Numb to the feeling

Lost

Sorry for any confusion or errors in advance.

R

I finally went home and put my coat on the sofa. The smell of chicken then appeared in my nostrils. Hungry I join the table where everyone was present. I sit down and the chair makes a crackling sound for the nth time.

"Still didn't change this chair ?" I asked annoyed.

"Still too big for this poor chair." Felix answered and I showed him my middle finger.

Everyone started eating in a good atmosphere, only I couldn't be. Since this morning I haven't stopped thinking about what happened.

I was about to take the pepper when my hand touched the burning dish.

"Fuck !" I screamed in pain, I got up and put my hand under the cold water immediately. I lean on the sink while exhaling, waiting for the water to act on my hand.

I noticed Jeongyeon getting up and making her way to me.

"Hey you good ?" She asked worried while putting her hand on my shoulder.

I sighed and closed my eyes still my hand under the cold water. I looked up in her eyes.

"I, I don't know...Something happened this morning." I said looking down lost in my thoughts. She got closer and pat my back like when I was younger.

"Hey you know you can tell me everything, even now." She says with these sincere eyes. I sighed and decided to tell her.

"Yeji." I said removing my hand from the cold water and taking the tea towel to surround it around it. Her eyes changed emotions into surprise, she remained silent and let me continue.

I leaned my back on the counter with my hands holding my weight.

"I saw her, i mean not really but i'm sure it's her. Plus her boss called her Yeji, she was wearing a cap so i didn't really see her face but i could recognize her in every fucking universe." I said in a rush looking at the ground trying to remember everything about her.

"And what happened ? Did y'all talk ?" She asked confused.

"No, after her boss called her she disappeared in the kitchen and I was late for work." I said while straightening up.

"What's your planning to do ?" She asked while cleaning her dishes.

"I don't know." I sighed and she nodded. I went back to my chair to continue to eat.

***

It's around 10pm and I decided to light a cigarette and go to my balcony. Feeling the smoke going inside my throat then expel with my breath in the air leaving a grey cloud.

I decided to call my best friend after a long time.

"Shin ! Damn man I thought you never gonna call." I heard Chaeryeong on the other line and I chuckled.

"I missed you too, you know i've been really busy lately." I said putting back my cigarette between my lips.

"Busy handcuffing some girls uh ?" She said laughing and I insulted her. "No don't worry i know you work hard Shin, and you know I'm really proud of you. So something to tell me or you just missed me ?"

"Thanks I know Chaer, actually yeah there's something I need to tell you." I heard a hm so I decided to continue.

"Yeji and I met this morning." I said playing with my cigarette with my thumb.

I heard nothing so I thought the line cut off. "Hey you're here ?" I asked looking at my phone and putting back to my ear.

"Uh yeah yeah I'm here, that was just very sudden I almost fell of my chair."

After telling her the whole story we talked again for hours until I felt my eyes closing without my conscience.

We said goodbye and I hung up, crushing my cigarette on the balcony barrier to turn it off.

After this big day, I changed in my pajamas and I jumped into my bed cracking slats, oops maybe I am too big lol.

Closing my eyes, I thought back to Chaer and I's discussion and what she told me.

"Go talk to her, maybe it can help you too." She said.

"But what if she's really good and don't want to see me ?" I asked not confident about this.

"Then do it for you, y'all are adults now. I'm sure you can handle that very well." I sighed and hummed.

Then I'll go talk to her, I didn't like how I finished things with her and I have to apologize. I need to so I can be at peace with myself.

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