The sweetest nightmares (Loki&Elsa and Jack&Elsa function novel)

Part 22 - spirit of the north

Jack :

Next morning I woke up again to the sound of her going down the stairs.
Which from some reason,
Made me more alert and alive.
Almost like I was exited to meet her.
Exited?

-"Hello!" I said in Russian ,like I talked with her yesterday.
-"Hello. " She answered with a faint smile for some reason.
"How do you feel today? "
She continued as she's searching for a healing sings on my scars.
Happily, the blood that usually comes out almost stopped.
-"I feel great..... Thanks."
At least I can describe a shallow feeling such as pain and it's levels.....
-"Are you sure you had no much pain, even tonight? "
-"Yes. " I looked into her eyes to calm her down.

-"Okay,
Can I ask you something?
I saw some peculiarities while taking care of you......"
She tried to say it without having me insulted, but I just wondered how couldn't she see some!
-" Yha, sure. "
-"Why is your skin so cold? and why is your hair so white?"

-"Oh,
It's normal, I'm always colder than other people. Don't worry.
It's just a long story....."
I started laughing a bitter laght for the memories of how it all started.
We both knew,
or felt in her case,
That it was a hard thing to talk about so she respected the fact that I don't want to share.

We were quite for a while.
And I noticed that she was worried about something because her eyes started running in different expressions.

"Now, I need you to answer me very seriously - "
She breathed deeply and asked sad, terrified and hurted for some reason:

"Who are you? "

Her voice broke in the end of the sentence from the fear I saw in her eyes,
That were deep, blue as the sea, and in a deep agony I could not know it's reasons.
She prapered herself to any answer might come, she probably expected a bad one.
Maybe it was because of my beaten face but.....
There was something deeper there,
Like a deep brake in her heart that filled itself with fears.
'She is too worried.
Tell her the truth.'
My mind told me quickly.

-"My name is jack frost.
I am a guardian of a secret order that fights the evil forces.
I am known as the spirit of the north."

Wait. What? Oh great!
I just revealed my secret identity!
I'm such an idiot.....

But my actions didn't got her worries away yet.
'She is sad.
say something.' My mind advised me quickly again.

"Thanks for saving me, again."
I smiled and activate my talent to make her happy ,and release the stress sings off her face.
Why do I want to make her happy?
I don't think it's my guardian senses, or my gratitude.....

-"The least I can do,
Really. "
She replied with a smile.
I never saw something that was more beautiful then this smile.
Small, maybe a bit shy, but full of emotion that I admire, and light of happiness.
It's only sad that she doesn't smile more......
Why is she so sad anyways?
'Why are so sad?'
The annoying voice in my head asked me.
'Oh!
Where to begin......?!'
I replied to myself.
That wonderful moment disappeared with the smile she took away.
Even my talent didn't worked long enough to see a big smile and her eyes were still worried, She looked a bit happier.
And for some reason,
It made me feel lighter too......

She is a very nice person.
How can such a wonderful person be so sad?
After all, who will just help someone who looks already half dead of all those wounds? Who will even see.....?

Wait one second.....
She saw me all this time?!
-"Who are you? "
I asked after all this long time we were quite.

-"I am Elsa,
queen of Arandle, queen of ice."

She is Elsa?
I am cured by a queen?!
And talking in my language?
Oh man......
But it doesn't matter!
She was my mission all along!
Oh, thank the moon!

Wow, I'd never thought that she'll be so........beautiful.

No.
Wait.
Consitrate.....
-"Elsa, Queen of Arandle? "
I asked in her language this time, to show at least some honour to the woman that is standing in front of me,
completely surprised.
-"Yes. " She answered,
Happy to hear that I know her language, almost laghts of my existment......

Existment?
Did I just managed expressing existment?
She reacted like I did......
Yes!
Oh! I only wish I could feel it!
Sometimes I think that I'm close enough to feel it, but it's never it.
I'll never be able to feel something special.

I'm too cold for that.
In addition to this, a gurdian or a war hero like me shouldn't have any weakness or emotions to drown in.....
So after all,
It's useful not having emotions.
Especially now,
That I need to try to take control of myself next to a queen,
And protect her from any enemie or anything that's might hurt her emotions.

I got myself together after my thoughts and continued:
"I am Jack frost!
I'm a guardian, Elsa!
I came here to find you!"
-"Are you from the order of the big three?!"
-"Yes!"
I answered,
Restless to take her in my hands and fly with her back to the base if I only could.
-"Oh! I'm so sorry that I couldn't answer your letters,
I left my palace to a vacation in my ice castle and since then everything went.....
Wrong."

She got sad again for a mysterious reason.....
I just wanted her to see the existment I'm expressing so well, proudly.
-"I crossed frozen seas for you! "
I couldn't stop myself and expressed my emotion with a sharp movement of my arm as a flash got through my heart.
What was it?
Did I felt it?!
Please, let it be it!

-"Frozen what.....?"
Her question interrupted all my thoughts immediately.

Suddenly, a deep understanding hit her mind as she said:
"Sorry Jack,
You must rest and I must go now.
Goodbay. "
She ran out of the room.
-"Wait!"
I screamed weak of all what happened and from the wounds.

Oh! I hate to be so useless!
Always wanna save, help, improve,
But how can I now when she's already away.....?
Oh!
Why she got away?!
What did I said?
I didn't mean to harm her.....

No, no, no!
It's you!
You are getting out of your mind!
You are too cold,
Too angry,
Too siruse,
Too weird,
Drowning in the impossible death wish to be an emotion-able person you'll never be!!
Always not enough for yourself or for enyone else, and no one can see what a chaos is raging on inside!

I fell back on the bed,
Hitting my face with my hand.
Every second gets me deeper into the agony......
'What's wrong with me?!'
I said, even tho I wanted to screame it to the ceiling, but I too weak to....
I hate this situation!
To be useless,
with no one by my side to understand.
Alone in the dark.....

I get into that situation a lot in the last months.
But why?!
Oh, never mind.
I shouldn't get lost in my ridicules thoughts anyways......
I should get some sleep if I want to be able to give her full protection when I'll lead her to the camp, or fight again.
It will probably take over a month to cure it all;
Broken shoulder on the left,
Three long scars on my body,
Beaten face.....

Oh! I am such a trouble maker.
No. Do as she said. Sleep.