conversations with the moon || minsung

1

"today was stressful." han jisung sighed as he sat on top of a boulder. the moon shined down on him, illuminating the blue boy surrounded by trees. he looked up at the moon, shining brightly where the trees parted.

he took a cigarette between his lips, lighting it up. he took a long drag. he blinked back the tears that began fogging his vision. the blue boy sat there in silence for a while. he loved silence.

"i just wish i was good enough." he whispered to the moon. he took another long drag, letting the tears slowly fall. "no matter how hard i try, i will never be good enough." he vented to the moon.

"i try and i constantly fail everyone around me. i just wish i could find someone who will love me unconditionally. no matter what i do, he will be there. when i fall, he will be there to pick me up." he let out a sigh, taking another drag.

he decided to lay down on the rock, letting the blue strands fall over his face as he stared up at the moon. "i want someone to love. and to care for."

🌙

"hey sung!" his best friend, and platonic soulmate felix, smiled as he threw his arm around him.

"hey lix." jisung gave a small smile.

"you look so tired, what time did you go to sleep?" felix questioned.

"i didn't." jisung shrugged.

"sungs!" felix groaned. "you can't keep showing up to your lectures running on little to no sleep."

"lixie, i'll be fine, i promise." jisung chuckled.

"are you sure?" felix asked gently.

"yes, my secret lover." jisung giggled as he placed his hands on felix's shoulders. "i'll survive."

"fine, ill drop it." felix sighed.

"where are seungmin and jeongin?" jisung asked.

"neither of those bitches have lectures today." felix shook his head.

"lucky mother fuckers." jisung rolled his eyes. "are they still getting lunch with us?"

"you didn't sleep but you can't read the group chat." felix shook his head once again. "yes, they are."

"okay, and you know i never text." jisung laughed.

"trust me, we are all well aware." felix sighed.

"you still love me." jisung shrugged.

"as irritating as you can be, yes, i do." felix smiled softly.

"why don't we just...skip lectures today." jisung shrugged.

"sung your parents will kill you." felix shook his head.

"they're too busy to know. please lixie, just this once? i'm so tired." jisung frowned.

"fine. let's go over to seungmin and jeongins apartment." felix sighed, knowing his stubborn best friend would not change his mind about ditching.

"you do love me!" jisung smiled as they walked to their cars.

"okay okay, i'll see you when we get there." felix left a kiss on his best friends cheek before he walked to his own car.

jisung got into his car, yawning as he started it. he buckled up and backed out of the parking spot. once he got on the road, he began disassociating. his mind swarmed with distant memories.

memories of his mother holding him in her gentle embrace. and then her being not so gentle. memories of his father finally having his family's company passed down to him.

he didn't know how or when, but he found himself parked in front of his apartment building. he began to wonder why felix left before him this morning if they had arrived at the same time.

felix was his roommate so they'd normally go to school together if their lecture times aligned. he shrugged it off, getting out and heading up. his other two best friends, seungmin and jeongin, lived next door to them. none of them really stayed in their own apartments, enjoying each others company.

if you were likely to find any of the four friends by themselves, it was jisung. he hated people, but loved his best friends. they understand that sometimes he just needs his own space. he was the most introverted of the four, and social interaction drained him.

jisung opened the apartment door, taking his shoes off. he slipped on his house slippers and walked into the living room.

"sung you left before me, how'd i get up here first?" felix chuckled.

"i...don't really know." jisung shrugged. "what are you guys cooking?"

"pancakes." felix smiled.

"wait...seungmin and felix in the same kitchen..? innie let's run while we still can." jisung shuddered.

"let's go, quickly." jeongin nodded.

"you guys are so dramatic." seungmin rolled his eyes.

"the kitchen is going to blow up!" jeongin shouted.

"stop being a brat, it'll be fine.....what's that smell?" felix's face dropped.

"your burning pancakes." jisung snickered.

"FUCK!" felix and seungmin yelled simultaneously, quickly going to flip the pancakes. they stared in disappointment at the burned pancakes.

"what do you want me to order?" jisung chuckled.

"sounds like mcdonald's breakfast to me." jeongin smiled.

"i got it." jisung nodded, pulling up the delivery app.

"damnit." felix frowned as seungmin threw the pancakes, if you could still call them that, away.

"you already know what to order." seungmin sighed as he put the dirty pan in the sink.

"i got you guys." jisung smiled. "after, i answer my dads call." he sighed. "hello?"

"hey ji, are you busy?" his dad asked.

"no, my lecture for the morning was canceled." jisung responded.

"okay. there's a business party tonight. i will text you the address. if you need to, stop by to make sure your suit looks perfect. and please stop dying your hair blue, it makes me look bad." he finished speaking with a sigh.

"okay, my suit should already be pressed and hanging in my closet. and, i like my blue hair." you could hear jisungs frown through the phone.

"okay okay, gosh todays youth." he mumbled to himself. "i will see you tonight."

"i'll see you." jisung nodded as he ended the call.

"another business party for your ceo father?" jeongin asked.

"yeah. god, i don't want to be around all those people." jisung groaned. "i hate spending all night fake smiling and being bragged about."

"then stop trying so hard to be perfect." seungmin shook his head.

"never." jisung refused.

if there was one thing he craved to be, it was perfect. perfect body, perfect grades, perfect son. he wanted nothing more than to make his parents proud. he didn't care if he was mentally deteriorating, he just wanted them to be proud of him.

a/n: NEW BOOK ‼️‼️