The sweetest nightmares (Loki&Elsa and Jack&Elsa function novel)

Part 26 - Pitch Black

Loki :

I am opening my eyes.

Soft snow is falling down,
Distracted,
By the cold wind,
slapping my face right now.
How beautiful it was only a second ago.....

They get away from me,
The beautiful cold got away from me,
And I am already worming up because of the incinerator deep in my heart.
She used to be the only thing that cold me down,
See the right in the madness,
The light in the edge of the tunnel,
Somebody to relax with,
Someone who understands,
An angel that makes me fall like into a dream, out of the nightmares the reality gave me, and still gives.

She really was a dream;
Only her eyes are filled with cold, distant, pure stardust,
Her words like mermaid's songs for a hopeless, long - lost sailor in the middle of the night.....

What a fool she done from me?!
To drown like that?
Blind?!
Ready to give everything I have like a drunk?!

It's not enough to be evil and mad as I am.
No,
It's never enough!
She putted more oil to the fire,
Made me more crazy then I ever was,
And I loved it!

But when this fire got out of control,
When it floated me,
With all the power comes with the success,
The satisfaction she gave me for the first time in my life,
And my dream for her to be my queen, so real that I could almost touch it!

But every dream has an end.
It was inevitable.
I burned.

What's now?
Nothing.
I know I'm not dead.
I can't be.
If I couldn't die from a crush landing on this world, and from such a hight
how can I die from a little burning?

I can only die inside.
But I already did that two months ago......

I reminded myself when I wore my clothes that day.
Yes,
Two months ago.
Who'll possibly forget such a thing?
Me.
In that moment maybe.
My heart died that moment.

I got up from the ash of the fire,
Walked to my castle,
As purposefully as I could that moment, completely emotionless,
Building the stone walls upon my heart again.
Impervious to her.
I thought then.....

Found my sceptre,
Got all the material and energy the castle was made of,
Including the first stone of it,
And walked away to the coldest point in Erth so no one will never find me and my army before I conquer the planet.

I gathered them all in my new castle,
Still dark,
Still royal,
Much bigger,
And threatening like war fortress should be.

I thought only out of my ego ever since,.
Never emotion.
Luxury a king,
General,
War creator,
Courter of death,
Or a devil like me,
Cannot offer.
At least that's what I thought all this time during war, plans and attacks.
The compleat opposite was proved to me last week.

The small thoughts came back first,
Then the hours of sitting alone,
Then it was in the war conventions of my side with the Chituri,
You repressing her out of your mind,
But no!

You think you can say no, you can't!
Maybe it will dissappear in the days,
But it will conquer your nights.
Oh!
It's never going to be enough!

I love it so much!
My madness against the praid,
And gess who is wining?!
My heart wasn't dead.
Bleeding maybe,
But not dead.
No.
It's very alive.
Always alive.
I couldn't stop the madness too,
It's has always been inside.

I decided.
I decided I want it all.
Why can't I have it all?
I am an Asgardian!
The son of Odin, the son of Lofi,
This way or that way, no one can deny!