.

We started knowing each other,
Learning with interest,
Of our powers, where we came from, what we do in our lives, the past.
And I slowly fell for her, but it was gone so fast, yesterday;

I just said that we could be friends, and I meant that we can get closer than what we are now - A guardian at work and a queen as mission,
nothing more.
I meant that we could finally set our emotions free, love gently and passionate.
Like I've imagined us doing for days now, since I allowed myself to break some of the moon's laws and act the way lover should.
And only when the love started to bloom like a miracle we never expected,
She was out.
Leaving me alone, screaming in the inside to her to come back.
Broken- hearted for this night that I'm sure that was the longest one in my life!
How could two words the world upside down?
"My friend".

"My friend "?!
Is that what I am for her?
A friend and nothing more?
She is the love of my life and I am just a friend for her?!

I am pathetic!
What did I expect?
That she will acsept me the way I am?!
Cold?
Apathetic?
With my skin too cold so she would find any comfort in me?
While hugging her?
While kissing her?
While.......

No. Stop being a fool.
She's not mine nor she never will.
If she doesn't love me,
It doesn't matter how many rules I will listen to or break.
She doesn't love me.
She doesn't feel the same.
I was just too innocent.
I was hallucinating.
Just Stop.

Stop thinking,
Stop imagining her,
Stop feeling......
Stop your heart from beating!
That will be great!
Give me a chair to break instead of my heart - I thank you very much!

'Now, did you learn your lesson?!'
My brain said in the most apathetic, cold voice like it always has when it's logic.
'Yes, I did. Will I handle it?'

*

I fell asleep with a broken heart I tried to cool down and woke up in the next morning,
Trying to stop myself from continuing falling for what seems that moment for non.

'Consitrate on your mission.
Don't let your needs and feelings get in your way.
You owe her as much as you owe to everyone else, maybe even more - No. skip out of this - Protect her.
That's why you are here.'

I was training that early morning.
My eyes reastless and red for the night I've been through and because I didn't sleep much.
Repressing the knowing in my heart that I don't only owe her, but feeling something even more novel then a duty.

So, I said to myself:

' Today I will train harder.
Today it's all about the mission.'

The mission is - Elsa