Anne with an e- a new version of the story

Chapter 80 - Love and pain

GILBERT

Gilbert looked out of his bedroom window and saw the sun shining outside. It was a beautiful day, but it didn't cheer him up one bit. For a week now, everything had been dark inside him, and the pain never seemed to subside. Ever since Mary and Sebastian's party, when Anne had sent him away from Green Gables, the joy he had felt since they started dating had completely disappeared, and all that was left were the memories, which he also avoided now, as they only made his wounded soul bleed more.

He had never been the type to believe that someone could die for love, and had always considered it an exaggeration when he heard someone say it, but at that moment he was paying for his disbelief, and what had once been the reason for his happiness was now the sole reason for his misfortune.

God! What would he do without Anne? He had never felt so lost, so unmotivated to continue with his plans. It was as if in a second everything he held dear had been stolen from him, and all that was left in its place was that huge hole in the left side of his chest that he had once called his heart

Gilbert turned away from the window, looked at his medical books scattered on the bed and sighed dejectedly. He had tried to study a little, to keep his mind occupied, because his thoughts were making him dizzy, but he couldn't read a line without remembering Anne's hurt look, the way she had rejected his affection and how she hadn't listened to his desperate pleas, and he had finally given up when he realized that she wouldn't give in. However, Gilbert had hoped that Anne would think better of it and come to him and tell him that everything was all right and that she still loved him as before, but as the days went by this didn't happen and he saw his hopes die one by one, leaving him with the feeling that he had failed her, failed himself and that there was nothing he could do about it.

When he returned home that day, the party was in full swing. People were dancing and laughing, totally oblivious to his suffering. He passed Diana who was talking to Jerry, and the look of contempt she threw at him made him feel so ashamed of himself that he couldn't stand to be among the people there any longer. So he took refuge in his room, not bothering to turn on the lights, because he wanted to be alone and the dimness of the room gave him a certain comfort.

However, he didn't remain without company for long, because Mary had noticed when he had entered the house looking tormented and had gone after him to find out what had happened, finding him lying there in the dark and staring into nothingness. She turned on the light and seeing the state he was in, Mary sat down next to him in the quiet and asked:

- Gilbert, what happened? Where's Anne? - He closed his eyes for a moment, trying to find the strength to answer that simple question, but which made his agony increase because of the answer he would have to give Mary:

- It's over, Mary. - He said in a voice so low that he sounded like a little boy talking and not a man of almost nineteen.

- What's over, darling? - She moved closer, stroking his hair, encouraging him to continue talking.

- My engagement to Anne. - Now his voice was only a whisper and Mary had to strain her ears to hear what he was saying.

- But why? You looked so well at the party. - Mary asked, astonished by what Gilbert had told her. He took a deep breath, trying to put into words what had happened, and trying once again to understand the incomprehensible. In a few words, he told Mary what had culminated in all his desolation. When he had finished, he felt empty and powerless, as if someone had drained all the air from his lungs, leaving him to die of asphyxiation.

- Gilbert, things can't go on like this. You have to convince Anne that it wasn't your fault. - Mary was unhappy with what had happened and held Gilbert's hands between hers to support him.