Anne with an e- a new version of the story

Part 28- Words blowing in the wind

GILBERT

As he walked to his  farm,  Gilbert tried to order his thoughts. With every step he took, he felt more and more insecure.  He shouldn't have pushed Anne like that to say how she felt about him, he had been carried away by jealousy, and now his conscience weighed on his guilt.

When he accompanied her to the book club, his only intention was to talk to her and make sure that they were in the same harmony, and that her feelings were the same, but Anne's stubbornness in not talking about what she felt had left him so out of his mind that he got impatient, and had taken an attitude that could put at risk everything he had achieved with her until now.

He didn't regret kissing her, because the experience had been more incredible than all the kisses they had exchanged before. It was as if their souls had met and recognized that they belonged to each other. Anne's softness at the touch of his fingers had completely enveloped him, and the flames that had risen to each caress made his heart explode with love for her. He could see that she had corresponded in the same way, and had followed him without thinking about that escalation of emotions that had left them both breathless and longing for more.

He knew he wanted her in her entirety and needed her in his life, those moments when he held her in his arms showed Gilbert that Anne was the girl of his dreams, the only one capable of making him vibrate in a way he had never imagined. It was amazing how soon his anger had turned into something totally overwhelming. He wanted to punish her, force her to confess that he was the one she wanted and that no one else was part of her thoughts, but he had succumbed to Anne's charms and had forgotten everything, wishing only to have her with him.

But although he had the answer to what she felt for him physically, the doubts still bothered him. Did she have another person in her heart, despite the physical attraction that she felt for him being powerful? Perhaps it was foolish of him, but he had to hear her say that she loved him, otherwise he would never feel completely safe.

. He had always been thoughtful in his actions, acting calmly in any kind of situation, never losing his common sense. But since he had met Anne, he had become a totally fickle person and no longer recognized himself. His unbridled jealousy for Anne had become a constant part of his life, for it was enough to see her with Cole to make his blood boil with rage, he didn't want anyone else to touch her, only to imagine another boy kissing her, he felt his skin tingling, his vision blurring, making him lose his reason. He needed to control himself to find his point of balance again, or he'd end up pushing Anne away, and he couldn't bear the thought of never seeing her again, for she was his ray of sunshine and not having her would be like living in darkness.

An absurd fear made Gilbert tremble. What if he had already lost her? What if his anxiety had brought her to a point where she no longer wanted to be at her side? His will was to run to Green Gables, break into her room again, hug her, to ask forgiveness for pushing her so hard, but he knew he shouldn't do that now. He would have to trust his instincts and believe that what she felt for him was strong enough to overcome that moment of insecurity he had, or he would die of grief.

He came home and found Bash on the balcony drinking his favorite tea. When he saw the boy, he toasted him with his outspoken smile so well known by Gilbert, but he got serious as soon as he realized the state of mind he was in.

- What happened, Gilbert? You seem to be upset about something.

- I'm feeling awful. I think I made a huge mistake and I don't know how to fix it. - Gilbert replied with a deep sigh.

- Does this have to do with Anne? - Bash wanted to know

- Yes. I think I've ruined everything, my friend, and I don't know what to do.