The sweetest nightmares (Loki&Elsa and Jack&Elsa function novel)

Part 13 - Broken

Elsa :

Every time,
I know I can help him,
I want to help him,
to learn more, to discover, to improve, to develop his good sides that no one but me knows of.

But I know I can't.

There will come a day,
Everything will look wonderful,
he'll steel my heart ,
He will get closer,
He will make me feel free.

But I'll be too wild,
And my uncontrollable emotions will take over.

I will axidently hurt him.

And after thing like that he won't come back.
My heart will be taken from me for nothing.

It will happen.
And it doesn't matter how or when.

I'll hurt everyone.

I won't help it too long,
I can't restrain my deamons for too long,
and all of those beautiful moments will be gone.
forever.

I don't deserve him,
I don't deserve enyone.

Oh! Only to think about that.
It hurts so much.
'No one will ever love you. And you will love no one. '
Only the thought of that makes me cry.....
The tears freeze on my face again....

No ! You must be strong.
But I can't.

Suddenly, I remembered our first meeting ;
I don't know what did he meant when he said: "If you think that what you did is a sin, you know nothing about sins." In our first meeting.

What I did to my sister and to Arandle was the greatest sin in my life!
But when I looked at his face ,I saw he didn't lie.
He always told me that he did crimes. Many crimes....

He talked out of experience.

I would risk my freedom for all people around me,
especially for my love ones.
So I am afraid of hurt everyone.

He is the complete opposite.

He hurts everyone.
He doesn't care.

He looks like no one ever loved him,

So he has no one to defend, ecsept his ego.
And no one to cure his scars....
which get worse every day that passes even he ignores it.

Every time I can see through his soul,
for a reason that I wish I would know,
I feel existed and wird,
I can exidently freeze everything around....
I am going crazy!

Why is he so confusing?!

That's it!

I won't see him anymore!
It's too risky.

My heart screamed:

'Oh, please! For once in your life! Do something for yourself! '

I wish I could.

But I can't.

This is a dream. A fantasy.

If I'll live in my own turmes, everyone will be hurt, just like the last time.

But this time,

they will die.

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