Purpled in Hermitcraft

Chapter 57

Author's Note: Sorry about the lack of updates. I've been sick for the last 2 weeks and only just felt well enough to write. Just a heads up there are mentions of suicide and worthlessness all throughout the chapter if you're triggered by that then I suggest that you click off. 

Purpled groaned as he opened his eyes. He didn't want to wake up ever again, especially not now. He didn't want to deal with the aftermath of his actions. He could see how X, Ponk, and Punz were looking at him last night.

Bad had also appeared halfway through the night thanks to Kristian, so that took some attention away from him, but not for long. He had stayed away from the mass groups, but he always felt a pair of eyes watching him. Worried about him.

He was pretty sure that Scar didn't know and he hoped that it stayed that way. Purpled carefully extracted himself from the middle of the hermit+Dreamsmp pile. He made sure that he didn't step on anyone's hands on accident.

He made it through the tangle of limbs and towards the kitchen. He let out a sigh of relief and buried his face in his hands. He really didn't want to be here. He knew that the moment Punz woke up they would talk.

Purpled felt something rub against his leg. He looked and saw Dogchamp looking up at him. Purpled sat down with his back leaning against the fridge and pet him. Dogchamp curled up on his lap.

Purpled absentmindedly ran his fingers through Dogchamp's fur while staring straight ahead. He doesn't get why the hermits have done anything that they have. They had no reason to even allow him to live on their server, but they have.

He flinched when he felt someone hand on his shoulder. He looked up and saw the worried face of Scar. "Are you okay?" he asked.

"Yea, I just got lost in my own thoughts." Scar sat down next to Purpled.

"What were you thinking about?" Scar wrapped his arm around Purpled's shoulder. Purpled had to stop himself from leaning into the embrace. He didn't deserve any of Scar's kindness. He killed Scar with his own hands.

Purpled didn't respond to Scar's question. He kept his gaze fixed on the floor in front of him. Scar tightened his grip on Purpled's shoulders, keeping him grounded. "I'm not mad at you. I'm just worried."

Purpled tensed. Scar always knew what Purpled was thinking. "Why?" he forced out. "You should hate me. I killed you," he said, keeping his voice down, being mindful of the others.

"That wasn't you." Scar said.

Purpled shook his head. "I still have those memories. It was still my own hands."

"Hey, look at me," Scar said. There was a softness in his voice that made Purpled look at him. Scar eyes were filled with love and concern. "Think about it this way. Do you blame Ponk and Punz for what they did?"

Purpled shook his head. "No, but this is different. It's-"

"How?" Scar cut him off. "How is this any different? You were all controlled by the same thing. You were all forced to do things you didn't want to. How is their situation any different than yours?"

Purpled opened his mouth to resound, but nothing came out. He didn't have a good defense against that and Scar knew it. Instead, Purpled leaned his head against the fridge and stared at the ceiling.

Scar didn't say anything, but held him close. He heard someone approaching the kitchen. Purpled snapped his gaze to them. It was Ponk. Once Ponk noticed them, he asked, "How are you guys doing?"

Purpled shrugged. He really didn't know. "I've better, but I've also been worse," Scar said.

"You can say that again. I'm just happy that it's finally over. Although, we need to talk," Ponk said, pointing at Purpled.