My Favorite Enemy /2shin•Ryuna/

◍ Chapter 30 ◍

"Please eat right now, Yuna. You are skinny and pale." I heard Lia pleading. She is holding my hand and caressing it. Her caring touch did help to ease my heavy feelings, but it was not enough.

Why did I do that? Why did I say that?

I did not dare to look at Lia, who was sitting beside me now.

After what happened yesterday, I locked myself inside my condo. Lia was able to access my condo because I gave her the code.

"Come on, if you want to fix things properly. Please start by fixing yourself."

"Please leave me alone, Lia."

"No, how can you expect me to leave you here? Look at yourself..."

"How was she?" I ask Lia, and her eyes soften.

"Do not worry, Yeji and Chaeryeong are with her."

"What about him?"

"He is doing well but keeps asking about you. He's worried."

After hearing that, I decided to keep quiet again. I am such a horrible person because I love them while also hurting them.

I know this will happen but still, I don't know what I'm going to do. I am selfish, I know, but I am only human.

To Kai, I know I already broke up with him, but I lied to him. I deceived him. I took advantage of him. I just reasoned out his disparagement as a boyfriend when the truth is that I used him then cheated on him.

I caused him pain.

To be honest, I loved him first, but Ryujin has won my heart. And I became afraid of that. Ryujin is a person who weakened me by those things she did to me. Those simple gesture she did to keep our relationship, bothering and caring for me made me fall for her.

I knew even from the starts that she likes me. I saw it in her glistening eyes, felt it in her warm touch, and believe her sincere words.

But as a terrible human being, I hurt her too. I got scared that once we get together, there's no certainty that we will not fight and ends up in breaking each other's heart. Not only that, but loving someone of the same gender is considered taboo. And it may be cause of losing her in my life.

The idea of telling to her "Yes but we can't be together because we're both girls!" is completely ridiculous.

I am not afraid of loving her and being a sinner for her. However, I am afraid of losing her because other people are opposed to that kind of love.

I want to keep her forever, but I am losing her.

I am losing her.

I am losing him.

I am losing me.

I really do not know what to do.

My senses back when I felt warm palms, cupped my cheeks, and wiped away tears that would not stop flowing.

"I am just here, all right?" Lia said, and she is now crying alongside me.

She hugged me, and I became completely lost in Lia's embrace, allowing all of my hidden emotions to be released.