Katniss
She lies there, wrapped in a cocoon of multicolored blankets and several stuffed toys, gifted to her by her Aunt Effie and her Uncle Haymitch. Her eyes, the diamond blue that she has inherited from Peeta, are closed tightly. She's sound asleep, her little nose twitching every minute or so. Her name is Willow, just as Peeta and I discussed. He was right in believing that she was going to be a girl.
I stand at the end of her crib, watching her silently. No one has ever made me feel this happy, not in the same way at least. Peeta tip-toes towards me, wraps his arms across my chest and rests his head on my shoulder. "I love her so much, Katniss," he whispers, planting a soft kiss lightly on my cheek. A warm smile spreads across my cheeks and I turn my head to look at him.
"I do too," I say before adding, "It was worth it. All of it, everything that we have gone through, was worth it because we have her." Peeta nods and we continue to watch our newborn baby girl with wide, mesmerized eyes. I have never seen anything more beautiful in my life.
It was the third week of May. Spring had blown through the district with full force. Food was being restocked, animals were slowly coming back to life, birds started chirping again, and everyone's lawn exploded in several shades of bright yellow dandelions.
At that point, I was almost completely immobile. Peeta had to do everything for me. I didn't even have the strength, or energy, to get up to get a drink of water. Although Buttercup seemed to be adjusting quite easily to his new hobbies of lying down beside me almost constantly and trailing at my heels wherever I went. It's hard to believe that he's the same scraggly cat I tried to drown as a newborn kitten, already ten years ago.
"Peeta, I hate this!" I exclaim. "She was supposed to be here by now." Peeta and I have succumbed to calling our baby "she" all of the time now. Although, it has become a habit, so if the baby is really a boy, it will take some getting used to. But, Peeta is set on the fact that it will be a girl, so I go along with it. I haven't spoken it aloud, but I do hope for a girl rather than a boy anyway.
"I know Katniss. She'll be here soon. I promise," he says kissing the top of my head. I sit on the couch in the livingroom before the fire. I have hardly moved within the past week, other than to use the bathroom, which is frequently, and to sleep. I can't bare to sleep without Peeta. Besides, I'm too afraid that I would have a nightmare and roll onto the floor.
"What if something is wrong?" I ask.
"It won't be. Everything will be fine, this is completely normal. My mother told me that I was three weeks late. In two weeks, she'll break a Mellark record," Peeta jokes.
"So, this is your fault then," I grumble, trying my best to hide the smile that is forcing its way across my face.
"You can do this. Just a little while longer," he tells me, quickly pecking my lips with his.
The first night was the hardest. I made Peeta move her crib into our bedroom, just so I could make sure she was alright throughout the night. The fear of her somehow escaping from my tight, loving grasp has continually ceased to leave me. Within the last few weeks, the terror has calmed some, but it's still there. I'm not sure if it will ever completeley go away.
When I look at her, I see my sister. Not only because of the way she looks, but the utter joy she brings to me, to everyone. Prim would have loved to meet her baby niece. I'm positive that she would have cried the first time she saw Willow. If she heard her name, it would just make her cry harder. I wish all of them; Prim, Rue, Ruth, my father could see her. I wish that they could see the beautiful thing that I have somehow brought into this world. I still have yet to believe that she comes from me. She's too perfect. I pick her up and hold her little form tightly to my body. She yawns and clenches her fist, her eyes still shut tight.
We're sitting on the couch in our livingroom again. Peeta is weaving tiny strands of my hair into even smaller braids. Haymitch sits in the kitchen with Effie. I try my hardest to block out their frivolous bickering. Effie arrived yesterday, though I'm not completely sure why. She claims that she wants to help out around our house, but in truth, I think she wants to shower our baby in all of her luxurious gifts. I'm tempted to kick her out and send her back to The Capitol, but I know Peeta would never allow it. Although she has stayed true to her word, in that she really is assisting us in housework, but her constant complaining and arguing with Haymitch is pushing the urge to force her out even higher through every seecond.
