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***NSFW***
The next morning, it was rather early and I was instantly hit with nausea. I was still occasionally getting morning sickness, but I also think the anxiety of what happened the night before got to me again. I rapidly got out of bed and went for the door, noticing Noah asleep on the floor, his back slouched against the wall. That couldn't have been comfortable.
Noah took me by surprise, as I definitely didn't hear him come in last night. I was assuming one of the guys drove him home, but at this point, I didn't care.
He suddenly opened his eyes, caught off guard by the door and I couldn't manage to say anything to him right now needing to get to the toilet. Normally, Noah would come in with me and attend to me in every way. He would hold my hair and rub my back, reminding me he was there to comfort me. There was no having that anymore. I locked the bathroom door behind me to make sure he couldn't come in even if he tried, and I released everything I needed to. After I got sick, I brushed my teeth and washed my face, feeling a little refreshed. I was also stalling, being real slow, knowing Noah was probably waiting for me. I was uncomfortable, and hurt, replaying his words in my head.
"...that's why I don't sleep with you...you're annoying..."
That confirmed everything I needed to know about his true relationship with Kayla. It felt like I was trying to exist with daggers buried deep in my heart...but as much as I felt like giving up on everything, I would never. I loved this baby growing inside of me more than I ever loved anyone. And I knew I would never be alone again. I would have this little one that would love me, and need me...it would be okay one day, even if it took forever to heal. Eventually I came out of the bathroom, relieved that Noah was nowhere to be found. I quietly went back into the bedroom. I climbed back into bed, my back against the headboard with my legs crossed, pulling my laptop into my lap to start looking for apartments. I would have to spend some savings on moving, but the last thing I want to do is continue to depend on a man that clearly didn't love me.
It had been about a half an hour, and I failed to realize Noah was in the other bathroom showering and trying to pull himself together. His head was pounding and he felt like death, but he knew that in a way he deserved that. He got dressed and I noticed him hesitantly approaching our bedroom and he rested against the door way, nervous to bother me.
"Eve? Did you want to talk?" He asked me quietly. I continued to type away at the application, trying to process all of the emotions I was feeling in this moment, unsure of how to answer. I was distraught, shocked, confused, angry, everything. Most of all, betrayed.
"About what exactly? Hmm?" I asked, clearly annoyed with his presence. I stopped my typing to look at him.
"About your past with Kayla?" My words were sharp like a knife. His eyes looked away from me, looking to the ground, ashamed of himself for messing up again. "Or maybe you want to talk about how you lied to my face...or MAYBE you want to discuss how I found you with your tongue in her fucking mouth?!" I couldn't stay calm, as much as I was trying to. My eyes welled up with tears all over again, remembering how I felt when I saw them like that. "Clearly I was meant to be your rebound after her...and I'm not going to marry you as a rebound."
