The sweetest nightmares (Loki&Elsa and Jack&Elsa function novel)

Part 38 - send me there

* Previous month *

Jack:

I flew in the middle of the night and the wind remembred reality still owns me a cold slapp in my face.

-'Come on, you knew there was no way for you and her to be together. You knew you had to leave her in the palace and way sooner - but no - When the time passed by you managed falling in love with the Queen of Arandle!
You took the mission too personal. This is your crime. You traitor!
Now go back there as fast as you can before they notice.'

My mind cursed me as a punishment.

But why do I feel like it's the most wonderful thing to keep. Even as a memory.

But Why ain't I getting cold again?
Why isn't she leaving my brain?

Seriously, I really got warmer since I was with her.
Less of an emotionless person I was.
But how?

'I am in love'was the answer.

I can't belive it.
I knew it was against anything and everyone I ever knew. Now I'm free. Even it's not approved. My heart is.

I saw the base after five hours of flight.

Another thought lit up in my mind.
-'Oh!
Thank who ever made her the safe and protected queen that never had to break the rule except for by accident ,
and made me the guardian that must rip his own heart out every time he touches her only one time than has to leave.'
I know it's crazy talk but I guess it's how it is when you are locked in one mind with the same feels.

A flash of her expression when I took off the terrace and tried to figure out how to smile got in my mind.
Before my love is staying far away, before I go to fight.
It's colder than anything I used to.

Yes,it hurts very bad
But let's admit it's feels great to feel for her like that. And there are no words to express it any longer now because it's incomprehensible.

* Next month *

I created an ice knife and threw it towards the target.
-'Slowly, do it in the right angle.'
I said to myself and looked furiously at the image in front of me.

I heared Hiccup ranging with anger on someone. I should have noticed it was me who he exclaimed at and jumped on.

-"Hello man. What the hell is going on?"Hiccup exclaimed at me.

-"What happen?" I asked him annoyed when turning my icy normal eyes at him and tried to smile, then concentrated back on the knife.

I threw it on the target and it made noise and got outside the target circles. Missed it. I cursed through my tightened teeth.

-"What?" I asked.

-"Look at the target's center please."
He showed the exercising target on the sack full of weet which had a miserable imitated shape of a man as a target.

I scratched my back with another ice knife.
-"Jack, Since you came back after disappearing in the-"

-"Nowhere-" I cut him off.

-"As you always say ,you lost your mind!" He accused me.

I replied.
-"What is your problem? I came back from the edge of the north to save this war! and this is how you people thank me?"

-"I am not talking on the two months ago I just want you to get back to your normal scores and punches."
Hiccup got his hands up in surprise.

-' What are you doing frost?! You want to convince them nothing is going on with your mood and you get angry every time they stay for more than five minutes?!' My mind hissed me again.

-' You know you need her and you can't hide it.' My heart said wisely and I shut up and listened.

"Come on! Do it right! We all know you can do this!!" Hiccup slapped my back and got a sigh and a look only.

-"Yes, probably you are right." I threw another icicle.

I hit it stright and ,Hiccup had just went out.
I cursed out silently.
-'Great.' My mid sarcastically added.
'He never came to look at your success either.'

I hit the target as much times as I could ,until I saw the most of the lights in the camp were already out.

The moon was up in the sky.
Midnight.

I sighed for a few long seconds and threw the last knife and went to sleep , or at least faked sleep.

I laid and watched the ceiling in the dark , thinking about things.

I got out when the stars shined bright enough.
It means no one has any light so all of them are already asleep.

Elsa is asleep now too.
If I were only there to watch her.
If she was only here so I could say how I miss her.
If I could only explain how sick I feel without hearing her voice.
Like she sees me. But she's distant.
Or loves me with all her heart just waiting to see me.
Or sick of worry by herself of me in the front.

I love her so much.
I will fight not only for the people in the world but for her. I love her too much.

-"Elsa, my love. Stop torturing me. Give me some time to sleep or visit me in my dreams." I said silently into the blue glowing stars.

I got this snowflake in my hand and made sure it is sent there.

To Elsa.

I hoped she will be there happy as I hoped.

I hoped she will see me in her dreams.

I did.