The sweetest nightmares (Loki&Elsa and Jack&Elsa function novel)

Part 24 - A long story......

Jack :

It's already Wednesday.
The pain got weak enough for me to wear my jacket and get the bandages off.

Apparently,
she was busy sewing and cleaning it from all the blood.
She is too good to me!
Is she even real?
I felt so grateful, that If I could only be someone else, If I could only be normal, If I could only not be a guardian that swore to love no one,
I could actually run towards her and kiss her!

Wait a minute.......
What did you just meant to do with her?!
No.

Although all I felt, in the end I only insisted to wear it no my own.
I should help myself too after all!

Ecsept that, she did for me soo much already........
I almost told her she didn't had to do it and I swear that if I wasn't so sick and weak for that I would fly to the base, first thing in the morning,
With jacket or without!

The base.....
Sometimes I wonder what's going on in the front.
And then again hunted by the thoughts that for everyone and for myself -
I have no use ecsept on the battle field.
I'm suffering,
They are complaining.
Business as usual......

But I can't go there yet I am not fit for such a long journey of flying yet.
I can't even stand yet!
It is frustrating in soo many levels......

We talked more in the next days.
We were more open to each other, and it was good to be so honest sometimes,
Especially to someone like Elsa,
That knows me better than enyone now, even if she doesn't know it.

-"You know,
I never knew someone who has such a white hair like yours....."
-" Yha, that's a long story....."

-"Tell me. " She insisted with interest.
-"Well,
Before I was a guardian,
I was human just like you.
But one day I went to skate on the ice....
And my sister almost fell into the frozen water benefits it unless I saved her life.
I took my stick and pushed her away....."
I closed my eyes and stopped as painful memories of what happened next.
-"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to."
She noticed my sad and angry expression, that exploded on my face when I shot up.
The only thing makes me feel yet, when I talk about it, feel only bad things.

But, I was lighter inside somehow,
Because it was easier to talk about it when she's here.
She didn't looked like she said that although she wants to know,
she understood my situation and respected a situation that I wouldn't like to share in.
But I want to.
It opened the rest of the emotion flooding she always makes me able to feel,
And I decided:
"No. I'll tell."

I breathed deeply.
I never talked about this.
I never was and felt so exposed.
How does that feeling calls?
Openness.

I looked into her eyes, craving for what she is doing to me now to be endless, and enjoying every magical moment that is filled with emotions she shows me, and continued:
"Everything has a price, so I'm paying it. I drowned in thoes ice cold waters for myself."

I read her look, after this hard confession, to see how she'll react to this situation.
The reasonable response should have been:
'Who will complain about such a gift like the one you were given?!
To be a hero, with unlimited ice powers anyone will surely desire, admired, and get another chance to live?!'
But for my surprise,
She showed nothing but compassion and understanding.
Not like I expected everyone else to......
Oh! She is soo wonderful,
I feel like with every moment I discover another thing that makes her more attractive!

What?
No.
Calm yourself.
-"So....
How did you....."

I immediately woke up of my thoughts and knew what she is gonna ask:
"The moon choose me to become a guardian of legends;
My hair turned white,
My skin turned colder than those frozen waters themselves,
And I floated above the ice.
He choose me to live."
I can still remember the last emotion wild and free in my heart before I became a chosen one, and it was gone, Forever.

Feeling of being like......
Reborn.

Oh! I am always asking....
Why?!
Why did he left me to live?
Without any emotion in heart?
With no answers?
My eyes ran on her perfect face, stressful for my unstable and harmful situation, begging to find any comfort in her soft attitude. All I could ask is:

"Won't you ask why?"

Her eyes lit.
-"Why not?
You only wanted to live."
And when I saw her blue,
understanding,
Comforting,
Beautiful eyes,
That calmed me down immediately.

She saw the good in that situation!
And not because of the powers that enyone who has a brain will pay for, No,
It's because she thinks I am worthy!
Am I?
Am I good enough?
If I knew that she really thinks so my joy could be endless!

She continued :
"You only wanted to saved your sister!
And I only....."
Her braeth was taken from the gilt even before she ended the sentence.
I pitied her.
My head screamed :
'I want to help!'
And then the answer came, almost like an impuls;
'Say something.'

-"Elsa, if something is wrong
You can always tell me."
I said without the ability to express what was inside, so I looked very siruse. I want to help her the way she helps me!
She breathed deeply.
-"I gess not everyone knows my story."
She laght a bitter laght, quitely.

She told me it all.
How she discovered her powers,
How she discovered their bad side,
How she grew alone,
How she became a queen,
How she ran away,
How her sister found her,
How her sister got hurt,
How she discovered her dark side.
And finally,
how she saved her.
Only because she cried.
Only because of her emotions.....
They are magical,
in any way I know.

I understood it all and said sincerely:
"Elsa, there is nothing wrong with what you did."

She got her head up and look straight at me:
"What did you just said?"
An expression of deep fear and sadness was spreaded all over her look with each step she took back,
away from me.
The ood understanding hitting her face with each step closer to the door.

She looked at me for a fragile of a second,
The tears standing in her eyes,
And she got out of the room.

After this,
I couldn't sleep.
At all.

What did I said?!
She looked at me almost like she saw a monster.....

How can I save her?
It makes me crazy!
Maybe I am crazy.....
Oh!
Why can't I just be normal?
Why I make such a mess of everything?
Why am I such a dumb?!
And I expected that if my heart is not working at least my head will.....
Pathetic!

I looked up to the ceiling,
and almost asked the moon to help my suffers knowing that even he can't.

But then.......
I heard her crying again.

Oh!
what have I done?!
The next whine brought my thoughts back to her -
What makes her so sad?
Why would such a beautiful, nice, lovely girl should be so sad?
What hurts her so bad?
I wish I knew......

I heard her crying in that night last week.
Last night too, I only wish I could run to her,
Hug her like a lover,
Take her sadness away.

Every day,
Every day she's crying.
It doesn't stop.

I'm not angry,
I......
I only wish I could save her.
Usually, my powers works all the time as a guardian of legends,
But in her beautiful soul,
There is so much pain,
That even I can help only a little!

I wish I could do more.....
Such a good person shouldn't have any pains,
I wish I could take her pains and bear them for myself.

I should take care of her.

I should take care of all of her.