Sucker for you

31

Apo.

The weight of his hands on me followed me around like a bad omen.

You see Tong and I have been inseparable for years on end.

Except for the one time I left the orphanage.(Dark days)

There was no way I was going to let anything happen to him.

But what about what your heart wants?

I pushed those thoughts away.

What my heart wants didn't matter at the moment..He was my love..my other half but I still had to..I didn't have any other choice.

I love him so much it hurts..it hurts that I dragged him into my fucked up life.

I inhaled repeatedly trying to get rid of the incoming nausea.

Why was my life so bleak?

As if all the shit he pulled when I was younger wasn't enough.

My feet felt heavy as I walked towards the clubhouse.

I shouldn't have come.

The voice in my head was persistent.

It's all your fault.

I felt like screaming in frustration but I had no energy left in me.

I was weak.

You are weak.

"Shut up!''

The passersby gawked at me as if I was crazy.

Don't people have conversations with the voices in their head?

Such a bummer.

They're missing out on a lot of fun.

Mile has a lot of bodyguards..and backup.

His security is top tier.

But Tong has only me..we have each other and I'm not going to let anything happen to him because of me.

I had to end this soon.

The lump in my throat grew bigger as I walked up the stairs trying to look as normal as I could.

I didn't want them to know anything was up.More like I didn't want him to know.

"Hey Baby..you're back early..come here I missed you,''

I hate myself for doing this.

The smile on his face..the happiness radiating from him utterly destroyed me.

I almost broke down sobbing but I had to keep up the act.

I had hit record on the voice recorder immediately he opened the door and stashed the phone in my back pocket.

His smile immediately dropped the moment I smiled back.(more like pretended to smile back)

"Apo baby what's the matter?''

Fucking hell..there goes my faking everything plan..but I still got it under the bag right? Just rip off the bandaid and get it over with.

"Nothing I'm just exhausted,''

He grabbed my hand holding it in front of him.

They were the hand prints that monster left on me while threatening me and ended up twisting my wrists in the process.

"Who did this?''

All the light from his eyes disappeared and was replaced by a cold hard gaze.

"Nothing I just-''