Always: A Hunger Games Fanfiction

Chapter 106

Katniss

When I speak to Haymitch on the phone, his voice is flushed with sadness. I know he hates seeing the both of us struggle, especially Peeta, after all we've been through. I know Haymitch cares about us, even though sometimes he refrains to show it. "I'll be there soon, sweetheart." I flinch at his use of my unwanted nickname. Still, after all of these years, I hate it.

"Haymitch is coming," I say quietly to Peeta, who sits in a dull and extraoridinarily dull waiting room.

"Katniss, when I'm in that room," he says, referring to the testing room across from us. "I don't want you to be here. I don't want you to see me like that."

"Peeta, I already have-"

"No! I hate the fact that I get like that, but I hate the fact that you see me like that even more." I'm not sure what to say, so instead I nod, although I don't know how I will be able to stay away from here; away from him, constantly worrying. "I know you don't want to do this. But just try to remember the fact that tomorrow we'll be back home, safe from my hijacked self." I nod again, concentrating on the patterned tiles below my feet.

"Katniss," he says with a break in his voice. "I love you."

My eyes drift from the floor, meeting his halfway there. All I can mange is a small I love you too before I shut my eyes and wedge my face in the crook of his neck.

***

It's only a few hours later when Peeta is called into the seemingly malicious room before us. I begin to panic when he stands. My hand flies to his, my grip tighter than a snake's. "It's okay Katniss. I'll see you tomorrow, I promise." I know that we'll see each other tomorrow, but the thought that something could happen and he won't be the same refuses to exit my mind.

"I love you," I murmer, and wrap my arms around his muscular shoulder blades.

"I love you too, Katniss. It'll be okay." Our lips touch for a matter of seconds before he pulls away and leaves me alone in the empty hallway.

My mind keeps repeating Peeta's last words; it'll be okay, it'll be okay, it'll be okay. A small sliver of me belives him, but the majority doesn't. My brain has been trained to think of the worst in every situation. But really, who can blame me considering everything that's happened?

I don't want you to be here. I consider Peeta's words for a few seconds, but eventually decide to ignore them. I have to watch him, to make sure he isn't getting hurt. I slowly stand, not completely trusting my own legs.

There's a small window on the wall, so I can see Peeta. He's sitting on a white sheeted bed in the middle of the room. There are cameras in the corners of the walls, and doctors hooking him up to several different wires. I duck when his glance shifts my way and wait a for a minute, just to be safe.

There are nurses dressed in red in white surrounding him. I begin to panic when I see that one of them has a syringe. By the expression on Peeta's face, he does too. When she comes towards him, he shies away to the wall. Before I can do anything, the needle in in his arm, and his eyes begin to dialate rapidly. The women scatter out of the door and he's left alone, fighting the restraints that they put on him. "What did you do?" I scream at the nurses.

"Calm down dear," an older woman says. "This is part of the process. He has to be in temporary hijack-mode for the doctor to moniter his brain." I hardly pick up the words that she says. It's all coming back to me in a blurry, terryfing wave. Peeta being held down to a hospital bed, his hatred towards me, the fact that he's completely out of reach. It all frightens me to my very core.

"How long will it last?" I mutter, my eyes focused on the broken boy on the other side of the glass.

"Just for an hour or two. But he'll have to stay somewhere," the woman pauses. "Separated from you. Just in case the drugs haven't completely worn off."

I'm not listening at all anymore. Whatever the substance was that the nurse shot into his arm seems to really be kicking in now. Even through the thick glass, I hear his sobs and his cries for help. He's pulling on the restraints so hard I can see blood beginning to drip down his arms. "Peeta," I whisper, pressing my hand against the glass. The nurses watch him too, but they look completely unfazed.

Pure anger surges through my veins. It clouds my vision and I begin to feel dizzy. Soon, I can't handle watching this anymore. "Stop!" I scream, pounding on the glass. "Stop it, make it stop!"

"Calm down, Mrs. Mellark."

"No! You're hurting him!" I scream.

"Hey!" I spin around, tears streaming down my cheeks. "What's going on here?" Haymitch strides towards us, and I feel a sense of relief. He has to stop this. He has to do something.

"They're hurting him, Haymitch," I say, of breath. He glances through the glass and sighs. "Please, do something."

"Is there any way you can stop this?" he asks the nurses. They all shake their heads in unison.

"There has to be a way," I whimper. "Please."

Haymitch wraps his arms around my frail body in a fatherly embrace. I hold onto his arm like it's a lifeline, sobs wracking my body. "He's going to be fine, okay? You're fine."

I limp over to the chairs again, Haymitch's arms wrapped around me.

After another half-hour of agonizing waiting, Dr. Aurelius starts towards us. I stand immediately. "Is it over?" I ask, knowing the answer even before he says it.

"Not quite," he replies with a look of fake sorrow plastered on his face. "We were thinking that it would help if you were to go into the room with him. Just to see how he reacts to seeing you. Of course, if you aren't okay with that. . ."

"I don't think that's the safest option," Haymitch says, eyeing me uncertainly. I want to see Peeta, obviously, but can I watch him struggling again? I tune out Haymitch and the doctor's bickering. Honestly, I don't care what either of them think.

"I'll do it," I whisper, cutting Haymitch off from whatever nonsense he was talking about.

"Katniss, are you sure-"

"I'm not afraid of him. It's Peeta," I say, my voice cracking when I say his name. Thankfully, Haymitch agrees without another word. I stand before the door, anxiousness building up in my chest.

"Put this on so we can tell you what to say," he says, and I take the ear piece from his hands. "And Katniss, don't do anything stupid." I don't question why he says it. I've been known to do a lot of stupid things when I'm not thinking clearly.

When I enter the room, Peeta freezes for a split second before yelling and fighting again. "Get away you stupid mutt! I hate you! You're nothing!"

Whoever's voice it is on the other end of the earpiece tells me to tell him it isn't real; that the Capitol is to blame for everything, and now that Snow's dead he can't be hurt anymore. I almost choke on laughter when the man says that. What does he think he's doing right now? But I do as I'm told. I see no change in Peeta whatsoever. By now he usually softens up and begins to return to normal. "You're disgusting," he spits. "You are vile, malicious, and cruel. Get out of here before you kill everyone! I hate you!"

I'm not sure what's happening now. I usually don't let Peeta's hijacked words faze me, but now I feel heartache spreading rapidly in my chest. I'm frozen in my place. "Alright Katniss. Leave the room slowly." I turn to leave, but something stops me, and I send an apology to Dr. Aurelius in my mind. I an going to do something stupid.

I take the earpiece off and drop it on the ground, suddenly feeling more confident without the thing. I take a few steps forward to where Peeta lies, struggling against the retraints. "Listen Peeta, this isn't real," I whisper. He's not listening. "Always."

And that's when my lips move forward and suddenly they're against his.