Like A Villain - I Love Noah Sebastian-

19. Dont Let Me Go

Noah had already been gone one week and it felt like a decade. I followed a Bad Omens fan page to see the hype of how the European tour was going.
Their first show in Germany went well, and there was a flood of live videos taken from the audience. Part of me wanted to avoid it, but I had to watch it anyway.

There it was.

Their new single with Poppy that was  blowing up fast. I kept scrolling through countless videos of her live performance, wearing a skin tight body suit and her hair in pigtails. Noah was in his infamous ski mask and they were performing together flawlessly. I watched closely as she kept crossing the stage to try and get closer to him, but he remained active and sashayed from one side to the other, engaging the audience.

That's my boy.

I was keeping busy, writing multiple articles hoping that the days would go quickly until they were home again. Noah and I tried to talk daily, but it was slightly difficult because of the time difference. He was already saying how tired he was and he was having trouble sleeping on the tour bus this time around. The routine of tour life was hard to get used to between the sleeping patterns, the interviews, photos and radio talks. The traveling to one city to another by bus meant long days and Noah felt like he could only sleep a few hours at a time. I was worried about him.

I woke up just about an hour ago and was having my coffee and looking over emails when Noah called this time. I didn't like the tone in his exhausted voice...he was just different today.

"Hi baby...it's almost 3 o'clock here...did you just wake up?"

"Eh no I've been up for a while. How are you, love? It's so good to hear your voice. I'm sorry I missed your call last night, I was asleep already."

"No worries babe. I'm just hanging out with Folio. We're waiting to do an interview before soundcheck," he paused. "I'm waiting on Moriah too...I guess they want her here for some questions about the new single..." I cringed when I heard him say her name. I think it irked me even more that he used her real name to address her. It felt more personal and I despised it. Although this wasn't good news to me, I still wanted to see why he sounded so down.

"Noah...is everything okay?"

He paused for a long time. I thought the line dropped.

"Babe?" I asked.

"Honestly....no....I'm not ..."My heart squeezed with an ache in my chest. "I'm tired, Eve. And I fucking miss you...like you have no idea how much." He exhaled and I felt my heart sink.

"I'm so sorry Noah," I answered quietly trying not to cry. "I miss you too. What can I do to make you feel better?"

"Don't worry about me," he sighed. "I'll be fine. I'm just having a rough day. " I felt terrible that I couldn't just run to him right now and hug him.

"Is that all it is babe?" I asked him cautiously having a feeling there was something else.

"You know me so well." He chuckled a little ironically and I heard him take a breath. "I can't lie to you Evie....I uh...I had a few drinks yesterday...I thought it was going to help me sleep for a little while. My meds aren't working, I can barely sleep on the stupid fucking bus....at first I thought it was jet lag but it's been a week..." I heard the weakness in his voice, "I'm sorry Eve...I'm so so sorry."

"Okay, listen...I think you need to call the doctor and tell him the meds aren't working right now. This isn't healthy Noah...I also think if you need to that you guys should cancel a few things so you can actually try to rest during the day." I ran my fingers through my hair worried to all hell and feeling so helpless. He was doing so good without his drinking and now I was scared he would spiral, especially with me not there with him.