Seventeen Imagines

S.Coups

Imagine for unacceptablemon thanks for being so kind x

CAUTION: self-harm {and total sadness because I'm Satansoo in another form}
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The stress. That's all you could think about recently. You'd been constantly revising for your exams. You knew your parents would kill you if you did bad. Each night this week you had been up until 4:00 o'clock in the morning, trying to memorise all the information. You practically felt like crying. To make it worse your boyfriend, Seungcheol was never at home due to being the leader of Seventeen. You missed him. He was always good at taking good care of you.

Searching through your books you couldn't seem to find the information your were looking for. Grabbing all your book, you picked them up and threw them at the wall. You'd had enough.

You laid down on your bed and scrunched yourself up in a foetal position. You could just imagine the looks on your parents faces when you got your results. Devastation. Anger. Hate. Will they ever forgive you?

Frustrated tears ran down your face. Turning your body, face first in to your pillow you screamed. Why were you so upset? It wasn't like you. You just wanted to feel relief. Something to relieve your stress. A thought crossed your mind, but you viciously tucked it away. You were horrified that you'd even thought about it.

You got up and wiped the tears that were making their way down your face. You picked up your books and sat back down. You looked for the page you were working on. You couldn't remember the page number. Anger was filling your head and heart, and you couldn't control it. You let out a single nod. You willed yourself to walk to the bathroom.

When you reached the family bathroom you rushed inside and locked the door. The thoughts from earlier made its way to the front of your mind. Why you'd come to this decision, you'll never know. But you knew that it was the right thing.

Reaching a shaky hand up to one of the cabinets you searched. Once you found the item you were looking for, you let out a quiet sob. With your back to the tiled wall, you slid yourself so that you were sitting on the floor.

You sat looking at the small blade, which was held in your frail hand. You had little clue as to what you had to do, but you'd heard that it was meant it give you relief. Relief the word was a pure paradise.

Gripping the blade you let your fingers do the rest. The sight of blood made you dizzy. It was only a little bit, but it was enough to make you feel sick. You suddenly became very light headed.

"Y/N? Are you home? I just wanted to check up on you! Where are you? I've missed yo-"

You lifted your head up slightly, trying to focus on the boy that had walked into your bathroom. He looked a lot like Seungcheol.

"Y/N! What are you doing!?" The boy, you figured had to be Seungcheol, ran to you and fell by your side. He grabbed your wrist and looked at it closely.

"You did this to yourself?!" The anger was evident on his face. You never meant for any of this. You didn't want him to hate you. Tears, yet again, formed in your eyes. Your vision was becoming blurrier by the minute.

Seungcheol held you wrist, tears were making their way down his cheeks. Was this what relief feels like? Seungcheol reached for your other hand and ripped the blade from it. He threw it somewhere but you couldn't look to see where. Holding your other hand he wrapped a towel around it.

His voice was soft but he avoided eye contact. "Hold your hand up in the air. It will lessen the flow of blood." Seeing you didn't have the strength he took matters into his own hand, holding your arm up himself. "Y/N, say something to me please!?" He sobbed and it broke your heart into a thousand pieces.

"Dizzy." Your head flopped onto his shoulder and he flinched.

You managed to look up at his face. There were worry lines across his face. He quickly took out his phone. He dialled a number in and he waited. His breathing came out sharp.

"Y/N, try and keep your eyes open for me-. Ah, hello." He said into the phone. You eyes started to close. "Call for an ambulance, quickly..."

You didn't hear anything else. You blacked out.

-

You woke up to bright lights. Your eyes stung at the sudden change in fluorescence. You reached up to rub your eyes, but then you saw the bandage wrapped around your wrist. You blinked confused, then it all came flooding back. What a failed attempt at relief.

You looked around the room and realised you were in a hospital room. Your eyes got drawn straight to the boy sitting in the corner. Seungcheol was asleep on one of the armchairs. He'd been so good to you, you start to cry. At the sound, Seungcheol awoke and jumped up from his seat.

"Y/N? Are you really awake?" He ran to you and wrapped his arms around you. "Don't you ever do something like that to me again. I thought I'd lost you. You'd cut near a vital vein. You could have died. Died, Y/N. How do you think I was going to survive without you? I try to tell myself that it's fine, your alive. But a question keeps popping up and it's only one word long. Why?"

"I don't k-know." You cough, your voice was hoarse. Seungcheol got up and fetched you a cup of water. You swallowed and thanked him. "I was stressed. Stressed with school exams. Stressed from missing you and my parents. Your my life and I miss you so m-much. I love you, and sometimes I question whether you actually feel the same way." You look down ashamed of yourself.

"I wouldn't be here right now if I didn't love you! Please don't ever do this again, I wouldn't be able to live with myself if anything happened to you." He kissed the top of your head and you smiled. "Promise me?"

"I promise. I'm sorry."

"As long as your okay that's all I care about. I love you so much."

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I apologise in advance if I've offended anyone by writing this. There is a warning at the start. I sincerely apologise. I'm very inexperienced with the topic of self harm. Sorry. ~ Ffion