season 4, episode 7 minefields chapter song : would've, could've, should've
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"But we cannot simply sit and stare at our wounds forever" - Haruki Murakami
Ever since the accident, Carmin had began to live by this quote. She didn't want to sit and stare at a wall blankly. She didn't want to give up on herself and her life. She got up and kept fighting.
There had been a few detours in her way, she'd got lost a few times but she had never given up. She made amends with her demons, she'd learned the difference between a friend and an enemy.
Carmin didn't want one big mistake to determine the rest of her life. She'd tried her best to help everyone move on from that day, some moved on quicker than others. It was only Tory and Robby, who still haven't recovered from that day.
Robby was angry, he was really good at hiding the fact that he was angry. That he was jealous that his father was to busy taking care of Miguel than his own son.
Tory was just as, if not more angry, angry at herself, angry at Sam, angry at the world. She was angry at herself for hurting one of probably the only good person she'd ever met. Tory was angry, angry that everyone else was moving on and she couldn't.
Everyone was moving forwards, trying not to let the past define them, anymore. Everyone was moving on. Carmin liked to believe she was far over it, and in all truthfulness she was over it.
Her hands didn't shake when she went to school. She'd grown more confident and sure of herself. She was becoming the same old Carmin, the one that she used to not like to think of.
The one before Miguel, her lackies had returned, even though Faith and Tory were always at her sides. Her 'I'm better than you' walk came back, and she didn't speak to anyone from Miyagi-Do.
Not even the one person she wanted to talk too.
Miguel watched her every day, they still had a few of the same classes together. His eyes would always head over to her whenever she walked into the classroom. She never looked at him, not once, it's like he wasn't even there anymore.
And everyday, he began to see the old her return, the her before they were best friends. And he wanted nothing more than to tell her off, to tell her that she needed to snap out of it. But he had to mind his business, because she wasn't his friend for him to tell her anything.
"Miguel.. you'll sit with.. Carmin."
Miguel snapped out of his thoughts, looking at Demetri with wide eyes. Carmin turned around to look at Miguel in complete disbelief, "Do you have a problem?" Mr. Bains questioned, seeing that neither of the duo made a move, "No, no, sir."
