Daniel Howell Imagines

Girl Crush

A/N: im sad and tired and i wish i could have a mental breakdown but it's 2am and im too tired for that rn. Also this is kinda creepy so I'm sorry if I've creeped anyone out with this one lmao

Genre: sad and creepy

Song(s) Used: Girl Crush - Little Big Town (this song is relatable af)

Pairing: Dan x reader

Word Count: 782 words

Warnings: swearing (as usual) and creepiness lmao

Your P.O.V

Have you ever been in love with someone who is taken? Well, it's kinda like being stabbed in the heart every time you think about them and their significant other together, making memories and just being together; being happy.

Dan is one of my best friends, which makes this even harder for me. Yes. Dan Howell has a girlfriend, I know right? Big shocker, who knew? Well no one. Because everyone is either assuming he's single or is fucking Phil.

One day, I was sitting at home, pondering and thinking about possible video ideas. I was actually thinking about doing a cover of a song, but I decided against it; because considering how I'm feeling, it'll be an emotional song and I don't want my viewers to worry about me.

With all the over thinking I was doing, I decided to just lay down and think about things. But the things I was meant to be thinking about turned into thinking about Dan and his girlfriend. His girlfriends name is Miah, and let me tell you, she's absolutely amazing and beautiful. She's everything anybody could possibly want and Dan is so fucking lucky to have someone like her.

It's almost like an obsession in some sort of way, thinking about them; thinking about her. I don't know if it's normal or anything but I can't help but want everything she has. She has amazing long blonde hair, I wanna bathe in the perfume she always wears because it's Dans favourite.

And I don't mean to sound rude or hateful but I've always wondered what she had that I don't? Or what it was that caught Dans attention? Because whatever it was I want it, I need it.

"God what is wrong with me?" I ask myself, as a few tears fall down from my eyes "pull yourself together, stop being so pathetic"

I decide to put on some music in an attempt to stop feeling so pathetic and sorry for myself, but that didn't really go to plan, in my opinion. The first song that popped up on my playlist was 'Girl Crush'. I never thought this song could be so significant in my life.

'I've got a girl crush. I hate to admit it but I've got a heart rush, ain't slowing down. I've got it real bad, I want everything she has; that smile and that midnight laugh, she's giving you now...'

Maybe I did have a girl crush on Miah. Not the 'I want to marry you' girl crush but the 'I want everything you have and I want to be everything you are' way, as creepy as that sounds.

Maybe if I was like her, Dan would want me, Dan would want to be with me. It's really pathetic, the way I'm thinking, but I actually lose sleep over this, I lose sleep, thinking about everything I could be. I lose sleep thinking about the things they're doing together. I lose sleep, day dreaming about what it would be like to be like Miah and to have Dan. Thinking about her cuddled up with Dan under his duvet trying to keep warm and being happy. Not only do I lose sleep, I lose my sense of self worth.

It's almost like, as I've fallen deeper in love with Dan, I've also fallen in love with Miah. I truly do have a girl crush on Miah. And I hate to admit that.

'I wanna taste her lips, yeah cause they taste like you, I wanna drown myself in a bottle of her perfume. I want her long blonde hair, I want her magic touch; yeah because maybe then you'd want me just as much...'

I get up to look at myself in the mirror, with tear marks staining my face, I look at myself and think 'this is why Dan doesn't love you. She's so much better than you. Maybe if you looked like her and acted like her, he'd love you...'

I wish I could be everything that he has ever wanted. Why can't I be like Miah? Why does he love her and not me? What do I have to do for him to love me?

"I've got a girl crush...."