42. I Wanna Feel Love Again

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Having Noah by my side during the pregnancy was the most beautiful thing to watch

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Having Noah by my side during the pregnancy was the most beautiful thing to watch. He was so attentive. He never missed a single doctors appointment, was constantly cooking for me to make sure I eat, and making sure I was getting my rest too. He was being the great partner I needed.

As I was approaching the middle of the pregnancy, the doctor told me I needed to take things easy and Noah insisted I stop working all together and stay home to stay off my feet. It was adorable that he was constantly looking out for me, but at the same time I was always a free-spirit, so it was a little hard for me to have rules and regulations.

Reaching all of the milestones was a journey in itself. I constantly looked forward to the ultrasounds, loving seeing our baby change so quickly. It was surreal to think Noah and I really made another human life, perfectly half of each of us. We were keeping the gender a surprise, and Noah and I would always playfully argue about whose guess would be correct the delivery date. Noah was convinced it was going to be a boy, but I was really wanting a girl. Of course, we would be happy either way just as long as the little peanut was healthy. Every day I would day dream about who the baby would look like and what their personality would turn out to be like as they got older. This was really happening.

This morning I was laying in a quiet room with Noah still sleeping peacefully next to me. I had already woken up a little while ago but I was still being lazy and relaxing with my eyes closed. Suddenly I felt a weird sensation in my belly. I opened my eyes wondering if that was normal and I put my hand over my baby bump. I felt it again. The fluttering sensation, my eyes widening with pleasant surprise!

"Oh my god! Noah!" I sat up and I reached over and shook his shoulder since his back was to me.

"Hmm?" He muttered sleepily, started by my sudden outburst.

"Noah! Get up! I think the baby's kicking!" I confessed excitedly finally figuring out what it was. Without hesitation, Noah sat up and turned to me. I giggled at his crazy bed head and his squinted eyes. He smiled at me tiredly, looking absolutely adorable.

"Come here." I grabbed his hand and put it over my belly. We both paused, waiting. Noah frowned a little after a long moment. "I don't feel anything ..." he said. He leaned down and gently talked to my belly quietly, the sight of it melted my heart.

"Hey little baby. It's your daddy. Me and your mommy already love you so much." He said, gently rubbing my skin then planted a gentle kiss. I reached down and ran my fingers through Noah's hair, admiring the scene before me. I was so emotional with my pregnancy hormones that I truly almost wanted to cry with how touching it was to hear Noah's words to the baby. In another moment, we felt the subtle vibration of another kick. Noah's eyes lit up and he smiled widely. I grinned back at him and a small laugh escaped me, my eyes welling up with happy tears. Even though I had always day dreamed about what Noah and I's future might look like, I never actually believed we would get to this stage in life. It was absurd how different your life could be in just a year or two, and it was still astonishing to me that we were actually going to be parents.

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