Daniel Howell Imagines

No Strings Attatched?

A/N: HEY GUYS! I feel like I haven't updated in ages. Anyways, for those who don't know, I have a fanfic book on wattpad called 'Keeping Secrets' and the first couple of parts are out right now, so if you're interested PLEASE go check it out :)

Prompt: You're in a friends wirh benefits relationship with Dan, but you're in love with him

Word Count: 1124 words

Your P.O.V

Love. Love? Is that what I'm feeling? Is this love? How is it that love can hurt so much? Knowing that the person you absolutely adore doesn't love you back. Maybe it's because of the kind of relationship that Dan and I have, or maybe it's because of the fact that he's my best friend and I know him better than he knows himself. How come love hurts like this, it's like my brain as at war with itself. One minute I'm telling myself that I don't need this kind of relationship in my life, this no strings attached bullshit, but then when the time comes, those feelings just come back and I can feel them getting stronger and stronger with each encounter that we have.

Looking up at a white ceiling, feeling like shit for doing this, is becoming a boring routine, and when I say boring, I don't actually mean boring, I just mean, I'm tired. I'm tired of feeling like I'm being used. Agreeing to a sexual relationship (and it's only strictly sex) with my best friend was probably the worst decision I have ever made as a human being. I guess love does hurt, and only love can really hurt like how it does right now. Because this hurts, and every time we have sex, I can feel my heart break a little more each time.

Where am I now as I think this? Dan's bedroom.

I stare up at the familiar white ceiling, in a familiar bed, with a familiar brown haired boy puffing and sweating next to me from the activities performed minutes ago, with a familiar feeling in my heart. I just can't do this anymore. Because I'm in love with him, and love hurts. Love is not worth the pain you get put through, love just isn't worth it. After all the routine is, I go over, we make out a little, we go into the bedroom we do the do and then I leave, and then we have to act like it never happened whenever we were around people, which is understandable I guess, but I don't deserve this.

The thing is, I don't think I was ever in love with him before we started this thing. But by the time my lips touched his, it was like trying alcohol for the first time, it's weird, but by the end of the night your drunk. It was the same with Dan, I went in feeling nothing, but by the time we had kissed for the first time, I couldn't get enough. It must have been one deadly kiss.

I sigh loudly and I throw the covers off of my exposed body, get up out of Dan's very comfortable bed, and walk around the room searching for and putting on my clothes. By the time I have my undergarments on, I hear rustling coming from Dan, and then a voice.

"What are you doing?" Dan asks. I jump slightly because I wasn't expecting him to say anything until I was actually at the front door. I turn around to face him, he's sat up in his bed with his hair all over the place with a confused look on his face. I sigh and continue to put on my clothes that I have found that were scattered around his messy bedroom.

"I'm doing what I always do, I'm leaving, going home" I say rudely. It wasn't supposed to come out rude, but it did and I mentally face palm myself for sounding rude. Dan doesn't look to phased, probably assuming that I'm just in one of my moods, but it's much more than that.

"I was hoping you would stay and watch a movie. Also it's pretty late out. I woudnt want you to get hurt or anything." Dan says sympathetically, but i wasnt in the mood for any sympathy or bullshit. I just wanted to go home so I could cry.

"Why? Because you wouldn't have anybody to fuck when you're bored? Why do you even care anyways?" I spat back ay him, in a very cold and harsh voice. I have no idea whats coming over me, but I need to get this out. Dan looked very surprised and hurt, also confused as to why I would say something like that. But he didnt look angry, like I was expecting him to. He looked more hurt than anything.

"(Y/N)? Is that seriously all you think of me? Do you think I just use you for sex? And yes, of course I care about you. You're my best friend. Am i not allowed to care about you all of a sudden? And remember, you agreed to this 'no strings attatched' thing" Dan shot back, but not in a cold way, his voice was full of hurt. He was hurt. I hurt him.

"Dan, I just don't want to do this anymore. I cant do this anymore. Its just too hard to continue something that just makes you feel like shit." I said and then paused contemplating whether or not I should say the next part. "Dan, I uh. I-I, you know what? Nevermind. Just forget that all of this happened" I grab all my stuff and start heading towards the front door.

"No, theres something more to this I know it" Dan approaches me and looks into my eyes. "Ive known you ever since Phil and I moved to London. Please just tell me whats wrong" Dan pleaded while looking into my sad eyes.. i take a deep sigh before replying

"Im in love with you, Dan. And this no strings attatched thing makes everything 10x difficult. I want to be able to repress these feelings but I cant when you call me over like every other week, just to fuck. It's hard." I reply basically whispering. Dan looked at me sympathetically, and brought a hand up to cup my cheek.

"The feeling sucks, doesnt it?" He asks. Before I could ask 'what are you on about?' He placed his lips on top of mine and then I knew what he was talking about. "How about we forget this whole 'no strings attatched' bullshit and focus on something a bit more serious?" Dan asked and I nodded happily, knowing what he was talking about.