Daniel Howell Imagines

These Are The Lies

A/N: Hey guys! Thank you so much for 4k reads on this book, it's amazing! This one is kinda sad I guess, but I promise to upload a happy one soon!

Genre: Angst

Word Count: 850 words. Soz it's short >.<

Song Used: These Are The Lies -The Cab

Second Persons P.O.V:

The London air filled Dan's lungs as he walked around, a slight chill hitting his face with each step he took. He sighed, thinking about all the errands he had to do, making a fog form in front of his face, from breathing out into the cool air. But as he's walking, he thinks. He thinks about what him and Phil are going to have for dinner tonight, he thinks about a new video idea for danisnotonfire, but one thing he always thinks about is (Y/n). He thinks about her beautiful smile that never failed to make him happy, he thinks about all of their wonderful memories, like battling til the death in Mario Kart, or just laying in bed all day without a plan of action for that day, and without a care in the world. He thinks back to when it all went wrong, back to when he messed up. The memories are heart-wrenching and gut-churning. Feeling sick just thinking about how he let her slip through his finger tips, he finds a bench and just sits down, breathing fast and haggard.

Dan usually regrets a lot of things he's done in his life, but the type of regret he's feeling now, cannot compare. Why did he let the love of his life slip out of the grasp of his finger tips? Why did he just watch her slip away instead if holding on and fighting for her? Is that what he regrets?

"Fuuuuuuuuck" he hisses to himself thinking about her. How shes off prancing around with a different guy, that's not Dan. All Dan can think about is (Y/N) and her new man, holding each other in their arms, tangled up together in bed, cuddling and kissing, making memories together, and it makes him sick. He's been this way since they broke up. But he doesn't make this known to many people. And frankly, he's lying to himself if he denies this. But he does lie to himself. He tells himself how great he's doing without her, he tells himself that he doesn't love her anymore, but he does, and deep down, he knows he does, but he's in denial, he lying to himself.

He huffs as he gives up on his errands and decides to go back home, walking back home alone with his thoughts on everything that has happened in the past few months. He had a new girl after (Y/N), but he couldnt help but compare the two women. He always compared her to (Y/N). Maybe she was just someone to help fix up the gaping hole in his heart that had been created the day the love of his life walked out the door. He always told himself how his new girl was his whole world, but she wasnt, he knew she wasnt, heck, even SHE knew that. But he wanted to seem strong. He wanted to BE strong without her.

Everyone would ask if he was okay, which he absolutely hated. But he always said he was, but he wasn't, everyone knew he wasn't, but everytime he said he was, people never questioned him. He tells himself that he doesnt care if shes not sleeping alone. But oh my god he definitely cares.

Dan gets up and starts walking around, putting his earphones into his ears, playing one of his Spotify playlists. And the song that plays is exactly how he was feeling. Call it cliché but every single word described the situation he was in.

'no I dont cry about you, never seen tears in my eyes about you, im gonna be fine if I die without you, baby im gone. These are the lies that I tell myself at night. These are the lies that are keeping me alive. These are the lies'

Dan found himself walking up the stairs of his apartment, abandoning the errands he was supposed to be doing. He speed walked to his bedroom and absolutely broke down at the next verse of the song

'Because the truth is, I'm about to lose it, don't think I can do this, if I'm not with you..."

That song became Dan's life, and as he thinks about the lyrics with tears streaming down his face, he realizes that he regrets not treating her right. I guess he didn't realize how he was treating her when they were together, but nobody would leave a relationship for nothing.

And thats it. Dan knows she's so much happier now, but my god he's miserable. But, what do you do when the person you love and miss, is off prancing around with someone else because you didn't treat them right? There's nothing you can do about it, you just learn to accept it in time.