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My due date came and went, and this last month was the hardest out of all of them. I was completely exhausted but had a hard time getting comfortable enough to sleep and I couldn't wait to get this baby out of me. Being heavily pregnant like this was wearing me down and Noah hovering over me for the last couple weeks was frustrating considering he wouldn't let me do anything on my own. After the wedding was done and over with, the doctor made it very clear that I needed to keep it easy on too many activities. I was a high risk pregnancy and being careful in this last trimester was vital for a healthy delivery.
Noah had a lot of time on his hands, wanting to make sure I was following the doctor's orders. He was extremely attentive, but he was also very fussy if I was trying to do too much. Naturally being an independent woman, it was difficult for me to deal with having so many rules and I was over it. Since I was well past my due date, the doctors gave me a date about a week away, planning to induce labor. Noah and I had already packed an emergency hospital bag, wanting to be prepared ahead of time so that we didn't forget anything in the moment. It was a matter of just counting down the days now.
Noah and I were laying down in bed together, considering this is where I had been spending the last couple days. It was driving me absolutely insane, but it definitely helped that Noah was there to talk to and keep me company. I was lying on my back and Noah on his side, facing me, his warm hand gently rubbing my stomach.
"You know," I started, needing to confess, "as much as I am tired of being pregnant, I'm really going to miss times like this and the little kicks from the baby.
"Yeah?" He smiled. "It's just crazy to think that pretty soon we're going to be a little family of three. It went so fast didn't it?" He took a breath and I knew Noah way too well not to notice that he looked slightly concerned.
"What's the matter baby?" I reached over and intertwined my fingers with his hair gazing over his facial expression with worry.
"I'm just nervous, Evie." He exhaled feeling relieved he said it aloud but he was trying to keep it to himself all this time, knowing I was probably more anxious than he was. He was trying to be strong for the both of us."What if something goes wrong or...what if I'm not a good dad?" He sighed.
It was heartbreaking seeing Noah so worried, and I felt bad he was having these thoughts. I just wanted to comfort him. The last few days, my thoughts were also drowning me with fear. I couldn't stop thinking of every possibility.
What if there were complications during the delivery...
What if the baby gets sick and we don't know what to do?
What if the baby starts choking?
What if something happens to me in the delivery room and I don't make it...
The what ifs were exhausting and just kept coming.
I held his face and gazed into his eyes, wanting him to believe everything I had to say.
