Khamosh Mohabbat

Part 13

As the first rays of sunlight filtered through the window of the room, Hamza stirred from his sleep. Blinking away the remnants of slumber, he became acutely aware of a soft weight nestled against him. Confusion clouded his mind momentarily until he realized that Maya lay curled up in his arms. They must have come closer while sleeping, cause his arms were also encircling her.

The warmth of her body pressed against his, stirred a myriad of emotions within him, emotions that he had been trying to bury beneath the facade of circumstances. For a fleeting moment, he allowed himself to revel in the sensation of her proximity, the gentle rise and fall of her breaths syncing with his own. He instinctively tightened his arms around her; he liked the feel of her in his arms. His mind negating, this is not wrong, she is your wife, but then reality crashed down upon him like a wave crashing against the shore. His mind raced back to Ayesha, guilt gnawed at his conscience, threatening to unravel the delicate balance he had managed to maintain thus far.

With a heavy sigh, Hamza carefully extricated himself from Maya's embrace, careful not to disturb her peaceful slumber. As he watched her sleeping form, a pang of guilt tugged at his heart for her too. This house, this room has stirred guilt trips for him, he had been clouded by Ayesha and her emotional turmoil, but coming here reminded him about the promise that he made to his dying Mamu.

Ayesha was his desire, but Maya was his duty and commitment. He was so confused in his head, that he once again turned and looked at this sleeping beauty. Had Ayesha not been in his life, he would have accepted Maya, because class difference does not matter to him. But Ayesha was very much there!

With a boggled mind, he resolved to maintain the boundaries he had set for himself. Silently slipping out of bed, he made his way out of the room.

He went out into the garden and stood bathed in the golden glow of the morning sun, grappling with the conflicting emotions swirling within him. The rain had stopped sometime during the night, and the sky was very clear.

He was so lost in his thoughts that he didn't hear her approaching him until he heard her calling his name for the first time,

"Hamza!" seemed like she was saying his name again, maybe he missed the first time she called him.

He didn't reply, just turned to look at her, with questioning eyes.

"Aap nashta kya karain ge, kion ke jo khala banain ge woh aap nahi khain ge." She asked him, looking anywhere but him.

Since yesterday, he could feel her to be more confident, or you can say more determined as if how he behaves or what he says does not matter to her anymore. During the car ride yesterday, he felt that she did not even acknowledge his presence in the car. They hardly exchanged any words except for a few lines that he said, or she said, and he could see that she was also avoiding looking at him.

But then, he thought, she was justified by the way he had behaved with her since their wedding night, she couldn't be any different.

What astonished him was, how can a Ganwaar from a small town be so composed and confident. Women like that are usually very uncouth loud, and not mannered. But it was different about her. Kher! He shrugged his thoughts away, and replied,

"Main kuch nahi khaon ga, tum ghar band kar lo, humain foran nikalna hai." He was unusually polite, but it didn't matter to her.

She turned and walked inside, she started to close the house. Hamza changed into his clothes which were dry now, and went out to smoke while Aslam brought, the car to the gate.

Maya locked the house and gave the keys to the neighbor who was standing at the gate to see her off. She wiped a lone tear from her eye, gave a final look at the house and sat in the car.