Within the past week, Annie and Johanna have arrived in District 12, both eager to know more about my unborn child. Both of them are staying in a house one door down with my mother, who I am starting to pity deeply. While Annie is hardly a hastle, she has to deal with and feed Finn. And more importantly, Johanna. I can tell that my mother has enjoyed spending time with Finn, though. I haven't seen her speak to a child with so much joy since before the Reaping. I know that she will love my daughter, or my son, if it really is a boy. Even Gale, who I have only spoken to twice in about seven months, stopped by with his youngest daughter a few days ago. He and his wife are expecting another baby.
I'm about to shut my eyes when I feel a pain in my lower stomach like nothing I've ever felt before. For a second, I stop breathing entirely. Peeta seems to notice the sudden change, drops the unfinished strand of hair and positions himself to look at me. "Katniss?"
I can't seem to force words from my mouth. All I can bring myself to do is look at him with the absolute terror that I know displayed across my face. "Can we make it to the hospital?" he asks. I'm thankful that he doesn't make me say it. I'm too afraid to let the words slip from my mouth. I'm going to have a baby. I shake my head no in reply, and he goes to the phone to call my mother. Haymitch and Effie pick up on what's happening quickly. Within seconds, Haymitch has opened another bottle of alcohol. Effie's face has turned bright red and she won't stop squeaking random phrases and biting at her nails. "I can't do this. . ." I train my eyes on the fireplace crackling before me. The fire, which lights the room with a warm glow, is another symbol I am constantly exposed to of my wretched past. "I can't do this," I say again, unable to look away from the orange flames.
Peeta is back at my side, whispering comforting things that I choose to block out. I can't look at him. I can't see the disappointment in his eyes. I know it must be there. I'm going to let him down once more. "I can't do it, Peeta. I'm sorry. I can't." I try my best to blink the hot tears away before they spill over my eyelids and down my cheeks, but it does nothing to stop them from doing so anyway. "I can't do it."
"Katniss, you can do this. I love you so much. You are so brave, so strong. You can do this. You will do this," he says, pressing his forehead to mine. We're so close that our noses brush against each other when we breathe. "Everything is going to be okay. I promise."
Everything is going to be okay. I look at my daughter again. Her wide blue eyes flutter open and she looks up at Peeta and I. Yes, it was most certainly okay.
Okay. I am sosososososososososososo sorry. Literally, I can't even explain how guilty I feel for making you guys wait for 2 MONTHS. 2 months. Anywayyyy, I promised you and explanation so here it is. Time. I know it's a dumb excuse but I literally don't have it. At all. No time. Whatsoever. Buuuut, things will only improve from here (I hope. . . ). My volleyball season is ending this week, so that will definitely give me way more time to spend on writing. But, you have to consider school in there too. I've been getting an immense amount of homework lately and I've hardly even had enough time for that. So, hopefully now that I won't be getting home so late from practices and games, I can finish my homework early and spend time writing for you. (On a completely different note, do you think I should start posting messages everyday for you guys? Like, updates or questions about the upcoming chapter? Or, just to talk to you guys in general. Let me know.)
Okay, so about this chapter. I know it probably wasn't very good, but I'm just getting back into the "Always-writing-style" again. Comment if you want me to continue on with this chapter and to keep flashing back to when Willow was born. Or I can just go on with the story, instead. Either way, I'm happy :) I'll write whatever you guys want me to <3
I LOVE Y'ALL SOOO MUCH!!!!! (also sorry for writing basically a whole essay of complete rambling oops ^)
-booklover2019
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Always: A Hunger Games Fanfiction
FanfictionMy name is Katniss Everdeen. I am eighteen years old. I survived The Hunger Games twice. Peeta was hijacked. He was rescued and he's fighting to return to his old self. I led the revolution that led to the fall of President Snow. Snow. Snow is dead...
